I went back on three hours sleep because I would have been another week before I had a chance to go back.

What aren't you getting here?

Seriously, do the guys with real oneitis usually give up before anyone mentions oneitis? Don't they, far more often, argue that "it isn't oneitis but please tell me how to fix it with this girl?" I put in a little effort with her because I thought she might be interested and I realized afterwards that I should have taken the shot, that's all. Maybe I should have gone to a different bar and approached 10 other girls but... well, honestly I tried that after the second night. Halfway home I decided to have another drink and see if I can find anyone at a bar closer to home, weren't many girls out though so didn't accomplish much.

It's utterly hilarious that you keep telling me going to the bar three times is too much effort when you wanted me to go a fourth to make her jealous and gauge her reaction... which would have probably required a fifth trip to close the deal. I was ready to end the effort on this chick.

You're basically taking a few random statements and trying to force a diagnosis for something because you want it to be true.

I ask again: What do you get out of me having oneitis?

There are plenty of problems I need to recover from. Oneitis with a chick I was already done with isn't one of them.

Who said that comment to Dragula was important? I only replied to Dragula because I thought we were joking around as an aside to the real discussion and I was rather enjoying it. I hope he isn't getting pissed off or something because I thought we were just having a little fun.

Jesus... you keep acting like I've got some problem while engaging in the exact same behavior. I thought controlling your ego was important to being a MPUA!

Why do you all need to prove I have oneitis so badly?

(A question I've now asked 4 or 5 times.)

LOL. I don't think that's it, but it's certainly an interesting theory. I think it's part procrastination from doing work and part ego. I don't think it's sublimation from sex though, or I'd just be playing Zelda right now like I'd intended to before I caught this post.
On this I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Unless you're passionate about proving you don't have oneitis?

Onama, would you recommend anyone to act as you did?

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Not angry bro. Just entertained at you clutching straws to debates. Let's keep this rolling.

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I wouldn't make a recommendation either way due to my inexperience. I would point out, however, that I was advised to go back each time in the original thread. If the opinion had been that I shouldn't go back, I'd have dropped it right then and, at most, tried to chat her up again next time I ended up there for other reasons. You're basically accusing me of oneitis because I followed the advice I received here.

I'll make one last point on this: If oneitis had been mentioned sooner, we'd probably never have gotten to your advice that was actually helpful and important. We'd just have spent the whole time talking about oneitis.

(Although to be fair looking at my old posts was enlightening and Dryden's whole sublimation thing is something I really need to think about, though not specifically in terms of arguing about oneitis.)

Dragula: Glad you're entertained... but we'll have to agree to disagree.

That's bullshit. You have gone through the experience now. Would you advise someone else to do exactly what you did? Keep in mind that you did not follow any of the advice that I gave you. If you say yes, I understand and respect that. If you say no, why not?

BTW...you've been here since 2009. You have been gathering knowledge and experience for over six years.

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And he only got laid twice during that period if I am not mistaken.

Onoma, if your approach is NOT working as effectively as it should, why keep at it, hmm? Are you more satisfied in getting embroiled at debates that go nowhere rather than burying your package in a girl's Fedex or UPS perhaps?

Is it too hard for you to accept the one-itis indicators and steer clear of those next time? Somehow, I think ALL of us here have had one-itis. It is through being aware that we manage the situation under tight control and help us get laid on the regular at least twice a week instead of twice in six years since 2009.

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Feels like this topic has been prolonged way too much.

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No, it isn't.
None of your advice came until after the third time I went there... at which point you said I should go there with another girl to make her jealous, which would now just be more evidence of oneitis!

Meanwhile had Oceanix said:

"At this point I would stop by for a quick drink next time and just ask her to meet up. Learn from this one for future endeavors: Strike while the iron's hot."

Which is exactly what I did, minus the actual drink.

