Hey fellow Puas!

I will try to make it short. I don't trust my girlfriend of one year, completely. I think a lot of it comes from my last girlfriend who cheated on me, which have made me insecure and a bit neurotic. As I know that what you fear you attract I would like to get this feeling of not trusting her, eliminated.

There have however been a few instances. Way way back five years ago, we were on a festival as and among friends. She got really drunk and started hitting on me even though she had a boyfriend. I stopped it but it would have gone further if i hadn't. So I am pretty sure she has the capability of cheating even though she says that she has never cheated on her boyfriends.We have discussed the incident and she says that she is so embarrased but that it is also 5 years ago and things have changed (she is 24, I am 25). Also, she got insecure at a point because I said something and at the party later that night, she danced closed with another dude, while I was close by. Later she admitted that she did it to make me jalous but that she didn't meant anything with it other than that.

Then we have hit a rough patch these couple of weeks, because I decided to drop a holiday with her, because I got offered my dreamjob. She responded by pulling back, but we talked it over last night and she was all over me. However, during the night she got a call from a co-worker from her previous job. I asked her this morning if she found out why he had called and she said it was just a pocket dile - I don't believe that for a second.

Overall I don't trust her but she is such a great girl and when things are great, everything is amazing. However, when things are bad, I have seen tendencies to flirt/contact other guys.

My gut says to run like crazy but on the other hand she is a really great girl and I am sure she has not cheated on me. She is all over me and talks about moving in together and sex is amazing and plentyfull.

It's kind of stupid even to worry because I am a great catch myself. I have control over my professionel life, have a lot of good friends, and I am good looking with a nice sense of humor. So plenty of girls is ready to hit me if something happens. Sometimes this also makes my girlfriend insecure and then she pulls back and do this kind of shit to see if I really want her. I am completely interested in my girlfriend and only want her.

Also facts:
Her friends are all in love with me and says I am a great guy, so I have support from them
Her family loves me
She is 97% of the time all over me


My question is:
1) Should i Run? - I am not feeling like this is something I want to do.
2) Is it in any way possible to be able to trust her?
3) Have do I talk with her about without sounding too insecure and neurotic?

This is not about trusting her, it's about trusting yourself.

First of all, you can't live in the present through the prism of the past. Learning from past mistakes is one thing, but letting one bad experience dictate your future is a highly defeatist characteristic.

Personally I think doing shit like dancing close to someone else just to make you jealous is incrimination stupid. What the fuck are we? 16? Anyway, that's besides the point.
Regardless of that, your fear of being cheated on is irrational. That's not something that just happens, entirely random.

To me, it seems that you don't think you're good enough for her. Because realistically speaking, if you're her best options, what reason does she have to cheat?
And if the answer to that question is "whenever we fight she starts messaging her ex" then why the fuck are you making a girlfriend out of her?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

She has a vagina, so yes she has that ability. There's nothing you can do to prevent, or stop her if she sets that into action. So why worry about what you can't control. Control the things you can. Like your own insecurities.

A woman's natural defense, like a squids ink, is manipulation. It's default. They mostly don't even know they are doing it.
See.

Jealousy to them isn't just an emotion, it's a fucking tool, just a hammer, it can build closeness, or bring down a whole bunch of hurt.
You reacted exactly like she knew you would.

Your doing it now.

If you dump her now, she's free to fuck whoever she wants, and guess who's fault that will be?

Hint - Not her's.

But if the shoe were to be on the other foot....
If she thought there were any chance she would lose you....she wouldn't fucking have time to cheat.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

1 - You can't judge a person how they were 5 years ago. You were also different as well back then hitting on a chick with a bf

2 - Don't move in with her !! It's will be very difficult and awkward to ask her to move out if things go south.
" And you seem to be the type of a guy who will rationalize all her actions. "

3 - Get to know her better for a few more months. And observe her behavior very carefully.

If you see any red flags or suspect anything fishy. Sit down and tell her. Make it sound that you expect some maturity in the relationship and these foolish things she does will grow you'll apart, but don't accuse her directly for talking/meeting guys or whatever things you're not comfortable with.
Because women never like to accept their mistakes. She will make you sound as an over possessive bf and put you at fault.

She is not the last woman in this world. Everyone is replaceable. Be a man and live like one !
Don't analyze whether she is a catch for you. And how her friends and parents love you. It all can change within seconds.

Cheers

"I am not enough."

Work on it.