giving off the wrong intentions



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 7:35 am 
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Hey guys, I need some quick advice here. I've been seeing this Indian girl, haven't slept with her or kissed her. I could have, but the thing is she's fallen for me and is expecting an LTR. But that's not what I'm looking for. Since the beginning I've been trying to subtly hint that I don't want LTR, but apparently I didn't do well enough.

I'll see her tonight and tomorrow for dancing events, and I know she's expecting for me to make the move while I'm only looking for a one night stand. But now that's definitely off the table.

So first question, how do I tell her I'm not interested without hurting her feelings? Should I just tell her outright I'm not looking for this kind of relationship?

Second questions, how can I get across to girls that I'm looking for a fling and not something serious? And make it work?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 7:38 am 
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How do you know she wants a LTR?

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 8:08 am 
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From a mutual friend to whom she confessed. It's a reliable source.

Edit: and also from her general behavior towards me. The other day, she was a little pissed because I didn't send her a message to say good morning...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 8:32 am 
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You'd sign the paper work to buy a car before you even got to see what the inside looks like?

Man.... What s push over.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:25 am 
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You'd sign the paper work to buy a car before you even got to see what the inside looks like?

Man.... What s push over.
Pretty much this.

Relationships are not a deal you just sign without even knowing what you're getting lol. It's something you naturally evolve into - or don't - after you spend time and intimacy with someone.
That's what I do. I'm never "looking" for one thing or the either and I sure as hell don't buy the car before a test drive.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:35 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
You'd sign the paper work to buy a car before you even got to see what the inside looks like?

Man.... What s push over.
Pretty much this.

Relationships are not a deal you just sign without even knowing what you're getting lol. It's something you naturally evolve into - or don't - after you spend time and intimacy with someone.
That's what I do. I'm never "looking" for one thing or the either and I sure as hell don't buy the car before a test drive.
Maybe my question wasn't clear. I don't want a relationship, but she thinks she's getting one. How to I tell her off gently knowing that I'm seeing her tonight during a dancing event?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:29 am 
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So you didn't tell her because you were afraid that if you were honest and upfront with her that it would ruin your chances of actually scoring? Well contrary to popular belief, taking that approach will score you a lot more lays and save you a lot more wasted time than pretending you're looking for something that you're actually not.

I personally don't even bring it up until a woman asks. I don't feel a reason to, I'm not just going to go around assuming that she's looking to marry me and have babies. However, the moment a woman hints in anyway(i.e. asking me how many other women I'm speaking to) or asks me what I'm looking for I immediately make it clear. I'm always polite and gentle about it though.

A woman is going to draw conclusions based off how you treat her though.. If you take her out on 5 dates, talk to her on the phone and text her all day everyday she's going to naturally assume that investing your time into her is something that you're willing to do.

Now in your situation just find a moment to inject " Hey, I just want to make something clear really quickly, because i see the direction this is going...." followed up by letting her know you're not long term interested. This may or may not screw your chances because you've already gave another impression, but its what you want and its the right thing to do. So give it a shot.. Theres always more, and as long as you know that, you'll always have.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:36 am 
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Quote:
So you didn't tell her because you were afraid that if you were honest and upfront with her that it would ruin your chances of actually scoring? Well contrary to popular belief, taking that approach will score you a lot more lays and save you a lot more wasted time than pretending you're looking for something that you're actually not.

I personally don't even bring it up until a woman asks. I don't feel a reason to, I'm not just going to go around assuming that she's looking to marry me and have babies. However, the moment a woman hints in anyway(i.e. asking me how many other women I'm speaking to) or asks me what I'm looking for I immediately make it clear. I'm always polite and gentle about it though.

A woman is going to draw conclusions based off how you treat her though.. If you take her out on 5 dates, talk to her on the phone and text her all day everyday she's going to naturally assume that investing your time into her is something that you're willing to do.

Now in your situation just find a moment to inject " Hey, I just want to make something clear really quickly, because i see the direction this is going...." followed up by letting her know you're not long term interested. This may or may not screw your chances because you've already gave another impression, but its what you want and its the right thing to do. So give it a shot.. Theres always more, and as long as you know that, you'll always have.
I wasn't afraid, I completely assume my position, and I thought I had been clear about my intentions, but apparently it was too subtle. And she never asked either.

I should probably change my general vibe and be more straightforward in my actions. I'll try your advice and see how it goes.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:43 am 
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Quote:
Hey guys, I need some quick advice here. I've been seeing this Indian girl, haven't slept with her or kissed her. I could have, but the thing is she's fallen for me and is expecting an LTR. But that's not what I'm looking for. Since the beginning I've been trying to subtly hint that I don't want LTR, but apparently I didn't do well enough.

I'll see her tonight and tomorrow for dancing events, and I know she's expecting for me to make the move while I'm only looking for a one night stand. But now that's definitely off the table.

So first question, how do I tell her I'm not interested without hurting her feelings? Should I just tell her outright I'm not looking for this kind of relationship?

Second questions, how can I get across to girls that I'm looking for a fling and not something serious? And make it work?
If you had been direct and gone for the fling early, she wont have had chance to "fall in love with you."

Why didnt you make a move from the beginning?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:44 am 
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Your question was clear. I was just underlining the ridiculousness of what she wants.

My honest advice is don't complicate your life with women that are not mature enough to handle simple things. You haven't even kissed her and she's thinking relationship? I can already see the drama.

Eddie's right. Inject your intentions and see what happens. Just don't hold your breath about it.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


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