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how can you NOT like a girls fuck face? i just dont get it...
This

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By the way, stop telling yourself that she doesn't want you, and stop talking about her or treating her as "just some fuck". And here is the answer: it doesn't matter if she doesn't want you. Because there will be another one, and another one. And you can't fail, you can only get more confident.
And I would seriously suggest just speaking up or out about something about what you are saying here. Just say you are nervous. Just say you are a bit anxious, but you may want to avoid that word at first. Just mention *something* about it. "I don't know what to talk about". Well, DUH? Talk about what you feel, perhaps? Age difference? Nonsense. That's just something you tell yourself. You can talk about each other just fine. Don't get stuck in this isolation thing.
Hell, I can talk to 13 year olds just fine. What's the crap about not being able to talk to children?
Like, who invented that? I don't get it. She is 18, and currently, she is constantly thinking about sex. With you, even. And she might get nervous. So speak out about some of that. It is good to mention it here first. But it's not a bad thing. It's just a silly thing. It's silly because you can just tell her. "You know I'm really nervous?"
I'm crap at getting girls I guess but I usually just say what's on my mind. Maybe I'm a bit cynical at times. And that rubs off on people. But still.
Like, some girl I had given a soft kick against her leg for ignoring me or not (in any polite sense) doing what I asked her to and who was up in arms about that now suddenly acted nice to me again and sat at my door (of a room) for some time just chilling. Okay maybe the kick was less soft than I had intended, and she is a horror of a girl. Still. Nature works in mysterious ways some time. Just don't sweat it so much. Speak your mind, more often in any case.
What do you have to lose really? That people know you? That is win. That is always win. People can't do what you want if they don't know what you want. ;D.
And there is always gonna be *someone* who is going to be interested in doing what you want

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You just gotta find that person, or several of them. But they can't find you if no one knows about you

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I took that lesson from somewhere else, as well. So risk being "sushi" and risk losing some people now and then, if the win is that more people know about the real you.