well I have no problem in discussing matters and issues with friends when we're one on one . However , when we're in groups especially male groups I have a problem being a part of what's going on . I tend to just shut up and listen . Maybe I answer a question or two but really it's either I can't relate or I have nothing to say . My friends tend to be surprised about the fact Iwas actually there . There should be a technique about being the center of a room because really I am having a hard time here . Because of the fact I shut down in groups apparently I get invited to lesser places and come off as a loner .

Nothing wrong with that.

Many women prefer Lone Wolf men to frat boys. Having to "belong" to a group shows weakness. And your post shows a level of neediness that may effect your game.

A big bull elk doesn't wish he could hang around the lesser elk.

I often go it alone to the bars because my friends can get embarrassing when they drink.

You can dominate a room without saying a word and while being completely alone:

Get in fantastic shape and dress to show it off. Hit the gym, bulk up (without the fat). Be that big bull elk among the harem, not the little elk jostling around the perimeter.

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This is exactly right. The right vibe - of which one way to manifest this is to hold a genuine immense hope for the future - will pull in women's attention quite quickly, without you saying a single word.

Why are you encouraging him to stagnate?


OP you don't have to be the "center of the room". You're a natural introvert, don't have expectations of turning it 180 and becoming a natural extrovert. It's pointless. You don't have to be the center of attention to have a great time.

You simply have to involve yourself more in group conversations. Chime in, let your opinions be known, have fun. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.
Or maybe you're just surrounding yourself with the wrong people? I tend to shut the fuck up too when for whatever reason I find myself in really un-entertaining company. If I think someone is lame I won't talk to them just for the sake of talking. The point is to connect with like-minded people.

You can improve your social interactions, but you don't have to be "that guy" in order to have fun. Find the gray-zone.

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You can awkwardly try to fit in. This would be like being given a fish which feeds you for a day but ultimately leaves you unfulfilled.

Or you can work on yourself by following principles you'll find all over this forum which can lead to a pure centered persona where your current desire to fit in with boys who are grouped together will literally be the last thing on your mind. This would be like being taught how to fish which feeds you for a lifetime and ultimately leaves you fulfilled. Paradoxically you just may find that you are having no problem commanding massive attention in groups at that point. But you won't really care either way.

I have been on both sides of this fence personally and it's easy to guess which is preferable.

By the way your username while kind of funny may also be kind of sad if u mean it - i hope you don't think of yourself as a 'basic fucking idiot', if u do please change this view of yourself.

Do you know what the problem is ? Is it the topics, you got no knowledge of them, is there a dominant speaker / leader in your group, I persume it's not you.
Maybe you can giv a more detailed explanation of the situations, and I bet we can quickly find a solution tailored to you.

Cheers

Let me tell you something about cool people... Real cool people

Quote from the Tao : A Real fighter doesn't act like a fighter all the time.
A Real Good dancer doesn't show off all the time.
A Real Artist doesn't go holding his art up in the air.

They got nothing to prove to anybody.
There's a humble air about realness.

If you want to be cool... just be cool.


Let that sink in

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So you really changed your username from "basic noob" to "basic fucking idiot". lol

Dude, don't wanna offend you but it's easy to see from your posts that you have this overly nice guy behaviour in your personality. While you might gain sympathy from others, it won't get you any girls. Be a lil defiant. Sometimes, in order to achieve something, you have to stand up for something or "MAN UP" as they say. Bring some authority in your personality/tonality in general. When you talk to a girl with this tonality, she'll probably think "oh he's so cute" but guess what? being cute doesn't get you girls. Girls want Men not boys.

On your question, unfortunately there's no technique to become center of room. IF you are a fun guy with good communication and social skills, you'll probably be center of room without even trying for that.

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So what could you do to relate?

Quit looking for quick answers when you really need long term solutions.

Instead of sitting there listening to your friends talk about all the interesting shit they did, go do some interesting shit yourself.

I wrote an article on my blog called "3 Ways To Be a More Interesting Person." Search for it and check it out if you're interested.

See yourself as a roller coaster... The more cool shit you add on to it, the more people are going to be drawn to it.

There's no "technique" really. I myself was a VERY introverted person - except for when it came to geeky topics.

Be FUN. Make jokes. Tease. And relate to things as much as possible - this is ALWAYS possible by the way.

I do genuinely think that being good at being social is a very important skill. You have to be comfortable interacting, and not fear other people's judgement. When you hear people talking, engage. ASk questions. Put yourself out there. THere isn't much more to it than that.

Oceanx any tips or advice on how to get on either side of the fence ?
BTW take a breack people , this is why I changed my username :
mid-game/approach-anxiety-after-number- ... 94464.html

Thats just a testament that you're usually not the assertive take charge time and/or the Alpha male in the group.

You have to be willing to be unfunny, over talkative, and potentially annoying if you want to be the center of a room. Every center of the room walks that fine line. Sometimes you lean a little to each side, but you'll get right back on balance. However, you don't have to be eternally "alpha" to have attention shifted on you in the group. You just have to be comfortable in your own skin. You can ask questions at the right times, and or make comments when the moment strikes. And/or you can just be willing to do some shit that the majority of the group isn't. Like approaching the hot chick walking down the street and successfully picking her up. That will establish you right there. Men rate each other on usefulness. Our contributions, and our potential to contribute.

So what do you bring to the table?

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First remove the god awful Basic Fucking Idiot user name. Just b/c Peb told you to change it to that doesn't mean u needed to. Just like u don't have to change the name now that i am telling you to.

I would pick some pickup guy on Youtube and follow his method to a tee. Hopefully someone as non gamey as possible who also incorporates lifestyle & overall success principles. Follow someone who resonates with you. Also the stickies and other parts of this forum have everything needed to be known. Gotta put in the work.

Most the materiel covers woman seduction , being the social center of a room is never really a general topic of discussion .

Re-read my postings above to get the big picture of what I am advising you to do. There will be zero concern for wanting to be the social center when you implement what I & others in this thread are talking about.

A guy doesn't get to the point where he can effortlessly and consistently be the social center of a room by studying how to be the social center of a room. He gets there through all around self development.