Well I had a second date with a really attractive girl, she has a great career and has a lot going for her. The fact I got to the second date I was very happy!

On the first date we met for drinks but we were working the next day so only had a few but we got along amazing!

We went out for dinner tonight chatted for hours. I said lets get the bill and have a drink somewhere else but she said she had to leave as she is going out early tommorow.

I knew she already had plans so she's not lying but if she was interested she would have stayed right? We never ended the date with a kiss either.

Should I waste my time? Or is there still chance past the second date if nothing has happened physically?

The matter should go straight to sex. One time I went in the for the kiss, but the girl turned her face away, but squeezed me ultra hard. She said that she couldn't wait to see me again. The second time we saw each other she did a strip for me. The evening went well. Moral of the story: if she has said that she is VERY attracted to you, you must proceed aggressively to sex, because she CONSCIOUSLY (not impulsively) wants to see you. If you bungle it and do not work her over in a sophisticated way, she will be pissed off and could firebomb your house.

I suggest you dress up cool.

Nothing has happened physically because you didn't lead the interaction anywhere physical Moose.

We've been over this time and time again. You have to escalate. YOU. HAVE. TO. ESCALATE. Talking for "hours and hours" is not a successful date unless intimacy is involved.

Or do you plan to take her out on 10 kissless dates just like the other girl?

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I know it seems to everyone like I don't try but I go on a lot of dates and talk to a lot of girls, I do put the effort in just rubbish at escalating. Well I'm going out on dates to improve.

we went out for a drink first for half an hour to wait on our reservation for dinner, we had a really good conversation then went out for dinner, the conversation was going great she was smiling, seemed open. We were the last two in the restaraunt so I said lets get the bill. my plan was to go for drinks after dinner but she said she had to get up early the next day.

We ended the date quite awkwardly, we didn't hug or kiss on the cheek, she said she had a really lovely evening then we parted ways, I text her that night saying I had a night night and she looked cute but she didn't reply till two days after and said she had a nice evening too and to enjoy my weekend.

How do you escalate at dinner? we were sitting away from each other, this is why my plan was to go to a bar where we could sit close to each other.

How do I bring this back now? What should I do for the 3rd date, coffee? a walk in the park? or go to the movies?

thanks for everyone's help.

Not necessarily. It's called having a life and having healthy boundaries with someone you just met. If she stuck around you'd likely still be here concocting some other fault in her.

You don't escalate at dinner. That's why you don't do dinner dates as first dates. You would have known that had you actually paid any mind to the advice you've been given.

You're doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That's insanity.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Look man, your big problem is you don't go for it. Fuck escalation and doing it smoothly. That can come later. You gotta train yourself to go for it. You're like someone with severe approach anxiety...they have to learn how to just open, not whats the best way to. If it has to be an awkward kiss at the end of the night, so be it. If it has to be you explicitly say I want to kiss you, fine. Its not about getting the kiss or doing it smoothly, its about training yourself to go for it. For any date that you go on and you dont at least kiss, tell yourself you aren't allowed to go on a second date. If you hold yourself accountable and treat it like either you're going to kiss her or never see her again, you'll force yourself to do it.

This wasn't a first date, for the first date we went out for drinks. I thought the rule was to never do the same thing as you did for the first date?

neo87 - I think your advice is very good. What you said is spot on I do have severe approach ainxiety. I have kissed girls in the past on a second date but that's after putting the fear into me and I kept telling myself I would never see this girl again If I didn't kiss her.

Can anyone relate and find it hard to just go for it? I get really nervous.

What is a good idea for the next date? She text me back today saying her work was busy. surely the fact she text back is a good sign even if it was after 2 days.

Your place for a movie and wine

That's a problem I live with my parents, so not really an option.

Then get a place of your own and stop worrying about women. You have more immediate issues to solve.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I'm working on that, there is s reason why I don't have my own place, due to health issues in the past.

if she has said that she is VERY drawn to you, you must continue strongly to sex, because she CONSCIOUSLY (not impulsively) wants to see you. If you bungle it and do not perform her over in a innovative way, she will be angry off and could firebomb your home.

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WTF?

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Probably loosely copy paster form google translate.


For OP, read Vin Dicarlo's Escalation Ladder.

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