Hello everyone. I go to college here in the states.

Here's a response from a girl, which I find interesting: I'm a dirty blonde.

Scenario:

I saw her after class and tapped her on the shoulder and asked: I just saw you there and had to ask you is your hair color natural?

she smiled and said no.

me: Did you bleach it?

her: No I dyed it and I started from high school and couldn't stop since then.

me: What is your natural color?

she looked me in the eye and said: I'm a dirty blonde.

I chock for a second and said: Ok dark blonde...

One thing I find interesting is that most books assumes that girls are like cats but I've met some girls that are far more aggressive in terms of conversation.
What would be your response in this situation?

Also if this helps,

I continued: It's good choice because light blonde goes with light color really well, like vibrant red.(Her current hair color is really light blonde)

No response.

I continued: It's interesting because I find blonde attractive but also very intimidating at the same time.

her: why?

me: I read it's because some kind of evolutionary tribe effect.

No response.

me: Did you know what is the theory of evolutionary tribe effect?

She waved at someone walking towards up and said to that guy: I like your tag.(That guy has a tag on this chest)

I turned back to take a look at that guy, and turned back. Then she took a turned at a corner with a seeya.

I have give a few thoughts about this and have not come up with a better response. Could also be my body language.(I was walking up a hill, a bit slouching, looking at the ground). What do you think?

This isn't really for the lounge...but hey, it's your first post.

My response would probably have been...

Me: I believe that. But what's your real hair color?

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Your problem wasn't coming up with the perfect response, everyone has the perfect response AFTER the fact. Obviously the Dirty blonde comment was low hanging fruit but again that wasn't your problem.

without knowing your frame, body language, and other environmental and logistical details I'm only going to comment on the content of your stated responses which were a mixed bag. On one had its good you were aggressive and you had a few good/canned lines but one large mistake you made is trying to use logic and intelligence when your real job is trying to elicit an emotional response.

saying things like me: I read it's because some kind of evolutionary tribe effect.

No response.

me: Did you know what is the theory of evolutionary tribe effect?


is a game killer, girls hate that shit. I know as I used to try to be the smartest guy in the room which yields little to no pussy. Don't try to be smart, or worry about not being especially clever, focus on being aggressive, funny, entertaining, confident, and eliciting a positive emotional response.

Wow, I'm sure she could see how dumb you are. What the hell is "evolutionary tribe effect"?

I hope you submitted a research paper on the subject...

"How dirty?"

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It's too bad you didn't actually say this, honestly.

You went full nerd bird bro. The moment you had a chance. You wanted to come across as smart, but came across as seeking validation and it was a turn off.

The "how dirty" response is classic. But with your mindset, what would you really have done after saying it? You have to be able to carry the conversation from the mentalities of people who are more advanced than you. The proper response would of been no use.

All of us say dumb shit to the women we approach all the time, but we know how to recover and brush it off to keep going. Just keep approaching an a lot of these problems will take care of themselves..

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Another guy with no "bawlz" behind the way he talks.

Did you actually like this chick? Cause I never would have guessed... You're talking about evolutionary side effects and shit. How's she supposed to know you wanna pull her hair out of her head while you smack her ass?

After she said she was a dirty blonde, I would have asked her "are you a dirty girl too?" .... With a sexy smile on my face and "the look" in my eye.

Fucking hit on the girl. You need testicles in order to have a sense of entitlement. Have thou no testicles?

Thank you guys so much. Your responses are all very help and I appreciate the thoughts.

Just a quick update.
After that day, the girl showed up where I usually sit in class, or couple of rows right in front of me flipping her hair like crazy, pretending talking to friends so it's just enough to have me in her eyesight (I notice some guys do this too, after I offended them). This makes me nervous in class and I didn't approach her until today, mostly because I'm busy, nervous and don't know what to do.

Today after class I approached her again.
Class was over and I went out of classroom waiting for her to come out, we had eye contact right as she came out of the door, before she turned away. I walked up to her. Not sure it's because she saw her friend or noticed my approach, her fast movement in the crowd was at least Olympic level. When I finally caught up to her

me: hey (2 feet away from the back)
no response, kept walking towards her friend.
me: hey dirty blond (which I somehow came to sense is a bad thing to say)
no response, kept walking with her friend.
me: tapped on her shoulder "I never learned your name"
her: Jenny (looking at the ground)
me: no response... Approach failed.

I was planning to ask her out for a party but with her friend's presence, it's hard to initiate.

Also I feel like she's trying to avoid me in the first place so I did not proceed further.

What do you think?

I totally agree with you, but it's hard to emotionally isolated approaching women to approaching HWs.

Like I mentioned, I was a bit slouch with both hands in my gray columbia jacket. Looking at the ground 70% of the time, 15% contact, 15% looking further like a philosopher.

As for frame, I would say just wonder what happens, not really had expectation or any outcome. Should I expect a date for every approach though?

Here's where you went wrong.
Why would you ever tell a girl you're intimidated by her? This is putting-on-a-pedestal behavior.


Classic escape mechanism,

Done. Cooked. Scalded. Finished.

You seem like a well-read guy. So am I. I have learned to separate the sensitive, open-minded reader and intellectual (music, literature, etc) from the social/sexual guy.

The intellectual me pontificates, theorizes, flip-flops and weighs everything in pretty scenarios varying in complexity and nuance.

This does not work when getting girls. It does not work in the bedroom.

You need to be kind of a dick and a bit selfish.


Her: I'm a dirty blonde.

You: I bet.

Then walk away. She's going to wonder if she went too far and turned you off. But she's going to be thinking about YOU.

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I hate this kind of advice. All it is is a qualifying strategy to make a girl try to prove her worthiness. To say it's needed is a narrow minded view and it doesn't help create a lasting attraction if it's not your true personality.

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You need to play the game around 9/10's or you'll get chewed alive.

This guy was himself around a hot girl, and he got obliterated. So he should do the same thing again?

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This is assuming that I don't. The reason I don't get chewed alive is because I can't be chewed alive. A 9/10 doesn't validate me in any way so I don't put them in this category that gives them more value. I have aspects of my life that make me confident outside of women and that carries over to my interactions with women.There is a difference in being yourself and knowing how to present yourself. It's an understanding that most guys in this community seem to miss.

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This forum should simply close down and this reply be put in it's place.

That right there is the fundamental truth 90% of guys fail to grasp.

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