Hi there, So I hurt my girlfriend the other day and we broke up because i had cheated on her a year into our relationship and i didn't tell her because i didn't want to break her heart.

I have no excuses, but the reason it happened was I was in a lot of pain hurt misery, and now she's gone and it hurts because she was my soul mate, and my best friend, we was perfect, but i made 1 mistake and i've lost her.

Now the day after I went 200 miles to see her without her knowing so i could fix it, things did not go well, i was a bit crazy lol.

I have been told by many people not to contact her at all and this will give her time and space to think about me and so far 3 days .

But my question is, you freeze out the dumper, but i was the dumper (I got insecure and she wouldnt message me, not knowing whilst i was giving her shit, she was having a massive argument with her housemates which is when she got told i cheated), but i'm the dumpee she says its the right decision and she doesn't want to be together with me anymore, and i'm struggling with this because i know full well i can move on but i DONT want too, I want this girl, not any other (should of thought about that) and i'm at a loss..

What I want to know is, NO contact VS Contact, being the dumper? Obviously i think she's taken the role of dumper as she's not talking to me and has unfriended me on facebook (which i see as a blessing, if she's not on facebook shes with SPAM, if shes with them she's distracted and cant miss or think about me, which means that shes going on facebook but doesnt wanna see my spamfeed :L), Do I not text? do I wait a week and then text sayin "I miss you, I fucked up", as I was the one that fucked up, where do i stand? What steps can i take other than the generic get your life together etc show her you're busy and living life.

Because my fear is, what if she's waiting for me to text, what if i just need to give her a bit of reassurance, and i can fix it that way?

Or do i not message at all, but then as the dumper I dont want to give her the space to move on.

so i'm tied with "Do i need to reassure her, do i need to show her i can make it right"
or "Don't message her, let her come to terms with how she feels, and she will miss you" <---But then what if NC isn't appropriate here given the situation

You're relying too much on who texts who PUA tactics crap..

This is more deeper than that. This is more about a trust that you severed. This is more about being a man and apologising and get the trust back. Not text game dynamics.

The power is all in her favour and she will probably sustain power if you get back with her.

If I was you, I would accept that I fucked up and find more girls. Continue to lead your good life and If she initiates contact, then happy days. The ball is in her court only. Let's hope for your sake that she isn't full of pride and will give you a 2nd chance.

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This.

Don't make decisions when you're under emotional distress. Let things cool.

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Definitely let your emotions cool down so you can think of a game plan...this might also help her cool down as well and maybe miss you. Sucks though, once you break that trust, it is pretty hard to get back.

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If i'm honest I never cheated at all, but that's what she knows and has heard and she wont reply, its all just a fucking misunderstanding and hence why i never said anything, and she's surrounded by 8 people that live in her house that doesnt know her me or us, and yet i know for a fact they are slating me like crazy......I've tried messaging her, i'm half temped to message her mum, which is probably a bad idea but also might be a good idea, my girlfriend/ex is not like other girls, she's truly loyal and loves with all her heart and you'll never find a girl quite like her, i know i can move on but i dont want too, i know what we have is worth holding on to, I think If i messaged her mum she would probably talk to her, as she knows her daughter is easily influenced by the opinions of other people and follows a crowd like a fool ><!She comes down for reading week in 2 weeks i think, i've sent her a few texts in the last 12 hours, quite lengthly ones explaining how its a misunderstanding, to not listen to rumours, do i now leave her be till she comes down? Even tho she isn't replying do i still text her? I'm not sending negative stuff, purely positive I just don't know what i am supposed to do, and it doesnt help that she's got all these people with her all the time till literally she goes to sleep (I mean she didn't listen to the rumours i was a rapest paedo woman beater lmao so why fucking this)

Which is it??

Mate, you're not gonna get any advice until you're honest with yourself first and foremost. I've cheated too, but I'm not deluded about it. Did you kiss another girl, YES or NO?

If you did, and you admit it to her. The TRUST is severed. Hence why she doesn't text you. Surely her mum is going to back her up if YOU have admitted that you kissed another girl? Seems like you're clutching straws to win her back.

Now, if you DIDN'T kiss another girl and she is fact listening to the bullshit of haterz. Just tell the truth that it's bull shit and don't even entertain the rumours.

Wake up.

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I had no contact at all, the only contact is literally the SPLIT SECOND i touched her skin and was hit by a massive shockwave of "WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOING". You can tell the truth but when she's 180 miles away, living in a house with 7 girls and 1 guy, and won't message me back, what can i do.

I did however when this come to light, say "Sorry i cheated on you", which isn't true, I never cheated on her, the split second i touched skin I was hit by a massive shockwave of "cantdoitwtfamidoing", I probably shouldn't of said that right at the very start, instead i could of explained and now she has the wrong idea ><

Why would you tell her cheated on her then if nothing happened?

You can't bull shit a bull shitter. I think you're changing your tune for this thread. But I can't prove it obviously but you're only lying to yourself.

"Hey gf's mum, i know I said I admitted to cheating on your daughter, but it's not true, I don't know why I said that. Could you tell her to be with me?"

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Look I never kissed or did anything with this girl, I did admit to her i cheated, but then i immediately told her that I didn't actually go in, fuck, kiss, hug, there was no nakedness, I literally mate, touched her pussy with the motive of fingering, and I immediately stopped them my finger touched said pussy, clear enough for you? And some people consider that cheating, hey i may of said the wrong thing, but I was true in what i've said here, I'll give any details you want to know, I'm being 100% honest, LOADS of my friends consider this nothing and mediocre but i know to her its a really big deal and to all her friends that are being cunts. I touched a girls pussy, to me thats cheating, but at the same time, i do not consider this cheating, wrong place to touch but i literally shit you not immediately pulled my arm back. It doesn't matter my opinion on the matter tho does it. Call my bluff all you want, quite frankly, I have no control over what you do or do not believe

Would you consider it nothing and mediocre if she'd had touched some dude's dick with the tip of her tongue or fingers? Lol

What you consider as cheating is irrelevant in this scenario. What she considers to be cheating, is. Because it's her trust your actions broke.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I know it's all on her, and personally if it was her tongue then yes, totally different, then literally a split second touch with a finger, it was LITERALLY as quick as that, truth be told that if she was hurt and angry with me, so she gets really drunk and decides fuck it ill hurt him too, and some guy has his dick out, just before she tosses him off, the second she touched it, she couldn't do it.......I would trust her with my life, because at that point, where she is most hurt, most angry, influenced by booze, she still could not hurt me, or do it.....

For the love of god, dude, it's about the intentions.

If some guy starts raping a woman, but only lightly touches her, it's still fucking rape. Even if he fails or stops, he'll still be charged for intent.

So stop rationalizing Shakespearian romances. Your actions are not commendable because you didn't go through with what you started.
If I'm an alcoholic, buy a beer and only take a sip you honestly expect people around me to praise my oh so impressive self control?
Do you really not see the flaws in your arguments?

Man the fuck up and assume the consequences of your actions. You chose to, for whatever reason, make this story known to her. Now own it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

This thread is a mystery. Who was the chick. How did it happen. How did you gf find out.

But yeah does sound like cheating. I don't know if the mom is a good route. Do you really think you can rationalize touching a chick's Pussy even if it was for a second to a woman let alone her mother? Your friends are lying to you

She was carrying another man and I have a relationship, which I can not accept.




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