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 Post subject: Journal: Little Panda
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:25 pm 
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Background information

Lived in Sweden for 18 years and just barely a year ago moved to Bosnia where I now study directing and film (I'm 20). I haven't had success with women up until a couple of months ago where I started experiencing crazy results. It finally 'clicked' for me and I connect with women more rapidly than I ever thought I was capable of.

This journal will focus on all areas in life and not just 'outer' or 'inner' game, since lifestyle in general is directly related to pick-up.

Onwards we go . . .

Goals: Lifestyle

~ Get an income by summer (as a mentor teaching locals to speak and write English).
1. Call the person who promised me this position by next Sunday, May 13th.

~ Learn how to 'mix drinks' and to cook. Very appreciated skillset to have.

1. Let my italian friend come over and show me how to cook certain dishes (Tuesday May 8th, 2012). Easier to learn when I have it demonstrated to me.
2. Get a cook-book/find recipes online by next weekend.

~ Find a physical activity to engage in. Going to the gym is WAY too expensive in this country . . .
1. Engage in running with my friend by next weekend (May 12th). Location already found.
2. Engage in swimming with my friend by next weekend (May 12th). Location already found.

~ Start eating healthier.
1. Ask around for a good diet/habit of eating by next Monday, May 14th.
2. Buy all the ingredients (after learning how to cook them) for the foods by Saturday, May 19th (2 weekends from now).
3. Make my first healthy dish (and start my healthy way of eating) in two weeks as well (Monday, May 21st).

Goals: Pick-up

Identify my flaws in game and exactly the areas I want to improve, by the upcoming Wednesday, May 10th.


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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:13 pm 
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Today I took the time to identify my 'flaws' or 'possible improvements' in terms of game.

Goals: Pick-up

~ Faster sexual escalation. I've noticed I take WAY too long in closing a set. My brain seems to require a little too much assurance.
1. Next time I'm in a set, I will attempt to close as soon as possible, whether it be a number, a make-out or a lay.

~ Cold approaches. Most of the sets I'm in, my wing introduces me to, or they open up to me, or they're part of my social circle (warm sets).

1. Next time I'm out with my wing, I will be the one to open sets a little more often, rather than being introduced.

~ Logistics. I have no battle plan.
1. Write a structured plan handling the logistical issues and having a basic idea of what I want my conversations with the girl to segway into, in order to close easier. (Due Monday, 14th).


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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 12:31 pm 
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This is a nice start with simple, easily identifiable goals. You've identified milestones but you didn't write down repetitive tasks. Eating "healthier", for example, isn't a one time shot but a lifestyle change. After you 'ask around' or read up on a topic, you'll want to schedule your changes on a calender. Habits of ANY KIND are incredibly difficult to change so you'll want to continue to re-educate yourself on a daily basis. This is the same reason why so many companies these days put education materials on posters on walls for people to see daily as opposed to just printing them on 'manuals' that nobody bothers to read in the first place.
Quote:
~ Faster sexual escalation. I've noticed I take WAY too long in closing a set. My brain seems to require a little too much assurance.
1. Next time I'm in a set, I will attempt to close as soon as possible, whether it be a number, a make-out or a lay.
Why? Are you entering a timed pick up contest?
Quote:
~ Cold approaches. Most of the sets I'm in, my wing introduces me to, or they open up to me, or they're part of my social circle (warm sets).
1. Next time I'm out with my wing, I will be the one to open sets a little more often, rather than being introduced.
EVERYBODY loves attention. Everybody loves to feel attractive, important, and smart enough to be engaged in conversation. Start MAKING conversations a habit for you. Make little chit chats with everybody.
Quote:
~ Logistics. I have no battle plan.
1. Write a structured plan handling the logistical issues and having a basic idea of what I want my conversations with the girl to segway into, in order to close easier.
What are some of the favorite things you like to do? Interesting people make interesting dates.


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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 5:05 pm 
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Quote:
This is a nice start with simple, easily identifiable goals. You've identified milestones but you didn't write down repetitive tasks. Eating "healthier", for example, isn't a one time shot but a lifestyle change. After you 'ask around' or read up on a topic, you'll want to schedule your changes on a calender.
So for example: Monday - Eat x-food. Tuesday - Eat y-food, etc etc . . . And basically have a specific meal for each day (healthy meal)?
Quote:

Why? Are you entering a timed pick up contest?
The more girls you meet from point A and end up closing at point B - the more stable your game is and you learn better, right? So why not learn how to reach from point A to B QUICKER, so that more girls can fit during that 1 hour and more interactions can occur?
Quote:
What are some of the favorite things you like to do? Interesting people make interesting dates.
~ Watching movies.
~ Photography/filming
~ Taking walks around town.
~ Biking (getting a bicycle soon).
~ Mixing drinks.
~ Holding debates/discussions with people.


