this is an interesting post kasabi, what are some practical exercises a person can work on to improve how they communicate from the extrospecive both in real time and at home?

I don't know.

I have ideas but it's clear to me that ^this is incredibly difficult for some, and impossible for most. Those guys in the documentary are one out of hundreds to begin with. (One guy who interviews candidates for their bar mentions this) And they need to become YOU people out of "need". If they don't figure it out, they're out of a job.

There's got to be a 'buy-in'. There's got to be a commitment to evolve from the reptilian brain-set. The ideology itself is a selling point for some. Others want to see some sort of proof: this is why I recommended a book and even a documentary. . . but as you can see there's still push back. Mostly . . . this is a decision. But for most of us, our pasts continue to haunt us and drive us.

If there's a 'buy in', then there's two things I can recommend:

1. Watching meditation. This isn't really what most would think of as meditation . . . it's more of a reflection exercise; it's a time out. If/when you feel you have familiar negative emotions rise or old habits surface, just take a time out and watch yourself. Where did these things come from? Where is it going? What do I want to accomplish? How can I get there?

2. Keep a journal for ^this.

For those of you who do not have netflix:

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjEzMjkxMjQw.html

Watched the first 5 minutes. Those guys are straight boss.

Is it based on a true story? Or all scripted?

I watched the documentary, this is my take on it.

90% of the girls that go (or at least in the film) admit to being a prostitute, or an escort. So would you say that this service provides these women to get the emotional fix which then becomes attachment because their profession is just providing a quick lay for regular clients, with no talking, just sex and that's it.

So the guys see and recognise this and take advantage of this situation and make her feel important and cherished, but also refusing any kind of commitment to the girl making excuses not to get serious over and over, which keeps them a challenge. But then these "hosts" withdraw this attention as soon as another client buys a more expensive bottle of champagne, and the only way the previous client can get this attention back is buying a champagne bottle too.

The thing that has struck me the most (which is essentially you're point in the importance of you) is the guys actually withdraw any kind of physical escalation/touch and seem very reluctant enough to give the girl so much as a hug. Yet the girl has pure infatuation for their host and some claim to be in love.

What about making statements of the girls instead of asking.

For example:
I noticed one time when I was having a conversation that the girl was almost the whole time having a smile, had quite some volume in her voice, with high energy. I made the statement: You know, I believe you are a very energetic girl, someone who wants to stand out of the crowd and isn't afraid to show her strong points or weaknesses. Even though I didn't had it all right, she did agree with some points, and thought I was interesting.

What my point is: By making statements you try to find out her interests in a different way then 'normal' guys would do. Instead of asking the boring, interviewing questions, you try to understand her. If you're wrong, she will correct you.

You invest some effort to try and figure out her personality, and that will lead to interest because somehow she believes that you are starting to know her.

I once had someone say: Wow, we are talking like 5 minutes but it feels like you know me for years. And that was only because I assumed her personality quite good.

If you train on this, you will assume more things, and eventually you guess more things right. You become a people's person, a social understanding person. Isn't that what we want? Become social, actually love being under people, and never want to be truly alone?

Wallie

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Just finished watching the movie.

If Value = perceived benefits/price . . . I assume the 'perceived benefits' part is the comfort that the guys provide to the girls. They take them to Neverland where the prostitutes' problems don't exist for the night. They give them that one thing that makes them temporarily happy. And therefore, the 'price' part can have an infinite value . . . This is their zen, their happy spot. They will pay anything to keep it, for the time they NEED it . . .

This is why I don't see how this is different from waving your cock and seducing a woman for the night? The only difference is that waving your cock = temporary physical value and providing comfort the way the hosts do it = temporary emotional value.

When they feel good about themselves and don't need the emotional/physical support anymore, they toss the hosts away like used tampons.

But I guess since this is a PU forum that it should be applied to real life/pick-up and not some job as a 'host' or escort . . . Meaning that if you give the woman an emotional value to 'hunt' after (i.e. understanding her, eliciting deeper feelings, etc), she'll stick to you more efficiently than any physical value or 'shallow' game can.

So if Value = Perceived Benefits/price and you apply a caring and emotional connection with the woman (without using simple sex as your end goal but actually enjoying the interaction itself) in the 'perceived benefits' part - her 'price' will be endless and she'll sleep with you, give in to your needs, etc - all because you did the very same thing in the first place?

I understand ^this seems a little messy for now, but am I remotely close to understanding it?

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The movie is fun but their 'bar room' strategy is not the point. The idea is still "YOU". Accept this principle and you'll get closer to doing the right thing, at the right time, with the right person.

love it when I swing by here like old days and see a timeless Kasabi thread.

Nostalgia.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

16:37 in and I do believe that their is something to be gained from us non paid-for-our-company-but-not-for-sex crowd. Keep it focused on them and only them, do not worry about the destination, let the journey itself be your goal. Be adaptable, be many things to many people. This is possible while being true to oneself. I believe anyhow.

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My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

Don't you think that it depends upon the Nature of the girl too ?? Some girls would be sexually attracted to you using this approach while others will percieve you as the "Nice Guy" and put you in the friend zone ??
I can relate to both cases from my experience. I think most of the time you are percieved as Nice Guy, thats why so many social guys are "Just friends" with the girls... while it does work the other way too but less likely in my opinion...

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Don't get confused by my username. I am not Bald.

If you have a valuable offering, you could get away with a "me pitch" and sell a product or two... but a connection of people is never made this way. Which is why today, sales manuals from children's bikes to 50 foot yachts is based on "you". Go to a fast food shop or a retail store and you'll know immediately whether an employee read the manual... or whether the management educates its employees well. And no matter how fluffy people imagine human interactions to be... it is always an exchange of value.

On the other hand, the me focus" is primarily a "receive focus". Here's a tip for those prepping for job interviews. There are only two things in my mind. "Is he competent?"... and "will he get along with others and learn?" 2 for 2 is great... but if one attribute is so superior, we overlook the other. But here's the kicker. People who lack social skills and are "me focused" seem to be the least competent people while the humble you focused people seem to be the most talented. "I did this, I did that. I am this. I am that..." - we'd take bets on how these types would fare on the whiteboard. My heart would ache... but many people in that office seemed to enjoy sticking a pitchfork into "me nuts".

There's a lot ^here that pertains to pu.

Seduction happens on multiple levels. Yes escalation is important. And verbal communication skills are just as. But being a good listener is almost unique. Everyone feels a hit of disappointment when they receive an "Aham" as a reply to a subject they're either emotionally or intellectually invested in, and everyone feels a rush of pleasure when the other person is genuinely interested in what it is they have to say.

The short version: Everyone wants people to be genuinely interested in their bullshit. And they'll like you if you are.

I also recommend the "How to win friends and influence people" book. It's a timeless perspective changer and a testament to why letting her doing most of the talking while actually paying attention to what she's saying is a fundamentally important aptitude. Not just in pickup.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
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