You're right. It's not simple as it seems. When a hot woman talks, we instinctively listen with puppy eyes. Moreover, some influential messiahs of seduction here (I'm 100% pretty sure that around 3 of those nagging man bitches are keyboard jockeys) preach that we should listen when a woman talks.

It takes quite a measure of practice and repetitive actions to condition your body to focus on ESCALATION instead of listening when a woman gets the urge to talk non-stop. You eye fuck her. You hold her hands. You massage her shoulder. You blow warm breaths in her ear lobe. You rub your leg against her leg. You rub your elbow on her breast. You rub your hands at her belly just above her pussy area and so on. And most importantly, you shut up.

If approach anxiety is difficult to bust for many of the newbies here, I think busting escalation anxiety is even more difficult. Pebbles/Dragula pointed this out. Since I have minimal approach anxiety, it really improved my game a lot when I have busted my escalation anxiety.

It's a good pattern. When a woman begins to talk incessantly, ESCALATE hard core. Don't be an idiot and show her that you're a better (verbal) communicator than she is.

It's mainly the nonverbals that make us masculine bros. It's the nonverbals.

Lol... so this is the retail bank picker upper!... I remember that. Possibly the most retarded post of this forum's history. Actually worse than the Vegas guy and even the 38 year old's 3 years of self mockery. To the village idiot:... you haven't challenged the op's post. You disregarded and ignored it, and then injected your only imaginary idea of pick up the rub rub.

... and you've expanded upon your bank - pick up lounge fantasies to SPAM machine kiosks. Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? Stop blaming your lonlieness on others and consider that you are possibly the least socially aware retard of any social group who tests everybody's tolerance for pain.

To others reading. Chicken or the egg? There is no way to know whether this idiot ignores the World around him and fabricates his own "reality" because he is a village retard or whether he is a village retard because he ignores the World around him and fabricates his bs... but it doesnt matter. One feeds the other. It is absolutely too late for this knucklehead but anybody who can sense this vicious cycle in him should consider a full stop and and a change of direction.

The original poster is just talking about emotions involved with building a sexual connection with talking(yes, it is highly doable and often necessary before physical). The original post had nothing to do with when to use physical instead of verbal. That's an entirely different matter you brought up. We're just talking about what to do when verbal communication is the move (even if physical is just 30 seconds later).

...one dimensional approach in poking and brainlessly molesting women with your hands.

^ Your post on the merits of physical escalations in not necessary. I think you are misguided in not understanding that communications is both a verbal, physical [and some would say] spiritual experience, not just physical. Anybody who has had any would tell you that.

^ Your post on the merits of physical escalations in not necessary. I think you are misguided in not understanding that communications is both a verbal, physical [and some would say] spiritual experience, not just physical. Anybody who has had any would tell you that.

I am sorry some of you cannot relate to the subject matter, as I am not sure if it is a linguistics issue. These are all ideas to consider and I was attempting to bring some light to, namely, a lack of discussion about the role of verbal communications [this includes the act of listening, didn't know I needed to be so blatant in pointing that out]. The physical component of escalation is different and still important but gets enough attention. That is not what this thread is about. What we say has an impact on others, this includes eye contact, tonality, syntax, word choice, and more. Hope some of you found the OP useful.

DA

@ Bank Sarger - Why make random points and inject them into threads that result in their derailment. You've been fighting the air with a stick by literally debating with yourself and misquoting posts. Now everybody's brain hurts. Go hijack someone else's thread next time, please. This is not how we Internet here.

To be a lover of women, you have to actually like them. This can be difficult when at times we don't even love ourselves ! This is usually due to stresses from the environment, and feelings of an inability to cope with situations. However, we can graze over a few of the common ones.

1. So if you feel stuck in a clutter of crap, I recommend you work on your goals more.

2. Then we have people who don't appreciate their lives at all. And I think that's most of us. Isn't it great not having to worry about where our next meal comes from ? Do you think people in this position even think much of sex ? How does fresh air on this Labor Day in USA [50 percent of our web traffic!] sound ? Probably going to a barbecue later, you jackass.

3. When thinking about women in your lives, and women that you're talking to when out-and-about, I think it is important for us to remember why we love chicks. They are so emotionally comforting, plus soft and cuddly, how can I top that ?

Women know that as men we have plenty of options, but it's really nice when you know what you like in a woman and communicate this on a more sophisticated verbal level. Think wit; The Big Picture. The men who have been dating for a while know what I'm talking about. This is the biggest problem that I see in most of our patrons' issues in their dating lives. So how can we work on being better talkers ?

Both Life and @ The Bar:

We aren't professional debaters or orators, but inviting pre-mediation into our lives works in changing habits. We need think more about what we say and do before we do it. Try to remember why we are talking to women when out at a bar. And think about adding value to situations and to your own life, simultaneously. Women love this. For the minority of you who don't care about women, for god's sake at least try to pretend like you do ! [maybe you'll become more emotionally healthy after that]. When you have this attitude towards women, and decide to make the switch over to being honest yet cordial, you will never get "friend-zoned".

