So was at a party last weekend.

Got speaking to this awesome girl, really pretty, really intelligent (she's a surgeon :O ) but quite shy.

I added her on Facebook last sunday. After a few days she hadn't accepted, so I messaged a mutual friend and said something like "Hey get HB to add me I want to woo her!"

She only just accepted.

I want to open and get to know her better and take her for a date but really don't want to mess it up. What's a good opener to convey interest without looking like a needy little bitch?

I wouldn't be much help to you if I didn't point out the absurdity in meeting someone in person and then running to Facebook to try to "woo" her.

Women will spend time talking to you hoping that you will express interest and then later on, after she had given up on the thought, be turned off by the guy because he didn't step up in the moment now that he has internet courage

Point is, if she is like most attractive women then you're opener isn't going to matter. You just have to be ready to except that you lost the momentum of being in the moment. Just start off light and don't wait too long to ask her out.

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I hope you take this with a positive attitude. You ARE a needy little bitch. Think about it. This is JUST ANOTHER GIRL. Not a big deal. You just met her, haven't even gone far, and she is up on a pedestal already, and you are WAY TOO EXCITED.

RELAX, be ALPHA, be yourself, and all your questions will be answered.

On a practical note, surgeons are pretty busy and have crazy schedules. This can kill date schedules. Know that going in. On the flip side, a surgeon can be a great FB if you get to that point and can do it at crazy times, when she is available. Shy or not, she has needs.

Oh, and while you are in a holding pattern with her, start looking for the next, BETTER girl.

Thanks guys,

Went with this:

Hey HB had to add you I thought you looked really cute at (HB friends party) and wanted to get to know you better!

No response yet - Looks like your right and I've killed it before it started!

Like Jack stated. Quit being a pussy and ask her out to her face.

A great Facebook opener is:

You - i'm confused...
Her- ???
You - Well, I have been online for 4 mins now and you STILL haven't said hi yet, what gives??

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One thing you really need to understand man, is that it's kind of late for you to try to woo her after
you had your chance to do it in person - and didn't have the courage to do it.

Remember that if you don't do it live, adding her on fb will not help, or will actually have the OPPOSITE
effect.

I really think the game is over for you with this girl, in the future, gather up more courage to speak
up and "woo" her when you have your chance.

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I'm not saying you should use lines/canned openers just for the sake of coming across more interesting and fun, I am encouraging you to be more interesting and fun. Women thrive on emotion and you need to be able to spark it in any given situation, even with something as trivial as a facebook conversation.

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Thanks for the advice guys - all of which I agree with.

What's weird is the actual first interaction was really good, we were having fun, laughing, swapping stories and some light kino (our knees were kind of touching during the whole conversation and she was obviously comfortable with that) I couldn't isolate her because we were at a house party, but we had a decent interaction.

When I left she gave me a solid hug and I was the first to pull away - it all seemed like it was going well. Was that the point where I should have said "before I go whats your number?"

How would you have set this up to get the date in such a short time, I spent maybe 30 minutes talking to her.

You had good interaction at the party. A bit of a mistake to not have moved faster. But mistakes happen. You don't just shrivel up and die when you make one. You keep at it until it really goes cold. Decent message. Now keep looking for more girls and don't get obsessed with this one.

Cheers bro, definately not obssesed but would love to go on a date. I have a feeling she isn't going to respond to this message, she would have done it by now. As a last ditch effort what are my options?

Eff it. You never built attraction. So it's just a stab in the dark at this point. On to the next. Pointers: Never compliment a girls physical looks until she's already yours. 2. Cold reads are the real deal 3. You've got to get in front of her again, Social media pickup doesn't work half as well as face to face

Take your penis out of cold reads, would you...

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The thing is you moved backwards OP.

You had her in a face to face conversation and you downgraded that to a facebook conversation.
At the very least get a number next time.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I've never really though of it as downgrading but when put like that it makes alot of sense.

"the only way is up" method
1. Dating App (POF Tinder ETC)
2. Social Media (Insta, Facebook etc)
3. Texting
4. Call
5. Facetime or SPAM
6. Face to face

Never down-grade! I started at a 6 and went way back down to a 2.

Hence, my original response to your post.

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