So here's my problem....

My Ex split up with me after 5 years last month and she keeps messeging me to see how i'm doing. My problem is a few things! Confusion as to why she's doing this and or is she trying to make me think about her? And tell her how i still feel. Yes i love her still and sometimes i am finding it hard, ii did all the natural bullsht of deleting her of all social media etc... And said i needed time yet she text. I've slept with a few girls since the brake up to see if that'd help but it doesn't i go to the gym and do everything i know of to keep her of my mind. But everytime she messeges me my feelings come flooding in again. I never message her first though! I just wanted to get this off my chest and get your point of view.

Thanks Ap

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

Block her. Unfriend her. Stop following her.

Problem solved.

IF you don't want to get with her block her bro... IT clearly hurts you

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5 years is a long relationship so makes sense you guys are still talking here and there. But this really only works if you are totally over her and happy to be broken up. I still remain in casual contact with my ex of 3-4years but i only do so because I have zero romantic feelings or intentions. It's more of a friendly relationship, something like "we were together so long I still care about you and want to see you do good" kind of thing. Some of these PUA will tell you to just block and freeze out like she's some 2 week fling but in reality we all know that's not the case.
Also the circumstances behind breakup are important. Did you catch her with some guys balls deep in her mouth? Than maybe freeze out is justified.

Sounds like you wanna get back with her, that's something you need to think long and hard about, but don't cheat yourself keep going and seeing other women. It took 4 girls since my ex for me to finally find one I thought was hotter and better than the ex. Their out there but it's rare you are gonna find something better right away. Your gonna have to wade through a few sluts and drama queens before you find something worth locking down again.

I have a thread in the relationship section on getting over an ex and dealing with this shit. It's called "To the guys who want their ex back!"

Seems like you've made a good start.

PS: she's doing it to feel wanted. She wants to see if she could still have you if she wanted to, which she's happy with.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Thanks for the reaponse guys!

I see a lot of people say freeze out etc... But for the people who have experienced a good relationship, that has lasted so long i am sorry but it is not possible if you've broken on good terms. Adapt, you speak for experience, and yes i still love her very much! But towards the end we both questioned our relationship and grew apart, got lazy if you will. It has taking me a month to realise this, these girls i have slept with i felt empty and meaningless and feel bad for them becuase i couldn't give them what they needed because my mind isn't in the right place. Yet they still want to see me again! Maybe that is a good way to pick up women think about others whilst your with them . J. Daniels i have read that, it is a very well written article and it does help me sometimes. I never speak to her first ever, she spoke to me sunday and yesterday and in the end i just said " there is not point me persuing you now, as its clearly one sided" and ended the conversation there. I did act like an Afc and considering i've neen here since 2010 i should of known better.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

which nobody ever does. One person decides to break up, and the other gives in.
Because you have oneitis

Just tell her to come over and you can cook dinner together... then fuck her.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

J.Daniels, we did we sat we talked about it and come to an agreement. Which i disagree with now, i agree i do have oneitis! Which is quite normal at the start. What if she says no i look like a fool and an Afc again.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

If she says no, then you say "Ok, well give me a call when you change your mind becaues I'd love to see you again" and you wait until she reaches out, and do the same thing. Then same again.

LET GO OF THE OUTCOME! Read the thread and work on GETTING OVER HER. Stop trying to get her back.

You're worrying too much and you're too invested, you NEED her to act a certain way or you fall apart. The need for anything, gets in the way of everything. Stop that shit. (Sarabellum, if you come on here to justify neediness yet again, fuck off. Thank you. Lol)

Stop viewing her as the only girl who can come along and make your life worth living. Wanna know the real situation? You're cool as fuck, and you're inviting this girl to come along and have a slice of that. How generous are you? THAT is how you need to view it from now ok, ok?

I've been there, man. I've been there multiple times. Take it from me, move on. I know you're thinking "yes but she's different to the girls you've been with" which is another reason why you should read my thread.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

I call bullshit, as a person who has experienced that. If you wanna rekindle and remain friends, there's plenty of time. And it's not immediately after you've broken up.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

This is why she does it man. She's getting something out of it. She's getting to feed off of the remainder of your emotional reserves.

What you're going to learn is, a girl can only leave a guy(unless he's a complete asshole or took some terrible action unless her) if she knows he was be absolutely devastated if she goes. The moment she feels like that guy won't be able to be himself without her, she won't be the same girl and one of those "out of no where" things is emanate.

So, if you're responding to her you're being silly and won't find yourself getting over it or moving on to something better anytime soon. Grow some balls, ignore her and move on with your life. It will be a challenge, but you'll be a better, higher quality, and attractive man for doing so. Resulting in your attracting a higher quantity of quality women.

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Appreciate the reply guys, after sitting in a room and thinking about the situation, some kind of meditating I have kinda grew a set and deleted her number. I've also started speaking to some very interesting women again. I've been reading a lot on the forums especially with text game, it has worked wonders I've got a girl coming round tonight one on Sunday and then meeting another when she's back from her parents house next week. Which brings me to this question, I know it's not related to this post but.... Since you guys are here this girl I'm meeting next week keeps saying she finds me attractive etc... But it's going to be a week before we meet and I'm worried that we'll lose attraction or just fade out, unfortunately we can't meet any sooner as she's in uni and her she hardly ever see's her parents. So I guess what I'm asking is how to keep it fresh so we don't stop talking?

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

I have a guide on that, but the basic jist of your question is to just text her every 2-3 days to keep that spark going.

Also, props for doing the right thing.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

good luck man....takes some balls to cut off someone like that. time will ease the pain....


sometimes i wish i could do the same....but our situation is complicated by our daughter so im pretty much forced to retain "professional" contact lol....

knowing that each person is already with a new partner or moved on helps too....i would never take back agirl after she fucked other guys. never never never....

Thanks RC, sorry to hear that adapt! Must be hard when children are involved. Keep working on yourself man it can only get better.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.