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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:17 pm 
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So for example: Monday - Eat x-food. Tuesday - Eat y-food, etc etc . . . And basically have a specific meal for each day (healthy meal)?
It doesn't have to be that specific but it should be that 'regular'. You should try to focus on a weekly plan, rather than relying on "trying to do something by ___" (This would be the type of language used for describing a milestone such as "Lose 10 pounds by ____. Or "Learn how to make 10 different martinis by _____" )

In order to reach to those milestones, you'll need accomplish a few scheduled tasks.
Quote:
The more girls you meet from point A and end up closing at point B - the more stable your game is and you learn better, right? So why not learn how to reach from point A to B QUICKER, so that more girls can fit during that 1 hour and more interactions can occur?
So "escalating faster" isn't the goal but rather a strategy to game as many girls as possible in one hour. If your goal is to game as many girls as possible in a given time frame, then go ahead and attempt to close faster. If your goal is to increase your successful close rate, then it's a good idea to 'escalate' when the time is right . . . and close when the time is right.
Quote:
~ Watching movies.
~ Photography/filming
~ Taking walks around town.
~ Biking (getting a bicycle soon).
~ Mixing drinks.
~ Holding debates/discussions with people.
These are perfect foundations to create date ideas. Think 'specific and unique events'. A vivid description of one specific walking trail is far better than telling her, "I like to walk." Every topic can segway into date ideas from the things you've described.


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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 1:22 pm 
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UPDATE:

I was out last night with a friend. We were supposed to meet up with two girls for a drink. However, we had no idea it was one of the girls' birthday. We found out once 10 more people showed up, LOL.

It became really hard trying to game a specific girl, since all of them knew each other and had rapport already. They payed attention to us too, sure, but it seemed like it was miles away from becoming anything beyond basic formality in our interactions.

Nevertheless, I noticed some concrete changes that I need to work on. I didn't notice these things up until I came home and gave it a thought:

~ Even though I keep strong and determined eye-contact, I need to shift my eyes to ALL the people in the group when I'm talking about a subject and the people are looking at me. I do look at everybody when talking, but very rarely. I get so hooked up on watching a specific person in the eyes as I'm speaking, but that is a general mistake when you're in a group speaking to more than one person. In fact, it might even be rude?

~ I had no problem keeping basic conversation with the people, but I noticed that all those conversations quickly died out. Maybe I should write down a list of common formal conversations you always keep with people - and then write down ways of transitioning those conversations into something more interesting.

~ On kino: I noticed that I only start 'touching' a girl (talking about in general) once I start getting flirty and sexual with her. I completely lack the 'social kino' with people I just get to know (initial interaction). I don't know if this is a problem of any sort, but I guess it would be BETTER if I started using 'social kino' on people, because it creates additional comfort in the interaction and it becomes more personal . . .

CHECK-LIST:


- Called the person responsible for giving me a job. The job will be available this summer.

- Had a foreign friend come over and teach me how to make Sangria. Check! Wonderful drink.

- Downloaded apps and articles about mixing drinks and cooking. I now have an entire cook book in my iPhone.

- Compiled a list of items from the store that I should buy in order to start cooking healthy food starting next week.

- I've been sick lately, so I haven't engaged in any physical activity. However, my friend is a runner and swimmer and we made plans to go swimming and running on a regular basis. Also checked with another friend about a bicycle that he wants to sell. I might go there today and consider buying it.


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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 1:39 pm 
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Quote:
It doesn't have to be that specific but it should be that 'regular'. You should try to focus on a weekly plan, rather than relying on "trying to do something by ___" (This would be the type of language used for describing a milestone such as "Lose 10 pounds by ____. Or "Learn how to make 10 different martinis by _____" )

In order to reach to those milestones, you'll need accomplish a few scheduled tasks.
Weekly plan, hm . . . "Once/twice a week, eat x-dish"?

I downloaded a calendar on my phone which will help me organize things like this.

Quote:
So "escalating faster" isn't the goal but rather a strategy to game as many girls as possible in one hour. If your goal is to game as many girls as possible in a given time frame, then go ahead and attempt to close faster. If your goal is to increase your successful close rate, then it's a good idea to 'escalate' when the time is right . . . and close when the time is right.
My goal is to increase the success rate I have with each and every girl. Taking my time is the right thing to do I suppose. I was just worried that taking THAT long in order to close a set (really feels like I take unnecessarily long time . . .) made me feel limited, since I've literally never created initial interest, mid-gamed and closed more than 1 girl per night out.