What aren't you getting about that?
There was a four or five year break where I was in a relationship (and then had a live-in ex that made me far too miserable to actually game, and I'm still dealing with the damage from that.) I've also had a couple chances since then, one of which I just wasn't interested in and another where... well, my sexual anxiety got the best of me so I didn't push for the f-close and we just made out for a while. I am progressing, just not as much as I probably should be.
You are slightly mistaken. Two girls, but one of whom I slept with many times over a three or four year period.
You know, it's 8:15am on a Monday while I'm waiting to dial into a conference call. It's not like I'm doing this instead of going out sarging or something.
Look, I think that jumping to conclusions like that hurts this forum. If we'd started immediately with the oneitis stuff I'd never have gotten JackZero's actual point. It's a distraction from the real issues, especially when the main evidence of oneitis is that I followed someone else's advice.

It truthfully doesn't matter: The situation was created because I didn't make a move immediately, or even the first time I went back... and I should have. Better to do it immediately, instead of leaving it open because she "might be interested" and I drag it out.

What effect does "having oneitis" have on that? None, because it would have been done with the night I met her if I'd acted.
Agreed.

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Hmmmm... You did get advice that told you to go back. I can't argue that. How many times did you go there and how many of those times were due to advice given here? That's a genuine question

What I'm getting more now is poor inner game and not from the debate but from your dating experiences over 6 years, and fear of pulling the trigger earlier with this girl. Regardless as I said it doesn't matter what you have.. What do you think you need to fix and how are you going to?

Was invited to go with friends the night I met her.
Asked about going back or just dropping it, and oceanix suggested I "roll back in there with a friend or alone."
When I was leaving she asked me twice if she'd see me again, I failed to take advantage of that opening so posted again and oceanix said she seemed interested.
Again went there, and this time when I left I figured I'd back off so said happy holidays if I don't see you, and she looked/acted disappointed.
Posted again, oceanix suggested I just have a quick drink and directly ask her out. So I did, and number closed.

So I guess I went 3 times after I met her, and was explicitly advised to go twice and told she seemed interested once.
Yeah, that's not even a question.
I don't think it was fear, honestly I think it's a combination of having given up, not being present and my normal slowness with conversation. The "Having given up" up part is because both times I was leaving she hadn't shown much interest, so when she asked me if she'd see me again or acted disappointed I might not be back for a few weeks it didn't even register properly. The "not being present" part is because my brain was already shifting ahead to other things I had to do, and the conversation part... well I've always been kinda bad at conversation.

So fixing it, if we break that down:

The "giving up" is probably an inner game issue. And potentially frame control as well? So instead of overanalyzing a girls actions I should work on assuming attraction, even in the face of inattentiveness, and work on inner game in general?

The presence part, I kinda suck at. Meditation is supposed to help with that, right? I know there's some other stuff I've read about being more present so maybe I should look at that again.

Conversation though... I'm constantly tongue tied and overanalyzing/worrying about the things I say so often I don't say them. I've taken improv classes, which are supposed to help with such things, and I think it did a little but probably not enough. I'm taking acting classes, part of which is more improv, but not sure what else I could do?

I'm open to more suggestions...

Conversations do not need to be 100% verbal. During certain days when your testosterone is high, you just don't feel like talking at all combined with a hard on that just won't quit.

You can converse nonverbally. Start with something normal. How? Mirroring.

Say, when a girl raises her eyebrow to greet you nonverbally, raise your eyebrow too. When she smiles at you, smile at her.

Once you're comfortable with mirroring, do some sexual and playful stuff. For example, when she raises her eyebrow to greet you nonverbally, stick your tongue out and make funny faces. When a girl smiles at you, project a serious face and do some dancing motions with your hands (not your body).

When you're comfortable with those, you can now initiate caveman style nonverbal stuff. For example you can bump her ass with yours, slightly pull her hair and so on.

When you're comfortable with caveman style, initiate some nonverbal compliance tests. For example, when you catch the girl looking at you, point to her and then point to the empty chair beside you.

You can also point to her and then point to your wrist watch just to get her reaction. When she reacts, point to her again, and do a sleeping motion with your hands and head.

Of course, you should do some hand holding, eye fucking and some vicparkguy bombing. All of those are nonverbal communication techniques when you don't feel like talking.

You can also do some crotch game nonverbals or give girls an air blowjob. For a change, consciously shut your mouth and polish your nonverbal communication skills.

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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

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I'm not sure what those things mean...?