Girl making me invest (possibly too much?)



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 5:05 pm 
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Last edited by stundent2 on Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 5:46 pm 
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I met a girl in my workplace. Initially there were IOI's (she was looking at me all the time whenever I passed by), so I approached and we started talking. She's always resistant when I tried to make a move. But when I approach and just talk she is happy to participate and also continues conversation when I run out of things to say. At first I asked her name in order to find her on fb and she said 'Not today'. Then I said that I'm quitting my job to which she said 'You know where to find me'. The next day I tried to move things forward again but she said that I know the companies name where she works so if I really want to find her I can search the company on internet and find her. I don't like what she is saying me because that makes me behave like a clingy desperate guy, who searches girls on google. However I really like this girl. So some week later I go shopping (she works in the shopping mall) and approach her, trying to get her number. This time I get her name, but only name, and again the same story, if I really want her I can find her on internet.
So I found her yesterday on fb but didn't add yet. However in order to find her I needed to visit companies fb page, find on fb a person who created the page and search this girls name in that persons friend list. This made me feel like a stalker, so I'm afraid if I add her on fb she will lose interest because I have invested too much time trying to find her contact info. Any advice what should I do next?
Turns out she is in open relationship. That doesn't make any sense for me. Why would she want me to invest in her if she wanted only casual relationship or one night stand?


TL;DR Met a girl, she was showing interest but refused to give her number or name. She said I can find her on internet if I really want to. That makes me behave like a stalker but I don't want her to lose interest. I found her on fb but didn't add yet. What should I do?


Quote:
Why would she want me to invest in her if she wanted only casual relationship or one night stand?
What makes you say this? Girls don't give you obstacles to make you invest. If she likes you, she will go out of her way to make it easy for you. Would she do this crap with Brad Pitt?
Quote:
However I really like this girl
You don't even know her, oneitus. stop thinking like this till at least you're fucking her or if you're on a date

Look, girls that suggest for you to add her on Facebook, translates as she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings by saying she isn't interested in you. Actions speak louder than words.

Also, you're looking to make her a girlfriend and you barely have said a word to her or got to know her past small talk, she doesn't want a boyfriend. Are you hoping to become the man of her dreams so she suddenly changes her life and becomes a one man girl? YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. Especially when she isn't even interested in you. Why not fuck her and THEN gauge her behaviour afterwards on her open relationship situation?

If you are still adamant that she looks at you and she is interested. Ask her out like a man, if she declines and gives you an excuse, move on, pursue other girls. If you don't get a phone number. You are wasting your time on her.

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Last edited by Dragula on Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 6:11 pm 
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Quote:
Why would she want me to invest in her if she wanted only casual relationship or one night stand?
What makes you say this? Girls don't give you obstacles to make you invest. If she likes you, she will go out of her way to make it easy for you. Would she do this crap with Brad Pitt?
Quote:
However I really like this girl
You don't even know her, oneitus. stop thinking like this till at least you're fucking her or if you're on a date

Look, girls that suggest for you to add her on Facebook, translates as she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings by saying she isn't interested in you. Actions speak louder than words.

Also, you're looking to make her a girlfriend and you barely have said a word to her or got to know her past small talk, she doesn't want a boyfriend. Are you hoping to become the man of her dreams so she suddenly changes her life and becomes a one man girl? YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. Especially when she isn't even interested in you. Why not fuck her and THEN gauge her behaviour afterwards on her open relationship situation?

If you are still adamant that she looks at you and she is interested. Ask her out like a man, if she declines and gives you an excuse, move on, pursue other girls. If you don't get a phone number. You are wasting your time on her.
That's why I'm asking why is she doing this. I know that she has interest in me, and it's based on facts not on gut feeling.
I don't have oneitis. I'm also talking to other girls, but this one specifically I like the best. I have no plans with her, I'm just interested in her. I could take rejection, but she hasn't rejected me, that's my point.
She didn't suggest shit, it was me, but since she didn't say her name I asked for number which I didn't receive either. What I think is that she doesn't want to seem easy or slutty, and her LMR is little bit more extreme than for other girls.
Ok forget about the open relationship, it doesn't matter.


I just want to know maybe someone has had similar experience and could give me advice.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 6:32 pm 
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Quote:
That's why I'm asking why is she doing this. I know that she has interest in me, and it's based on facts not on gut feeling.
I don't have oneitis. I'm also talking to other girls, but this one specifically I like the best. I have no plans with her, I'm just interested in her. I could take rejection, but she hasn't rejected me, that's my point.
She didn't suggest shit, it was me, but since she didn't say her name I asked for number which I didn't receive either. What I think is that she doesn't want to seem easy or slutty, and her LMR is little bit more extreme than for other girls.
Ok forget about the open relationship, it doesn't matter.


I just want to know maybe someone has had similar experience and could give me advice.
Help us understand the facts more since you are saying it's more than a gut feeling. The only thing you say about her is that she keeps a conversation going and that can be simply because she's a talkative person. Everything else seems like disinterest.