I basically just go out, maybe get blown out a few times, find a girl that I create a spark with, we talk, I escalate, and then close. And it takes about an hour to do the whole thing.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
~ Watching movies.
~ Photography/filming
~ Taking walks around town.
~ Biking (getting a bicycle soon).
~ Mixing drinks.
~ Holding debates/discussions with people.
These are perfect foundations to create date ideas. Think 'specific and unique events'. A vivid description of one specific walking trail is far better than telling her, "I like to walk." Every topic can segway into date ideas from the things you've described.
Photography/filming: Easy to start talking about because it's my job. Then somehow segway into taking pictures together in nature or at the top of Sarajevo.

Taking walks around town: Easy to suggest shopping or going for ice-cream.

Biking: Limited, since she technically has to own a bicycle in order to join me. But doesn't mean she doesn't have one.

Mixing drinks: Start talking about night-life, leading the conversation into mixing drinks, asking if she's ever tried Sangria, end with somehow suggesting that we mix drinks at my house.

^Those are very basic ways that I could construct those date ideas. I suppose I have to sit down and write exactly how I would go about segwaying these topics into concrete ways of asking her out.

I've read your "I like you, you like me" thread, which will be my main source of inspiration to writing this.


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PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 11:57 am 
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UPDATE:

Alright, so I've been extremely busy lately with film shoots and whatnot and won't be able to do fulfill any goals whatsoever until next Monday.

However, these are the updated goals starting next week . . .

Goals: Lifestyle

~ Cooking.
1. Learn how to cook 1 simple meal during the next week.
2. Buy the necessary ingredients for cooking healthy food.

~ Mixing drinks.
1. Learn how to mix another drink during the next week.
2. Retrieve a list of simple drink recipes and write down a list of alcohol I need to buy.

Goals: Pick-up

~ Small talk. It's a good way to be warmed up for conversation at all times and practices your mind to improvise on the spot.
1. Basically small talk whenever I can. When buying groceries, when standing next to a person waiting for somebody, etc.

~ Conversation. I want to connect with women faster and in a more organized way than I have up until this point.
1. Write down a list of personal interests and topics which I find are interesting to talk about (like I did in the previous reply).
2. Not only talk about these topics the next time I'm on a 1 on 1 with a girl, but also find a way to segway each topic to a close and write it down.

All of the pick-up goals are also to be done during the next week.

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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 7:50 pm 
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Random #1

I've been thinking about the interactions I have with women. We talk, we connect, we start hanging out, we take it to the next level.

However, every time I go home, I think 'Alright . . . I know we had a great time together and we like each other . . . But if I'm to put my game into words, what would it say? What is it that I'm doing right? How am I doing it?'

If I could unlock ^that information, I feel that my results will be more consistent.

So I gave it a thought and decided to put it on paper, so here it goes . . .

Women need their emotions to be triggered. This can be done both verbally and non-verbally. So, say you interact with a woman for the first time . . . There will obviously be formalities. These formalities are generally seen as boring 'interview questions'.

Formal interactions

- Hi, my name is . . .
- Where are you from?
- What do you do?
- Ever been here before?

The above statements/questions are something we are all familiar with. However, what if we took those questions and added emotional elements to them . . . ?

Formal interaction

YOU: So what do you do?
HER: I'm a nurse working at the local hospital.
YOU: Oh cool.
HER: And you?
YOU: I'm an attorney.
HER: Ah.
YOU . . .

Basically, you keep asking each other questions leading to nowhere. We've all been there. Those questions give personal information about the other person, but they don't trigger any emotions. Here's how the interaction becomes more interesting:

Emotional formal interaction
YOU: So what do you do?
HER: I'm a nurse working at the local hospital.
YOU: Really . . . ? How does that make you feel?
HER: Oh you know . . . It's OK.
YOU: You don't seem very excited about it.
HER: Well, it wasn't really my decision to become a nurse. My family kind of pushed me into it.
YOU: I know the feeling, parents can have a strong influence on your life decisions.
HER: . . .

The above conversation took the formal part of the interaction and turned it emotional. Instead of taking the information she gives you and throwing it away, you're embracing it and also making her talk about what she's like as a person; what her values are, how she perceives the world, etc etc.

The conversation just turned from mechanical to personal. It's up to you how you want to steer it though (flirtatious, humorous, deep, romantic, etc).

I believe this may be one of the key ways to turning a boring conversation into something more meaningful. The opportunities are endless.

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 2:27 pm 
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UPDATE

Looks like I had more time on my hands than I thought.

Conversation-segways

Topic: Taking walks around the city.