And then you guys that get lost in the interactions. Having so much fun sometimes, and not going for a real pull. Logistics is half the thinking and for some, waiting. You should have an idea of how you want your night to "flow" and how she will be a part of it. Some real questions that you may consider from this approach -- How can I make her friends feel comfortable for us to bounce to another location ? Should I speak with them more or less ? How far away do I live ?

And sometimes the pull won't catch, no matter how much you want to reel. It was a perfect night, some of you may think. Women sometimes are attracted but won't share intimacy through sex because they didn't have time to shave ! Stop taking "rejections" so seriously.

In the end, you want to give her a story. This be if at the pub, club, or home, the hub. If you're ever, ever lost in your interactions with women, think about your situation in terms of a verbal dialogue of what the woman would tell her friends. " One thing led to another. . ." is usually a good thing.

Happy Holidays from NY.

DA

It's both.

A good seduction contains a logical social aspect, an emotional aspect, and a sexual aspect. It's stupid to try to talk about which is better when the best seductions contain all three.

To be a lover of women, you have to actually like them. But first, I want to explore what may be blocking people from that. For one, I think this can be difficult when at times we don't even love ourselves. Does this sound like you? Maybe. I've found that being stressed out makes it difficult to deal with people in general. We want to be level-headed when talking to women. A lot of us have issues bundled up that hinder our game. A few of the common ones I've seen—

1. If you feel stuck in a clutter of crap, I recommend you work on your goals more.

2. Then we have people who don't appreciate their lives at all. And I think that's most of us. Isn't it great not having to worry about where our next meal comes from? Do you think people in this position even think much of sex? And how does fresh air on this Labor Day in USA (50 percent of our web traffic!) sound? You're probably going to a barbecue later, you jackass. Appreciation of life leads to better overall life satisfaction and this one is a no-brainer. Yet we always forget.

3. Let's try to apply this to a night out. When thinking about women in your lives, and women that you're meeting, I think it is important for us to remember why we love chicks. Can't live them, can't live without them, guys. So get your stuff together, and please, put a little more thought into your interactions, guys. And I only say this because I worry about a crowd of "PUAs" that come from a bad reference point.

We live in a strange time period now. And some say it's for the better, and some for the worse. But we can agree dating dynamics are different. Women are less secure in their relationships and intimate affairs with men. And they know that as men we have plenty of options. So make a lady feel special please, it's really nice when you know what you like in a woman and communicate this on a more sophisticated verbal level. Think wit and what they call The Big Picture. The men who have been dating for a while know what I'm talking about. But the next step involves changing your patterns, which some have trouble doing more than others. Some have no desire.

Both Life and @ The Bar:

We aren't professional debaters or orators, but inviting pre-mediation into our lives works in changing habits. We need think more about what we say and do before we do it. Try to remember why we are talking to women when out at a bar. And think about adding value to situations and to your own life, simultaneously. Women love this.

For the minority of you who don't care about women, for god's sake at least try to pretend like you do (and I hope you'll maybe become emotionally more healthy after that). I'm not a fan of the anti-social behaviors suggested at times. When you have a more balanced, care-free attitude towards women, and decide to make the switch over to being honest yet cordial, you will never get "friend-zoned". Don't worry about "cock-magic".

And then to you guys that get lost in the interactions. The guys that are having so much fun sometimes and not going for a real pull. Let's explore how to get more proactive here. Logistics is half the thinking and for some waiting. You should have an idea of how you want your night to "flow" and how she will be a part of it. Some real questions that you may consider from this approach to meeting new women—"How can I make her friends feel comfortable for us two to bounce to another location? Should I speak with the friends more or less? How far away do I live? Is she having a good time? What is her idea of a good time and how can I use that information to escalate to an environment where we can be alone? Should I go for the kiss today or another time to save that feeling of catharsis?"

And sometimes the pull won't catch, no matter how much you want to reel. It was a perfect night— I think we can get inclined to think. What I do is not take every interaction personally. And when you do this, you take some weight off your shoulders. For example, there have been situations where women are sometimes attracted to us but won't share intimacy through sex that night because they didn't have time to shave their "cats". I suggest men stop taking "rejections" so seriously.

In the end, you want to give her a story. This be if at the pub, club, or at home. And if you're ever lost in your interactions with women, think about your situation in terms of a verbal dialogue of what the woman would tell her friends. "One thing led to another..." is usually a good thing.

Happy Holidays from NY.

DA

I have no need to qualify myself to you. And that's your opinion, and it's great that we have a diversity of them on this forum. I can see how the questions highlighted may not sit well with you, but these are quick fleeting thoughts that happen to be important to me as an idiosyncratic individual. The way I pull may be different than someone else, and probably is. Anyone that pulls will share a commonality and tell you that logistics is half of the game. When I'm opening, I'm all in. However, there's nothing wrong with awareness during our interactions. Why the push, guy? I still don't understand, coming from a CBT perspective at our game. I'd like to see you grow. How long have you been on our Forums now?