**In before the oneitis rant thread gets started**

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 6:50 pm 
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I know that she has interest in me, and it's based on facts not on gut feeling.
you might wanna elaborate on that chief instead of skipping over it in the OP

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:08 pm 
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I didn't post facts because I'm here for advice, not because I want to prove something. And it looks like you all think I'm some kind of clingy AFC, I don't know why, maybe the way I describe things sucks. I'm sorry, english is not my first language.
Forget about this thread, this indeed starts to look clingy if I will create a huge discussion about one girl. All I wanted was a fast advice, but never mind I don't give enough shit to start discussing every aspect of this situation.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:12 pm 
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And it looks like you all think I'm some kind of clingy AFC, I don't know why, maybe the way I describe things sucks.
What makes you think that? Gut feeling?

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:16 pm 
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HAHA ^

Jeez, another chump bites the dust as soon as their situation get's dissected for the REAL problem.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:22 pm 
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Screw Dragula and Jack...they think EVERYTHING is one itis. Thats group think for ya. Of course this sounds like a bad one itis and she's not interested, but these facts that have not been explained negate all that.

But seriously, if you want advice, give details. Because just from what you wrote, she isn't interested. You haven't given context to how you met her, whether it was a situation where she would have to be nice to you, whether these IOI's were real or just her being cordial. But if she isnt giving you her name and number and all that, odds are she's not interested.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:25 pm 
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Hey OP, you seem to of typically edited your post, I shall post it instead:
Quote:
I met a girl in my workplace. Initially there were IOI's (she was looking at me all the time whenever I passed by), so I approached and we started talking. She's always resistant when I tried to make a move. But when I approach and just talk she is happy to participate and also continues conversation when I run out of things to say. At first I asked her name in order to find her on fb and she said 'Not today'. Then I said that I'm quitting my job to which she said 'You know where to find me'. The next day I tried to move things forward again but she said that I know the companies name where she works so if I really want to find her I can search the company on internet and find her. I don't like what she is saying me because that makes me behave like a clingy desperate guy, who searches girls on google. However I really like this girl. So some week later I go shopping (she works in the shopping mall) and approach her, trying to get her number. This time I get her name, but only name, and again the same story, if I really want her I can find her on internet.
So I found her yesterday on fb but didn't add yet. However in order to find her I needed to visit companies fb page, find on fb a person who created the page and search this girls name in that persons friend list. This made me feel like a stalker, so I'm afraid if I add her on fb she will lose interest because I have invested too much time trying to find her contact info. Any advice what should I do next?
Turns out she is in open relationship. That doesn't make any sense for me. Why would she want me to invest in her if she wanted only casual relationship or one night stand?


TL;DR Met a girl, she was showing interest but refused to give her number or name. She said I can find her on internet if I really want to. That makes me behave like a stalker but I don't want her to lose interest. I found her on fb but didn't add yet. What should I do?

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:43 pm 
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Hey OP, you seem to of typically edited your post, I shall post it instead:
Quote:
I met a girl in my workplace. Initially there were IOI's (she was looking at me all the time whenever I passed by), so I approached and we started talking. She's always resistant when I tried to make a move. But when I approach and just talk she is happy to participate and also continues conversation when I run out of things to say. At first I asked her name in order to find her on fb and she said 'Not today'. Then I said that I'm quitting my job to which she said 'You know where to find me'. The next day I tried to move things forward again but she said that I know the companies name where she works so if I really want to find her I can search the company on internet and find her. I don't like what she is saying me because that makes me behave like a clingy desperate guy, who searches girls on google. However I really like this girl. So some week later I go shopping (she works in the shopping mall) and approach her, trying to get her number. This time I get her name, but only name, and again the same story, if I really want her I can find her on internet.
So I found her yesterday on fb but didn't add yet. However in order to find her I needed to visit companies fb page, find on fb a person who created the page and search this girls name in that persons friend list. This made me feel like a stalker, so I'm afraid if I add her on fb she will lose interest because I have invested too much time trying to find her contact info. Any advice what should I do next?
Turns out she is in open relationship. That doesn't make any sense for me. Why would she want me to invest in her if she wanted only casual relationship or one night stand?


TL;DR Met a girl, she was showing interest but refused to give her number or name. She said I can find her on internet if I really want to. That makes me behave like a stalker but I don't want her to lose interest. I found her on fb but didn't add yet. What should I do?

Why on earth would you delete everything you wrote on an anonymous small forum? I'm sorry but if you're that soft that you would run from what you write online, even when its not tied to you, give up on women.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:46 pm 
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I am more surprised that these guys were successful reaching the egg when they were a sperm

It's all about the elite percent 8)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:16 pm 
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they think EVERYTHING is one itis.
I ALWAYS think it's oneitis when it comes down to this: There's this one girl...->We've never gone out or kissed...->I really like her...->I don't want her to think I'm needy/clingy.

I don't care if you are gaming multiple girls, which most guys say to deflect accusation of it, that type of thinking likely oneitis.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 9:06 am 
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Again with the fucking editing of the initial post.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:44 pm 
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She probably has a boy friend.


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