ME: Have you tried the ice-cream at X?
HER: No, but I've heard it's really good.
ME: They have the best varieties of tastes in the country. What's your favorite flavor?
HER: Orange.
ME: You don't know what you're talking about until you try the red-bull taste.
HER: Oh?
ME: It's not acceptable going through life without trying the red-bull taste on ice-cream. In fact, we'll turn it into a bet . . . If you still like the orange taste better after trying the red-bull,- I'll pay for it. Otherwise, you pay. Deal? And no cheating.
HER: Ok.

This is just one of the examples. I feel that I want to go through one topic at a time until I get an idea of how to construct these properly - and then write the rest.

Meanwhile, here's the check-list from the last post . . .

CHECK-LIST

- Learned how to make risotto.
- Learned how to mix Caipiroska cocktails.
- Been doing small-talk with almost everyone. Feels like it makes my day better every time. This will be continuous from now on.

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Quote:
Random #1
Emotional formal interaction
YOU: So what do you do?
HER: I'm a nurse working at the local hospital.
YOU: Really . . . ? How does that make you feel?
HER: Oh you know . . . It's OK.
YOU: You don't seem very excited about it.
HER: Well, it wasn't really my decision to become a nurse. My family kind of pushed me into it.
YOU: I know the feeling, parents can have a strong influence on your life decisions.
HER: . . .
Chatting about work is boring.

Chatting about parents forcing their kids into a career path is depressing.

You don't have to be 100% positive all the time but try to avoid "negative emotions". If you tell her that she's excited, she will be. If you tell her that she's bored, she will be.

You've got the right idea. You're attempting to illicit her emotions. However, you're attempting to trigger her emotional responses by BEING logical. The only thing you really need to be logical about is the 'safety net'. Either through common friends, histories, passions, you do need to establish yourself as a non-crazy weirdo. If you have done this, then you can pretty much let things fly.

Better than "you don't seem very excited," would have been "Is it exciting to poke and prod patients with sharp objects?" . . .or "So you get to see a lot of naked guys?"... "Why not? You should tell them, 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to take your pants off before I check your heart pressure. That's the protocol.'"

The goal is to raise her emotional response, not necessarily your own. Think of yourself as the guide, and her, the tourist. With your example of "I like you, you like me," you're excited and you challenged the girl to a taste test. It's better to get her 'excited' enough to CHALLENGE YOU. The only thing you'd do then is to verbalize the actual meeting and event. This is the difference between your version and the version that was shown in "I like you, you like me."


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:46 pm 
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Kasabi, you have no idea how helpful your latest reply was . . . Really made me come to some realizations that I logically see in everyday life, but never really extracted beyond the back of my mind.

Conversation segway #2:

Photography . . . Will be used once I spot something photogenic about the girl. And the subject itself will be introduced right after the formal "what do you do" question.

HER: So basically you're familiar with photography and filming?
ME: Yes, and you know . . . You're very fashionable with your clothes.
HER: Thanks.
ME: You pick the colors good and it makes your eyes stand out. It would look REALLY good on picture.
HER: Well maybe we can take some pictures one day.
ME: Sure, if you have the will . . . and the money.
HER: LOL I have to pay?
ME: Fine, I'll let the first one be for free. What are you doing this Saturday?
HER: I don't know.
ME: Let's go to x-location and take a few shots. The view is absolutely magnificent.
HER: Yes/No.

Conversation segway #3:


Mixing drinks . . . Topic can be introduced almost anytime (if she's drinking something, if we talk about general interests and hobbies, etc).

ME: What's your favorite drink?
HER: Bloody Mary.
ME: Have you tried the Sangria?
HER: No.
ME: Basically, it's a drink made of alcohol and fruits of your own choice. I learned a special home-recipe originating from a small village in Spain. Do you like tropical fruits or citrus fruits better?
HER: Citrus.
ME: You get the fruits of your choice, I'll get the alcohol.
HER: Yes/No.

Kasabi: In the first example, I baited her into making the date her idea, as you suggested . . . However, it feels kind of strange. What if she doesn't bait? Should you always attempt to make her bait instead of you asking it out directly? Because I've always directly asked girls out. Look at the second example . . . That's sort of how I do it every time (the style of it, not the actual example).

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:33 pm 
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I like where you are going with this Little Panda, in the sense of trying to raise women's emotions. I wish I could offer up some advice, but seeing how I am too am trying to become more effective at this, I am afraid I cannot.

Right now I am attempting to try to elicit "Wow, this guy really understands me" Emotion from people as a whole, not sure if that is exactly the same goal as you, but I'll be following your journal to see if I can learn a thing or two.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:15 pm 
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Quote:
I like where you are going with this Little Panda, in the sense of trying to raise women's emotions. I wish I could offer up some advice, but seeing how I am too am trying to become more effective at this, I am afraid I cannot.

