weirdest fucking night EVER



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:53 am 
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so I met this girl on tinder, who was totally dtf. she looked good from the profile pic, and the pics she sent me. I thought she was an 8, with a nice body. then, it turns out she's kind of chubby. no big deal, I like a little meat on the bones if you know what I'm sayin.. then when I go and meet her to pick her up, it turns out she's quite a bit uglier than I had originally thought. Perhaps she used something or a weird camera angle to make herself look hot in the pictures, but I don't like to judge. she also turns out to be very awkward, which I kind of expected, but not to this degree. We got back to my place, and I made a dick move, and asked her if the pictures she sent me were really her (i mean I can see a resemblance, but the hotness delta was considerable!!). she turns out to be emotionally fragile, and begins to just sit there, with beady eyes moving back and forth, as if she's trying to process something (or maybe more like I was going to murder her), not moving, and totally silent. It was the most awkward moment of my life, where we go in a back/forth of her saying stuff like "are you disappointed in me, do you want me to leave" and me saying anything and everything to not make her feel bad. She then proceeds to cry. I felt bad, so I put my arm around her, because I'm a goddamn gentleman who appreciate woman of all shapes and sizes. She's totally turned off by this point, and tries to brush me away, but I convinced her to watch a movie with me.

we watched the movie. i had my arm around her. she eventually warmed up to me, letting me squeeze her boobs, and playing hard to get when I try to unbutton her blouse. at this point, I don't know why I'm still trying to fuck a woman that I don't find attractive. I suppose it's been such a long dry spell that I simply don't give a fuck. After the movie, we cuddle, make out. She continues to play hard to get. Eventually, we're naked, she blows me for a while, and I start fucking her. But for whatever reason, I'm not feeling ANYTHING. I don't know if I'm small, or if she's loose (probably both), but it was like dropping a hot dog into an underground well. no matter how hard, or how fast I was thrusting, I was not feeling it, even though she was beneath me moaning with pleasure, and my hip is thrusting against hers with considerable force. After a few minutes of this nonsense, my dick starts to get soft. (I don't know if it was ever hard that night actually). She tries to blow me to get it back up. It in fact does the opposite, and goes COMPLETELY flaccid. I am successful in reviving it, but it seems like as soon as she touches it, the blood starts to deflate from my dick like a balloon. We eventually just give up, and cuddled. I start fingering her, but she's not sensitive at all down there, and gets dry easily. So we just went to sleep..

in summary:
met hot girl on tinder
girl turns out to be not hot at all, and super awkward
girl starts crying on my bed, and makes me feel like a dick
I try to not be a dick and watch movie with her
we make out and fuck
my dick dies and stays dead (hopefully simply because I didn't find her attractive)
we cuddle and fall asleep

I have another girl, who's an actual 8, with whom I have a much stronger connection. we went on our first date today, and though we didn't kiss due to unusual circumstances, I can still tell she's pretty into me. so all is not lost, although my faith in junior is in disrepair.


Last edited by spectastic on Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:56 am 
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These things happen dude. I've had similar situations where ive met a girl from internet/tinder and it turns out they should be a fucking professional photographer. I've generally learnt that if all a girls photos are from weird angles and strange filters, usually means theyre unattractive in real life. But to be fair, im like you, im attracted to all shapes and sizes so im not that bothered. As long as they have a pretty face ill be attracted.

And dont worry about your old chap. as long as u can still get hard when you wake up or watching porn then there's no physical issue. She was just a boner killer for you. Kudos for dedication to it tho!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:09 am 
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I don't know if I'm small, or if she's loose (probably both), but it was like dropping a hot dog into an underground well. no matter how hard, or how fast I was thrusting, I was not feeling it, even though she was beneath me moaning with pleasure, and my hip is thrusting against hers with considerable force. After a few minutes of this nonsense, my dick starts to get soft. (I don't know if it was ever hard that night actually). She tries to blow me to get it back up. It in fact does the opposite, and goes COMPLETELY flaccid. I am successful in reviving it, but it seems like as soon as she touches it, the blood starts to deflate from my dick like a balloon.
LMFAO

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:30 am 
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tested out the plumbing. it works!!! hooooorayyyy


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:22 pm 
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When you get that lay that just seems to good too be true its because it probably is. That 9 that seems to be coming over to your house just a bit too easily isn't a 9. Its usually actually the 7's online that turn out to be the 9's.

Anyones thats ever done online has had this experience, thats why you gotta get them on SPAM or FaceTime before meeting.

As far as the sex. Its her. Don't beat yourself up.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:19 am 
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she's actually much prettier without makeup. still chubby, but better looking


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