I've been seeing a girl for over a month and things are going pretty well but could always be better. We meet up once or twice per week for sex and good conversation.

We are both interested in just a casual relationship without exclusivity on either side.

Recently, my roommate pointed out jokingly that I was being used by the girl. So I thought about it and I agree with him to some extent.

So the girl will have sex (every time) when I do something nice. For example, when I cook a dinner and invite her over she usually is happy to have sex. Recently I replaced a light bulb in her car and I didn't even have to initiate anything. But if it's just a regular meetup (when I don't do anything out of the ordinary nice) I noticed that oftentimes she is not so interested in having sex, just a sleepover. I am not interested in a traditional relationship so just a sleepover is sort of a waste of time for me.

Keep in mind, I don't have a lot of instances (since I've only hung out with her for about one month) to say for sure that this is the trend that's going on, but let's say it was. - What would be the best way to deal with the situation where a girl is treating sex as a currency for when a guy does something that's considered nice?

Btw, the girl recently ended a long-term relationship in case that matters. The sex is always really good and she gives me good feedback afterwards.

So let me get this right

You basically have a FWB relationship with this person...and you're now upset because you feel you're being used for making her a few dinners and getting sex.


Hmm...why are you making dinners for her if she's not your gf OR you're not trying to make her your girlfriend??

See I smell bullshit you know why? Your expectations aren't at FWB. You're making her meals in hopes to woo her to be your GF otherwise you'd have a more cavalier attitude towards this 'imposition'. Do you make dinners for friends? Do you do things for people without expecting any payment in return?

You're already getting sex, and if sex is all you want from her just have "netflix and chill" nights.

It's always great when people jump to conclusions. I don't blame you, you're just basing your conclusion off the evidence at hand.
But to answer your question, yes, I do cook for my friends often, once a month I'd say. I also do favors for friends without expecting payment in return. If they are 'friends' I tend to think that's how things should work. - Social economists would probably disagree though.

Btw, even if what you're saying is 100% true, my question still stands: If a guy is being used for favors and a girl 'pays' in sex, how does one reverse this behavior?

Non alphas will argue that some small favor (dinner) for sex is actually a good deal but the implications of such behavior should be obvious and hence the reason for the original post.

You're missing the point.

Define "used"

For an insight into the theory, jump to Phase 4, here:

pua-lounge/topic164143.html?hilit=buy%2 ... hit%20test

For the application, you can try this: While banging her, look for the cue when she starts closing her eyes and moving her head from side-to-side, then you take your package out.

YOU: I'm thirsty. Can you get me some iced tea at the fridge, babe?

Start to condition her with small compliance tests and move forward to bigger ones. Some small compliance tests in the bedroom are:

1. Babe. Raise your butt a little.

2. Babe. Grind your hips some more.

3. Say my name.

4. Say please. Now, say, "harder". Say, "faster". I can't hear you. Louder.

You also have to dominate her in the bedroom to make up for your submissive frame. For instance:

1. Slap her face with your package.

2. Pin both of her hands down at the bed during foreplay.

3. Slightly pull her hair during doggie style.

4. Gently choke her neck while she's in the throes of pleasure.

5. Grab both of her butt cheeks while you're pounding her fast and hard and pull her ass as close as possible during the rapid thrusts.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

LOL this is just too funny! I wonder if anyone actually believes this stuff.

She likes that you care about her and don't treat her as a sex object. If she does the same for you, she sounds like a pretty good chick.

Know whom you're getting your advice from OP.

A poster who suffers from a routine pattern of getting financially, physically, emotionally and mentally abused by his girlfriends is the wrong guy to listen to in a similar issue most especially when he hasn't YET resolved his own deep rooted personal issues with this pattern of abuse.

relationships/topic169112.html

relationships/topic169387.html

A blind man cannot lead the blind.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

LOL Again, too funny.

Thank you for that btw. It's really nice to see how I've grown along my journey. Appreciate it man.

Dude what the fuck?

An occasional dinner and lightbulb change are not favors. These are normal occurrences among friends.

And being used means being taken advantage of. I hardly understand how this is the case, since you're not doing anything for her that you don't do for your other friends, as you yourself mention.

You're exaggerating.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Not a big deal-keep boning her

Its as easy to cook for 2 as 1 ok it might cost a little more but what the hell.


Now ive experienced used in the past.

picture taking a spoilt princess out and spending 100 euros for dinner and drinks, then ask her for one measly spare ciggaret and she frowns and hands it over begrugingly and in slow motion like id asked her to climb mount everest--oh and then back to hers for the worst sex ive ever had where she lay there in dead fish position and i did all the work.

THAT doesnt happen to me anymore

Talk to her.

If you're not interested in having her sleep over just as a cuddle buddy then you have to communicate that. And you have to be prepared for the response you may get. But subject yourself to something that is less than what you feel you deserve.

However, if you're not willing to "walk" then you're better off not even bringing it up.

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Def exaggerating. If she is repaying you with sex, that's the opposite of her using you. If my friend gives me a ride home sometimes, and when he does I buy him dinner...I'M NOT USING HIM. I'm actually being fair. When people are using you, they dont give you something in return. Especially on their own accord.

Look, maybe she likes when you do something nice and it makes her horny. Maybe she sees sex as a way to repay you for a nice thing. If there is an actual link between you doing a favor and her sleeping with you, ever consider your sex game is off, hence she needs something additional to want sex from you? That's where I'd look first. But she's not using you nor is she using sex as a currency.

And as eddie said, if you dont want sleepovers tell her.

You sound bored with the girl. Maybe she's also bored with you.