Went full on beta today guys. Quite ashamed to write this .
I said congrats on her results.
Her: "yess I was quite happy tbh

that was for my nameday as well

what are you doing today??"
Me: "aww I'm happy for you!"
Her: ":D

so what are your plans today mister?

"
Me: "Okay I admit it you are quite clever
I'm back in {our uni town} for the evening!
How are you celebrating?"
Her: "by coming to {my country} -_-
theres actually a concert i might go to tonight, but now sure yet
I actually went to the airport this mornign to get my brother and I saw the singers arriving there and i thought to myself i dont need to go tonight then ;p"
Me: hahaha
Good logic
Her: naah its just that I try to fit too many things in my schedule, and I tried to convince myself to not go, but didnt succeed ;p
Me: oh shit
{her friend} just shouted hey at me
And I completely missed it
That's your fault miss
Her: hahahah aalways my fault ;p
Me: What's going on next week then?
Her: God knows ;p ill keep you updated, my mum has a two page (until today ;p) plan haha
Me: haha {her country} families
Her: tell me about it!! ;p so are you going on your spontanteous trip?
Me: I'm not sure. I may just do a weekend in Marseille at some point instead
Her: sounds fun

im taking this which two friends characters are you most alike (dont ask why- its so unlike me ;p) and theres this question which gf/bf character did you hate the most and theres a janice option, guess which one {confusedkid} would choose ;p
Me: <evil face>
Her : hahaha it says im joey and monica, i want to be phoebe -.-
#10yearold #firstworldproblems
Me: Monica's hot, I can live with that
Her: hahaha okay ;p
Me: Have you lost a bit of interest in us recently?
Her: no :/ why do you say that??
Me: You just seemed a bit distant recently
Pardon the pun
Are you okay?
Her: yes, is just that im barely in the house and bcz I have not 4g here, maybe thats why :/
Me: it's not that
I just feel like if we don't see eachother when you're back, we're quite likely to lose interest in eachother
~I try to call her~
Her: i really want to see you when I come back, but its quite difficult, most of the days I wont even be in {uni town#, if thats how you feel, then I don't know what to say... :/
Me: Can we talk quickly?
Her: shit I can't now sorry
Me: you know how I feel
I want to come and see you in {her country)
I love spending time with you
Her: i love spending time with you too! it's just thinking about this, im not sure if I can do this distance thing right now, i think its not good for us, if you want we can try again in September, im not asking you to wait for me or anything, im just saying if you are still up for us in a couple of months we can give it another try...
Me: How long have you felt that?
Her: just now, I didn't know that you felt that not meeting up will ruin this, so thinking about it now, and because I have bad memories with distance, I think thats the best solution..
Me: It's not that
I'm not losing interest in you
I was slightly worried you would lose interest in us
That's why I asked
I don't want us to take a break, I don't think it's necessary. I was just worried about you
Her: I don't know, tbh i havent thought about this until now and figured that will be the best solution
Me: Well madame I don't think we should
We both love the time we spend together
I've only had one proper long term relationship before
We have nothing to worry about
It's just been a crap we haven't been able to SPAM as there's lots of things I would like to have told you that can only be conveyed personally
Her: ook then, if you are sure this will be fine, ill trust you!!
Me : I'd never let you get hurt silly :p
Who else is gonna iron my shirts next year?
Her : p.s. i don't iron ahhahaha ;p
Me: We'll find something you're good at ;p
Her: excuse me? im good at ironing i just avoid it. hahahha
anyway im leaving the house so ill speak to you tomorrow

have a great rest of the night x
Me: Hahaa okay, have a good night! I've got typical {me} story to tell you tomorrow!

X
Her: ook
So I realise that was more beta than a lone electron. Have I fucked it up? I really want to turn this around guys. I'm sorry for not taking your advice, the uncertainty in the 'relationship' was killing me. Is it a relationship - she mentioned long distance?!
In other news, a waitress stopped and talked to me while I ordered my meal earlier with some friends. Stopped to talk to me again and asked what I was doing in town do wrote down her Facebook for me. Bit of a confidence boost.