Hello all,

I was wondering how you guys would have recommended dealing with some of these shit tests, here are a couple of examples of what I'm referring to. I realize I didn't do a good job dealing with them, but please don't crucify me too hard for it, I would instead prefer to keep the thread focused on how to do better next time.
It's kind of like a double bind, she brings up another date, and if I'm mad I fail her shit test, but if I'm like, "No I don't mind" I also feel like I fail the shit test by being a push-over. If I don't respond then she's like "I thought you were mad cuz you didn't respond!"





another example:

We plan to meet up and play some poker at 7pm

Scanned your other posts. Get shit test out of your mind forever, because these and those were not shit tests. Don't ask a girl who is not your gf who she went X place with. Just asking to make things awkward. Someone else can give you more specifics

Edit: I only asked because she brought it up casually and I thought she just went with friends or family or something. If somebody just randomly tells you that they "went out" and you missed out on it, it's just a natural knee jerk reaction to ask whom they went with. I never ask a girl who she goes on dates with etc.

I edited the original post so as to make that more clear and avoid mis-understanding.

No need to edit anything. It's a question that adds nothing. Do you know her mom or friend? If she had said her mom, what would your response be from that? What I'm saying is when you're just dating a girl, she may be going on dates with other people. So don't go into specifics and ask questions if she said she was out or did something. If she says she went to dinner last night, dont ask her with who. It's an innocent question and I'm not even thinking you expected to hear it was date, but its question that will lead to awkwardness. So never ask who they went to x place with. IF it does come up, don't not respond, joke and move on to something else.

Okay, good point, Thanks, I will keep that in mind.

Do you really think it wasn't a shit test though? Why else would she have randomly brought up the fact that she went on another date and then told me I missed out. Doesn't that come off pretty weird? Like "Hey, I just went on a date with some else! You missed out! LOL... OMG was that weird? Are you mad? How come you didn't respond, you must be mad!"

No. Not a shit test. If you didnt ask with who, it would have gotten weird. If you had joked it off and moved on it wouldnt have gotten weird.

Well I didn't respond... So you are saying that I should have specifically responded to her message about it being "a date from Match", to correct my mistake of asking whom she went with, by joking it off?

And why would she have mentioned her going out on another date in the first place? That's an incredibly socially awkward thing to do, to go up to date1 and tell them that they missed out on going out on date2. So she's just that awkward and weird and there was no hidden motive behind it whatsoever?

I'm just trying to understand

Thanks.

Yes, you shouldve continued the conversation and not disappeared on an awkward note. It would just make you look like it bothered you.

Also, she didn't say "you missed out on a great date I just had!" She said you missed out on some biscuits. And tbh Red lobster's biscuits are pretty good. Look at it this way, if I'm your friend (as a guy) and I go on a date to a comedy club, the comedy is good but the date is shit. I text you, hey you missed out on some great comedians...am I telling you the date was good? I'm not telling you the date was awesome, I'm telling you the comedy was good. That's all.

At the end of the day, even though she went on a date, she was still talking to you and bringing up stuff to joke about. So it couldnt have been this great date to make you jealous of. Frankly, she could have wanted to bring it up to make you jealous (not as a shit test but to see if you cared about her), she could have just been trying to bring up a joke about the biscuits to talk to you, she could have been just saying shit.

Yea, I guess that makes sense. Thank you for putting it in that light.

But on a similar perspective, if I texted my buddy "Hey you missed out on some great comedy tonight" He would probably text back and say "How did I miss out? I was never invited..."

Then your friend would be a socially awkward guy

This isn't a shit test. You are a friend. She wouldn't have said a date from match if you were more than a friend, she would say, "Just a friend." This is all confirmed with your other example where she doesn't give a damn about you falls asleep and won't commit to another date.
Normal girls without a lot of problems don't do this.

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Normal girls dont tell you jokes?

This wasn't a shit-test, lol.

I agree with neo. And yeah, don't ask this kind of questions.

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I have a hard time wrapping my head around not inviting somebody, then telling them that they missed out as not being awkward.

Okay, maybe we have different definitions of shit test, but if she's doing it merely as a means to see if you get jealous, then she's doing typical girly immature shit. I call that a shit test. I guess others here do not. Maybe she was doing that, maybe she wasn't. I don't know.