a guy who calls himself a tinder expert was helping me set up a profile. so he tries to make me look cool by putting things like "I like to travel"
But the problem is, I don't like to travel.

To me, the profile looked impressive, like if I was a straight woman, I would fuck me. but after he left, I changed everything he wrote to something more sincere. so far no girls.

It's not that I have a ethical problem with lying, it's just that I don't think I can get away with it. let's say on online profiles I come off as this really confident guy who likes to travel, etc. But on the first meeting, wouldn't the girl figure out I am completely different than what I said in my profile? or can I fake my way through an entire relationship without the girl knowing?

another problem with lying is, what if a girl who would like the "real" you sees your profile and skips you because she doesn't like the "upgraded" you? what I mean is this: what if a girl likes guys who have never traveled and she would like the real me, except that I put "I travel a lot" in my profile? you're missing out on compatibility there.

where do you draw the line between being yourself and lying? do you just polish the truth a little? how many "white" lies can you tell? How do you know when it's better to lie and when it's better to "just be yourself"?

I stopped reading by the second paragraph. You get swiped based on your pictures, not your description. A good description will most likely get you "more" swipes, but if you're getting none, the pics are your problem.

Also no. Don't fake tinder, don't fake you, don't fake nothing.

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ok, but what about some other apps where your description does matter?
how do you know when to lie and when to tell the truth?
I hate the expression "just be yourself"...so if I still live with my parents and I spend my time watching porn all day, I tell them that?
Forget apps. In the real world, how do you know when to lie and when to tell the truth? For example, she asks "have you ever traveled to another country?" do I say "no, I am a boring guy who never travels"? or do I tell them a lie?

Write down all the things you think you'd have to lie about.... Then fix them. Do guys ever think that maybe the reason they have a hard time getting women is because they've never done anything and they live at home with parents? Fix them. Then you don't have to lie and you can be yourself. Get it

Bart...this says so much about you. You know you need to get your shit together so you don't have to lie about silly stuff.

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I did an experiment about 3 years back in which I made a bunch of profiles saying a few different things with all the same pictures just to see what the responses would be like.

Ended up in a relationship with the girl of my dreams at the time, but everything she knew about me was from a profile I wrote that wasn't true. Well all know how that turned out. I wrote an article about it if you're interested, but the pictures are definitely more important that the description. The description is just a boost to the pictures. If you only have one good photo, use one and just write up a creative profile. I had a guy do that who had lots of success with it.

And if its not tinder, a good opener can take you a long way. Find one good opener and spam it.

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Eddie, I would be interested in the article.

Then your focus should be on getting your shit together, not getting women.
I don't lie about who I am. I don't have to.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

And if it is Tinder?

I'd have to agree with everyone who is encouraging you to be yourself. You can only lie for so long before you get caught, and then you're gonna feel stupid and even more insecure than you did before you lied. If being yourself seems like not enough, then maybe you should think about how to build your sense of self, identity and self esteem. I mean, dude, the fact that YOU are describing YOURSELF as a boring guy might be part of the problem. If you don't like to travel, then you don't like to travel. There are plenty of girls who don't give a shit about traveling. But what are things that you DO like to do? If you don't know, or can't think of anything, then take this time to find out.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone, which from everything you said, sounds like your room at your parents house in front of your phone or computer, and GO OUT in the world! Try something you would never do normally, join a sports team, start boxing or doing martial arts, take an improv class, take up carpentry or a musical instrument (preferably not trumpet or trombone), do something creative (these might also help you build your social skills and make you stronger and more outgoing), whatever it is, do something that will make you grow as a person and also make you more interesting to yourself first, and then to others. Yes, good photos help, but if you wanna get beyond a first date, a good photo isn't gonna take you there. Girls like guys who have passion and ambition and who are also physically active in some way. It doesn't have to be travel, but it's gotta be something.

Also, maybe instead of focusing all of your energy on how to make girls like you and changing yourself to find a girl etc etc... start thinking about what kind of girls you want for yourself (beyond being hot or something related to their physical appearance). What are the qualities in girls that you like? What kinds of girls are you attracted to (sporty, book smart, artistic, etc)? This might also help you gain more understanding into yourself.

And if you're concerned that your profile photo isn't enough to attract a girl, then try going on a different dating website, like okcupid, that emphasizes interests, personality and hobbies and helps match people according to that stuff rather than just looks.

Good luck bro! Hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions and keep us posted.

The travel thing was just an example. What I was trying to say is I have nothing interesting going on. my life consists of working and sleeping.

so you say I should go out more and do different things. I tried taking acting classes at a community college. I took 2 semesters. not only did it not help, it made my social anxiety worse. but I think I would like improv, I really do. or maybe I should do boxing, maybe that will turn me into a man.

I don't know what kind of girls I like because I haven't interacted with enough girls. I don't even know what you mean. I put all girls in one group: girls. it's like me showing you 10 boxes of cheerios cereal and asking you which one you like more. they all look the same. but I think I don't like shy girls because if she is not gonna talk and I am not gonna talk, it will get nowhere. I used to think I'd like nerdy or smart girls until I met one. she had a PhD in neuroscience. couldn't stand her. However, I also don't like stupid girls. I don't think you can say "I like this type of girl and not that type of girl" it's about clicking with someone.

