It was over 9 bloody months ago now my ex ended with me saying it was the distance. At the time she said it was just that and she didn't cheat on me etc... I trusted her as shes a good girl. Made a couple of boring oneitus posts trying to move on etc...

Now I have not spoken to her for months now, yet still she usually comes into my mind as soon as i wake up, so i try thinking of something else.

~~~ Lately ~~~

All I can think about is... the last time we had sex, why did she stop saying she was soar? Did she end it because she did cheat on me and would never admit it. Did she say she wanted to be alone because she was ashamed of herself. Did she resist on going out with the next guy because she cheated on me when we did distance? Did she cheat ? Before christmas ? The night before she ended with me?

Fuck knows, and i know i should not care. Yet, I try not to think about her, but it just keeps popping up. I guess investing so much time into a girl you do want to know what went wrong and can't accept a lame bs excuse....

Are these thoughts still normal? 9 months later?

Yes those thoughts are normal.

Until you start getting laid by another girl regularly your reptile brain will keep on ruminating on your last source of sex.

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maybe 1-2 months could be considered normal, BUT NINE! my friend time should have healed most of your wounds by now. try and focus on the future, not the past! especially sex of all things, instead of any of the romance.

trying to dwell on the last time you had sex is extremely sentimental and a waste of your thought process.

same with wondering if she cheated. i can sympathize with the thoughts, but its best to not even think about them. i guess it wasn't fair because for me, i KNEW she cheated so i had closure, which is almost always better than wondering "what if"

drop her from you mind man! things didn't work out for a reason, and I'm my experience and from what I've seen in many social circles, not many relationships will ever rekindle after 9 months apart.

I had a friend who is hungup for 2 years over the ex. I gave all the advice a normal person could possibly need. The friends' problem was being complacent and not wanting to do anything about it. Defeatist mentality. Feeling helpless, all that crap.

You're also complacent. You don't go out, you don't meet what by your standards are quality women. And judging by how long it's taking you to get over her, this deep core neediness and lifestyle issues were probably the reason she did what she did to you in the first place.

I'm willing to bet most of your nights include either video game sessions, getting drunk with 2 guys friends and going home alone or lousy lays in the company of beer goggle "hot party girls".

So no. It's not normal. Far from it. And creating a topic every few months won't change that.

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I just don't think it helps at the moment as I have quite a serious illness and it makes me depressed and feel as though at the moment that I am a hopeless piece of shit. I start a new job next week having had some time off so hopefully that will bring my mood up.

The girls I have fucked did nothing for me at all. Maybe I do need to go out a bit more and seek better woman. Every time i have gone out in the last few months Iv fucked girls because I can, and not clicked with anyone else. Maybe that's my state of mind, or just not found someone suitable enough yet.