Bottom line here's the question... I invite girls to go have a drink somewhere or get a smoothie... something I know wont be very expensive because I go on a lot of dates and cant afford to spend too much money each time. The problem is when we get there they're hungry and want to order food. How do I avoid having to buy meals on the 1st date. I dont mind doing it later on after we've gone to the next level but I cant afford to buy every girl a meal on the 1st date.

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I mean you can't be a cheapskate for the first date. I usually pay for the first date. I have become fond of the inexpensive but good eating areas around my city. I suggest you use YELP or google to find these places. Also, you can easily cook for the girls. Cook for yourself and her and take her to your house. Easy peasy. And some of the girls never really had a man cooking for them anyway.




If you are advanced, you can tell them that you are getting a bite to eat before you guys meet up. If they understand social skills at all, this means that they better eat something before yall meet up. I remember some chick was talking about donuts and how she wants some, I was like mmm that's nice. I g2g run a mile ttyl.

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The problem is I dont make a whole lot of money. If Im doing meals you're looking at about $50 a date... 3 dates a week $150... Thats $600 a month!!! I do like the line "Im gonna grab a bite before we meet up" though. Imma try that... but anymore suggestions by anyone are welcome...

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"Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits"

Go get a job and then date.

Either that or pack a sandwich in some plastic wrap, pull it out when they start looking at the food menu.

Come on man, this isn't rocket science. FFS

Stop going places that offer food, or stop going at 6pm on a Friday evening when everyone's eating dinner...

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yeah man. If you can't handle it don't go on dates that offer food.

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Take her to Denny's, say its your bday to get a free dessert with two spoons and voila.

I never pay on first dates. My friend (who does well attracting women) lavishes women with drinks, dinners, and gifts on first dates. Then he gets friendzoned the next morning.

Sometimes they'll ask me why I'm not buying and I'll just be honest: "I'm just feeling things out". This takes her off the princess pedestal 90% of guys put her on and let's her know she needs to qualify herself to you as well.

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Keep in mind that one does not prove the other. My friend always pays for first dates and he can't get rid of women. This is more likely a personality issue than not paying for the first date issue.

OP, if you make the invite to go somewhere...make sure you can afford it.

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As Jack stated, don't suggest a drink if you're not willing to at least pay for it

Most girls will split the bill but depends on your culture. Eastern European tend to expect the guy to pay though which annoys me.

But yeah, don't go to places that serve food. If she wants to order food, let her, but don't share the food with her. That way she should feel bad about assuming you're going to pay and probably offer up.

Where I am from, we pay for the stuff before we get it, which keeps things simple than one big bill at the end of the night to awkwardly split.

You can always get creative and just go for a walk along the canal or something and perhaps grab some cheap supermarket alcohol and sit on a bench. I have done this a few times.

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Don't go to food places. Simple.

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"Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits"

In my city, the drink places serve food as well. So if a girl gets hungry right before the date, she's gonna suggest ordering food at the date. One way to get around not having to get food at a drinks place, is pick a drinks place thats kinda grungy. For eg, when she's sitting at a nice bar having a drink with you and the table next to you orders the delicious looking cheese platter or meal, its just human psychology that she gets a whiff of it and wants to eat. Thats up to you where you take her.

Dinners really arent a big deal. Like I have a friend who loves food and makes good money, he's always looking to try a new place out or try a new dish at an old one. So when he would go on dates (married next month) he'd choose restaurants and pay, because to him it wasnt a big deal and he likes having dinner and talking. The problem is, many guys dont appreciate dinner, and their money isn't too good, so they see going to dinner with a girl as this big thing. Tbh, the average chick isnt spending 2+hrs with you for a $20 meal and the ones who are going to just use you, you shouldve screened out before the date. Most women wont have a prob getting the bill the second time. Dont do dinner if you dont like dinner yourself, because now you're just doing something you dont want to please her.

If you're going on 3 new dates a week..it sounds like you cant afford that lifestyle. You'll always be paying most of the time for your first dates, so even when you're on a second or third date with a woman, your pockets are going to be depleted from the 3 other first dates you had that week. 3 first dates a week sounds cool, but if money is an issue, you're just wasting it if girls arent coming back. In a good scenario, girls from the prior week would get sticky and you'd see them in the second week.

My point is, if you're thinking about the money then your lifestyle doesnt support it. So either change your lifestyle or scale back. Instead of 3 dates, you may do 1 where the girl is done to meet at yours. At least, the way I read it, if you're on 3 new first dates a week, then what is happening to the 3 girls from last week?

All of your replies are condescending, pathetic and weak, not actual advice for someone trying to figure out how to avoid or deal with the fucking problem of women friendzoninga guy who pays for the date. "Invite her to your place"...are you effing kidding me? ON A FIRST DATE? in NYC? no women (that was met online or on street) is stupid enough to do that. How about someone who isn't a fucking 15 year child in here, give some actual, legitimate, real world advice to use or say when the bill shows up.