I can tell you one thing for sure, I cant fake interest. If I am not legitimately interested in getting to know a girl, it will show. Off the top of my head, I can think of only 2 times that I was ever legitimately interested in getting to know a girl that I met. one was an electrical engineer and the other worked at the mall (I didn't know at the time she worked at the mall because I met her on her way to the mall.) these were the only times I felt a connection and felt like there was a mutual understanding between us. I felt like they understood me. when I flirted with them, they understood I was flirting and they responded back. most girls are dumb and they dont get it. Also, most of the time when I see a girl, I am not interested in getting to know her as a person. I am not curious where she went to school. I am not curious where she grew up. I am not curious how much she likes her job. But you know, maybe that's because I don't approach enough girls. or maybe that's because they act bitchy and that causes my disinterest.

Last time I tried okcupid it was dead. The quality of girls there sucks, it's very rare to find someone who is not ugly, and even when I messaged 20 girls they didn't ever respond or they stopped responding after like 2 messages. but this was a long time ago, maybe things have changed now.

I'm not judging you cos I've been there, but it's like you can't see your complete cockishness as a factor in anything that's happening to you. At least give them the credit of being Shreddies, Coco Pops, Muesli etc.

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Ok, let's break this down. First off:
Start by changing this. Just change it. No excuses. We all have choices, so choose to change it, even if it means sacrificing or compromising something. If you're not interested in your life, how do you expect others to be interested?
Good for you for trying something different, like acting classes. That just made you more interesting to me. So you didn't like it? Now you know and you learned something more about yourself. Try something else, and keep trying until you find the thing you like.
No, boxing won't turn you into a man. Dude, it sounds like you have a lot more to do than just boxing to turn you into a man, such as developing your interests and identity, and seeing girls as more than just the same box of cheerios. That's possibly the worst analogy I've ever heard btw. No wonder you're not getting pussy.
What boxing will do is make you stronger, healthier and probably happier. You also might make friends in the process. All of this will ultimately make you a more interesting and attractive person.
This attitude is probably one of your biggest problems. CHANGE IT. Just change it. Girls can feel when you don't respect them or care to see them as unique, special or human for that matter, and that is a major, MAJOR turn off. No wonder girls act like bitches to you. How would you feel if someone compared you to a fucking cereal box? Bro, CHANGE THIS. If you need help or don't know how. Let me know. Also, interact with more girls. If hot girls intimidate you, then interact with girls who you feel comfortable with and just get to know them. It doesn't have to be for the purposes of having sex or dating. Just practice talking to girls and find out about them. There has gotta be at least one girl in your life that you feel comfortable talking to. Find her, talk to her, ask her, be humble ask questions and actually listen.
SEE ABOVE. If you're not interested or curious in getting to know a girl, then how the fuck do you expect anyone to be interested in getting to know you? Girls LOVE it when you ask them questions and are genuinely interested in who they are. This is a MAJOR turn on. My sister tells me that if she goes on a date with a guy who doesn't ask her questions or doesn't seem to be interested in what she's saying, then that's a dealbreaker, no matter how good looking he is. Chances are, when you actually start taking an interest, asking questions and paying attention, you will learn something. So CHANGE THIS attitude ASAP.
Hmmm.. I think you might be onto something here. This might be the first insightful thing you've said. Maybe you should ask why they act bitchy to you? Could it be because of EVERYTHING you said about how you view girls?? Could it be that you have little self-confidence or personal interests and girls can feel that and don't want to be near that?

Sit down, ask yourself some hard questions man. Why are you really not interested in getting to know girls? Does this apply to only girls, or everyone and everything in your life? If it just applies to girls, then you got some serious growing up to do. It's likely that you won't have any luck with woman and that girls will continue to act bitchy to you until you really take responsibility for this and start to change it.
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Ummm.. what okcupid are you on? Do you live in a city with 10 people? Like anything there's gonna be some attractive people and some that aren't. What kind of messages are you sending them? If it's just "hey, what's up?", then no, you're not gonna get a response. If you're not asking them questions or are curious about getting to know them (which it sounds like you aren't), then yes, they will stop responding after 2 messages. If you don't have anything interesting going on, then no, they will not respond to you.

Bro, you have some serious work to do. But you can do it, I have faith. Good luck on your journey man. If I sound aggressive, it's because I want you to do better. I was once like you too, I had no luck with girls, but I changed my mentality about women and started working on myself and noticed things changing for me. I've gone on plenty of dates, have had tons of good sex and now have a hot gf, who is awesome. I just wanna help other guys who remind me of the way I was.

Bart, this may come off harsh, but just being honest and in a rush. I'm not gonna tell you you deserve hot women, because I dont believe any guy automatically deserves anything. If you're attractive, like girls will fuck you off your looks alone attractive, you can get away with not changing. If you're not, you have to change. If you have no interest in getting to know women, thats what prostitutes are for. And I'm 100% serious about that. Pickup isnt for everyone. If you dont want to improve yourself, then pay for it. If you dont want to pay for it, improve yourself. There is no 3rd choice. At this point, you shouldnt even have time to be here, you should be out there meeting women. If I were you I'd sign up for every group event online in your city and just go. Anything beats being home. You have no excuses. I repeat, if its much for you to do, pay for it. If its not, you gotta put in the work asap.