Right now I am attempting to try to elicit "Wow, this guy really understands me" Emotion from people as a whole, not sure if that is exactly the same goal as you, but I'll be following your journal to see if I can learn a thing or two.
Not really my goal, since I've somehow since childhood always been a natural at eliciting that exact emotion (could depend on the fact that I always got friendzoned in the early days).

However, the concrete emotions I'm trying to elicit in a woman is 'spontaneous behavior', 'excitement' and taking out the adventurous side of her, seeming that all of those emotions mentioned are exactly what I'm looking for in a woman (well at least, a part of it).

I DO manage to elicit those emotions though, but every time I do, and every time I pick up a woman - I never really understand the ENTIRE concept of how I did it, I just sort of have a 90 % idea of it. And I don't like when things are not organized and precise in my life (which is probably why my profession suits me so well, LOL).

That's really the aim of my journal. To organize my whole life, including the pick-up side of it, and to walk the streets of this planet knowing exactly what I want in life at all times . . . and understanding that I'm on my way of retrieving it all.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:11 pm 
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I saw a FR of yours a while back. You already know how to do all of this but I think you're trying to benchmark the "I like you, you like me" example too much. The only reason why that particular conversation flowed the way it did is because a forum member and I worked on it together during a chat; it was specific to his situation and that girl. The point of that thread is to "demonstrate" your interest and your desire to go out with a girl instead of "telling" her your interest and your desire to go out with a girl. The point is to treat the girl as if she is already your girlfriend.

You don't tell a girl you've been going out with for 6 months, "I like you. Can I take you out to dinner?" No. . . "Going out" with your girlfriend is standard protocol. And you naturally demonstrate your attraction for her. . . How?

You demonstrate physical attraction.
You get her gifts once in a while.
You do in fact 'tell her' that you are attracted through language.
You spend time with her.
You do her "favors".
You make her smile and laugh.
Sometimes you put her in her place. Etc . . .

^Not one is necessarily better than the other but there should be some balance right? If you NEVER spend time with your girlfriend but you tell her every day, "I love you, I love you." - Does this make sense? If you never tell her that you're attracted to her but you come around to screw her every day, does this make sense? If you never demonstrate physical attraction but you want to spend 'quality time' with her all the time, does this make sense? You'll see on this forum that guys will often grab one component of the 'relationship dynamic' and run with it. Some guys do the horny guy act. Others will stand there and tell a girl "I like you, I like you." 10 different ways. The idea is to DEMONSTRATE that positive relationship dynamic as if you're already boyfriend/girlfriends. Your FR from a few weeks ago already shows that you can do this. In that instance, you teased, you joked, you challenged, you flirted. . . You demonstrated attraction. These are all things people who are already in a relationship do with one another.

PU isn't rocket science; plenty guys do well in spite of themselves. . . meaning, they might get laid once in a while but the girls could be thinking, "He's kinda rough around the edges but cute enough," or "Shit, this kid is persistent."

Based on what I read in your FR, I'm guessing that you've probably already experienced better reactions from girls. . . they tell their friends, "I don't know . . . we just click!" "We're meant for each other." "It's as if we knew each other forever." Girls you sleep with for two nights tell all her friends that "you're dating". This is the difference.

Some comments related and unrelated to 'demonstration':
Quote:
HER: So basically you're familiar with photography and filming?
ME: Yes, and you know . . . You're very fashionable with your clothes.
"Yes" can lead to one of two reactions. 1. He's full of himself. Or 2. OK, he's familiar with photography. Neither reaction raises excitement or interest in the topic. Why not, "I did a few weddings and (glamor shots, sporting events, etc . . ) It's a hobby. . ."

If she's talkative, she asks a million questions. If she's not talkative she goes, "wow".
Quote:
HER: Thanks.
ME: You pick the colors good and it makes your eyes stand out. It would look REALLY good on picture.
^This is you trying to get her excited by getting excited yourself. A simple, "You'd look great in a _____ (some location?) photo." Whether she goes, "I don't know. No way. Really." - it's all the same isn't it? And when it isn't some sort of 'silly contest", no need to get that excited about it. It's nothing. . . you do photo shoots all the time. She's the one who is excited. . . just happily tell her, "Yeah, pick a Saturday. We'll do it."

I've had cocktail parties in the past but in general, it doesn't make great first date invites. Far better to go out for cocktails. If you want to do it at home. keep a little wet bar with all your cocktail paraphernalia out in plain view.


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