I recently met a single mum off Tinder who is a teacher. I did remember reading a lot advice here about steering clear from single mothers unless it's a one night stand or no strings attached. Anyway we both live in different cities I am 27 and she is 29.

So anyway we matched! She spoke to me first! - the conversation flowed really well, took her number. We spoke all night on SPAM. She told me I was very attractive and even said "isnt it weird how you can click with someone you have never met." - Basically put she was into me. We arranged to meet for a date a few days later (Saturday) She rode a train to MY city for drinks. She was quite attractive, really fun, sexy and playful. She spent the night teasing me, I lost at pool because she would touch me and rub up against me! The date went really well - she even came straight to mine and left the following morning.

When she got home we spoke that night. She pulled me on the fact I made her pay for a few drinks even though I bought alot more. She had to pay £20 train fare (+£10 parking) so overall it evened out. I did feel like an idiot that I never considered her travel fees but the fact was we both connected and had a great time. Since then she has just changed alot - like sort of snappy with me. I sort of want to offer to take her out again and make it upto her but then I might sound like more of a noob!

She told me that a girl just wants to feel special if I would of paid all the way then I would of gotten a second date maybe. I just sort of feel she prioritises money over personality. I have not spoken to her for near a week so when I do I was wondering if there's something I can do to re attract her maybe even just just be forward?

Well, some women are very traditional.

If this is what she prioritizes and this is what you don't, then it will probably not work out in the long run.
But if you are a traditional man and willing to foot the bill for most dates, then go out, invite her out.

But like I said, if you are not up for this traditional pay for date thing, do not bother pursuing her for a long term relationship.

She even took a train to come to you, you could've done a bit more.

She rode a train. Fuck sake you could've at least taken care of her drinks.

Have some common sense.

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I know guys. I was in the wrong. I will just move on and learn.

You could drop a casual "Hey, I'm going to your city next week cause I have a meeting (or some other activity) in the morning, lets catch in the afternoon" and see how it goes.

You should say that you didn't want to be rude but you have a policy of not paying for women because you don't like the feeling of buying them, but underline she was very nice to come to your city and you regretted not being more sporty about your rule.

Wow that's a very good point man. I should say that! I don't like buying drinks because it feels like I am buying them.

I feel like an idiot though, considering she paid £30 in train fair/parking. I was actually thinking of offering to bank transfer £20 and see if I can take it from there. That's probably AFC.

It's a hard one really. I liked this girl for her personality. I have already met another chick and smashed her but it doesn't feel the same.

Learn to cut your losses. It's over.

You fucked up by not paying a first date to begin with. Then multiply that by 10 once you consider the fact that she rode a train to see you in the first place. You can hardly draw the conclusion that she prioritizes money over personality given that she spent money to expose herself to your personality.

And personality-wise you didn't really shine considering it would've been a gesture of simple courtesy to handle her drinks.
Pay first dates regardless of whether or not she puts in extra effort like in this case. Nobody wants to date a cheap skate and you can be damn sure that if the girl has any character she will make it up to you on the next date by either handling the check herself or in other ways.

That's advice for future reference.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Do you think thats exactly what she wants? Im surprised by some of the responses to be honest.

Now, in your opinion why should you have paid for everything? including her train expenses? Because she's a woman. has a vagina, and is bringing what to the interaction that you aren't equally bringing? Theres nothing wrong with treating someone out, but lets no be ridicules here. She agreed to come, agreed to pay for the drinks that she did, and agreed to go home with you, but then wants to bitch about it in retrospect? She's just giving you shit. If its not this, its something else. Im more so surprised that you accepted that behavior from her and didn't check her on it. She took the train, and you paid for the "MAJORITY" of the drinks. You also paid for the pool. I believe that makes you guys square.

Why is it you want to go out with her again? Taking all of this into consideration... Because you feel like you didn't paid her enough for her time the first date? How much is your time worth? Its all about value man. Why are we subject to this tradition that a man should pay for everything in a world in which we're both making money. Now if she couldn't afford it that's another thing. But if a woman can afford to contribute(which she clearly could) she will have to contribute. Im not following tradition over logic. When you pay for everything(tradition aside) what you're saying is we are not equal because I'm paying for your time. Im not for women getting the best of both worlds out here. You wanted to ability to make money, now you got it, so take on some of the responsibilities men had to take on at the time you couldn't make money.

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This woman has already labeled you as cheap. First impressions make a big difference for many women, so just move on.

No, I don't think transferring $20 to her account will do any good either.

It seems to me she spent way more effort than you did on the date.

Eddie, nobody is saying he should have paid for her train expenses.

Just move on.

What's bad in my advice?

Man, you like her, nothing stops you from being sincere and apologizing and wanting to make up for it.

If it goes well, it goes, if not, it won't.

Can't see the problem in texting her.

lol.

as cheap as i am, i'll willing to pay for drinks. and keep in mind she doesnt have to drunk enough to get drunk. a few drinks then leave.

anyways if you got one, you could get more

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If I was ya man, baby, you'd
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another thing, i've noticed that when a woman pays for her portion of the bill whether by request or by will, there's
a chance things wont go favourable for you.

the best, but sometimes harder thing to do is to set a sexually frame before the meet. so you'll have a good idea what's going on before yoy spend

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

I used to pay for drinks. The general PUA advice though is to split everythingbecause paying for everything lowers your value.

In future I will consider travel expensives.

Let's say in the future I meet someone else and there's little to no travel cost. I usually pay for the first round, then she second, etc. I usually buyou the buy the majority of drinks when I am getting somewhere with her.

How do you guys handle these dates?

there might not be any gray areas when it comes to womem paying. in a relationship, they will sometimes take the bill. couples sometime take turns paying .

i could suggest maybe not getting so many rounds, try to go somewhere private, like home away from spending.

how much liquor does a woman neeed before she knows she gotta give it up

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right