TLDR; returned from 2weeks with LD LTGF and side chick doesn't want to hang anymore

in a very long term relationship (15+yr) that has become long distance in the last 2 years. introduced to a girl via my personal social network who was moving out here for work. we started hanging out and hooking up (she is aware of my LTGF). just got back from 2weeks with LTGF and side chick doesn't want to hang out (being very aloof).

best strategy? thinking of cold shoulder for the time being....

need more info ask....

THANKS!

Your fwb is developing feelings.

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a bit more detail... been seeing the fwb for about 2months very regularly (~2-4x a week)
that's not bad news actually... i was thinking the opposite... i can work with that...


suggestions?

P.s. why is it so hard when you're the fish in the bowl. All this shit is super easy to sort thru when it's someone else. When it's me... clear as mud LOL smdh

What was the premise of your relationship with this girl?

2-4 times / week is hardly a fwb. You have more of a relationship with her than you do with your gf.

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i'm gonna assume you're here to help. afterall that's what these forums are about. guys helping guys. but your statement came off as a bit judgmental to me.

to answer your first question (and let me know if i didn't):
sex and good times. we hang out and hook up. sometimes i kick her out sometimes she stays over and vice versa. she knows all about my LTGF.

as far as your second statement (this is the one that came off as judgmental to me), i don't see your basis for saying that. just because i've been seeing a chick regularly for a couple of months doesn't mean squat about my relationship with my LTGF. yeah i've been seeing the side chick more, but that doesn't undercut 15yrs of history.

look at it this way... say you're got a really good buddy you've known forever, but he moves away for work or some shit. you meet a bro to hang with and pick up chicks, but you've only known him for 2 months.

who are you closer to? history counts...

Assuming your goal is to phase out the GF and insert FWB as a replacement, let it. STFU about the GF and pound FWB extra hard this week.

Like a chain saw, let the saw do the work, you don't have to push so hard.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Think I'm with ya on STFU about the GF. Not really phasing out... just fucking around and having fun.

Gonna let it idle for a bit and ping her in a week or so i think....

Don't like the condescending reply to RC, or the way you tried to qualify yourself about how strong your relationship is with "history" when you're cheating. If R.C came in talking about the history and how important your relationship is, you'd have said pretty much exactly what he said. I Don't think anything screams out "I've got a scarcity mindset and I'm pretending I don't" more than taking all the pussy you can get, even if you're in a relationship. I used to do it a lot, lol. I just think you should call it off with your girlfriend. Grow some balls and leave her if you're not interested.

However, I'll post my opinion:

Side chick is trying to keep her distance because, as previously stated, she's falling for you. You do absolutely NOTHING. Remember, attraction isn't a choice. She won't be able to resist, I guarantee it. Just ler her cum and go as she pleases, and she'll do just that.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

not tryin to be douchie.... just calling it like i see it... but point taken... i'll tone it down seeing as i'm new here...

thanks

p.s. apologies to RC if i offended

I wasn't being judgmental. I was trying to put thing into perspective for you.

I asked what the premise of your relationship with this girl was because it's relevant. There's a difference between telling a girl straight up "I have a long term GF, so this is a feels free thing", or telling her something vague - or nothing at all.

Then again, no matter what you told her, seeing her 2-4 times a week for "sex and good times" is exactly the fledgling of a relationship, in it's early stages. It's what soon-to-be couples do. That's why I said you have more of a relationship with your side girl. Especially from her point of view.
A FWB is someone you text "sex?" at 2:00 AM after a night out with your bro's and don't feel like going home.

From what I understood your LTR is long distance. I don't know for how long that has been/will be going on for, but sticking to your buddy analogy, if he's gone for long enough the new friend will eventually take that role. I know 15 years is a long time, but "Out of sight, out of mind", clichee as it may be, is true none-the-less.

Point is, she's catching feelings. And no wonder she is. You may not be doing it on purpose but you're leading her on. And you really can't blame her if she started to maybe hope you'd leave your current gf for her. It's not like you haven't given her the incentive to believe that.

PS: I didn't take any offence, and I'd encourage you to in fact not tone it down. Misunderstandings happen, so speak your mind freely.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

A wrote an article on Way Of The Player called " Is Your Girl Slipping Away? " You should check that out. Its a story about recovering in these situations. When its just one of your girls that you don't invest that much time in.

However, this shit happens. Some girls hang around, and some taper off if they're not getting what they want. I'm sure she thinking about the fact that she's sleeping with a "married" man. How long do you want that to last? Unless of course she's gets introduced to your current girlfriend. It'll make her feel like she's apart of something. If you can pull that off that'll make it easier.

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interesting article...i've already done more damage than good here last week by initiating too many conversations and extending too many invitations (see what happens when you go and let yourself like a chick... lol)

although i did run into her a the parking lot at work last friday (played it very casual) and after i told her i was going to see a med school buddy of mine in her home town she wrote me like a full page of personalized recommendations for things to do (or who knows maybe she had a prewritten file?)

then back to the aloofness.....

i'm guessing she's still into me, so i'll just have to play the long dollar on this one and give the fish line to run....in the meantime guess i'll go out on the hunt.....(not the prey i was looking for but ya gotta eat)

i'll check back in a week or so and update y'all

thanks for the advice

I think you're mostly right... seems as though this either
a) a play for an upgrade
or
b) an exit strategy

hard to tell

just givin it the ole bump to see if there are any other perspectives

What more do you need? A definition?

Relationship: A legal form of prostitution where a female collects money, cars, and other valuable things in exchange for sex.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.