History - Been travelling a lot the last couple of years, and felt like I had to have one more adventure. Went last year and my girl friend hated me being away, got back and felt like shit in my job and felt like I had one last adventure to do. She wanted to move in with me and settle down and did not take it very well when I told her I was going away for 6 months again. She said she was fine with it, but later ended with me 2 days later.

I loved this girl, but I was so unhappy with my life as felt I had one more roll of the dice to play until I decide to settle down. I have just come to the end of my trip, feeling like I can live again. Actually wanting to now settle down as I have done what I wanted.

It's been a few months now, and when my gf ended with I tried to get her back but failed so I cut off all contact with her, she tried messaging me and I ignored it.

I spoke to her friend today and she spoke to her a couple of months ago and she thought she had a new boy friend, not sure if it was bf or seeing someone.... However, it has made me in a fucking mood all day.

In reality, I don't know her status, but one thing I do know is that I loved her and hated my life, and now I love my life and don't have her. So I guess it is easy to say go look for someone else, but tbf, I would love to have the opportunity to win this girl back as I could not fault her at all.

I was thinking of just casually texting her a random question and seeing if she replies, then getting a conversation in for a couple of days, then if shes single maybe meet up with her, or if she is seeing someone - then I have no fucking clue, guess i'l just have to deal with it? Or maybe hint that I still like her?

Anyone a pro at this?

Anyone who's a pro at this will tell you the same thing as me.

Never go back to an ex. You move forward in life by moving forwards, not backwards.

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RC - I would totally agree if it was a broken relationship, however it was a very good relationship, I just needed to leave her to get my life and career back on track, instead of slaving away at a shit job for hours that i hated.

How long were you with her for?

Why not just text her and ask how she is? You're not exactly gaming her. You already know her, and I assume you've already fucked her. Infact you were an exclusive couple were you not?

Call her.

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It was an average relationship. If it were very good you'd still be together.

Sometimes you meet "the right people at the wrong time". Plenty more right people out there for when the time is right.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Love is more powerful than being unhappy in a career.

Are you sure this ain't just a oneitus over an ex now that you're back home to normal life?

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I agree with Dragula.

I was in a relationship for 4 years when I decided I needed to go "see the world".
She didnt want to come with me and I didnt want her to come with me. After 6 months I came back and we moved in together. I realised after 2 weeks she wasn't the one and broke up with her...

Honestly, if you are completely fine with leaving your gf behind for such amount of time she aint the one for you man. At least not in my experience... We also had a "great" relationship...

I would suggest finding another girl, you shouldnt break her heart twice just because at this moment you "think" you love her.

Pick up seems like a chore in the beginning so people are more likely to try and get back with ex girlfriend's since chasing new women can be a little hard work...

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Didn't even read your post... Don't waste your time trying to get her back. Move on with your life. It's NEVER worth it.

Sounds more like Ego attachment than love.

Why? You are upset over news that she'd moved on. In the time between were you missing her? Likely not.

This is more narcissistic 'love", not real love.

Real love = Well you'd probably would have found a way to make it work, and if not you'd 'release' her so she could find happiness elsewhere.

Narcissistic love = You WANT someone, much like a possession - you want them for your own sense of vanity so you can feel good about yourself, and really don't care much for their welfare insofar as they can help you feel 'whole'. E.g. you hear an ex may have a new man in her life and 'freak out'

If you genuinely loved your life and were happy, you wouldn't be out there deliberately pursuing anyone. You would just let it come and take it as it comes.

Check out this link: viewtopic.php?f=25&t=190620

She wasn't good enough to make you not go on the 6 month trip and she still isn't. You're just more chemical imbalanced now than you were then. She's more than likely still the same exact girl and upon getting her you would become aware of it and begin feeling the same way all over again.

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Hey

Thanks guys, I get what you are saying, it's kinda weird because before i was expecting her to stay with me if i went off to travel, but now im back, i just see no reason not to settle down with her. I think another big part of it is that reading pick up shit i got into the mindset to sack of a girl and do what i want to do, too much, and having previosuly been fucked over by one ex gf, it made me believe that if i went off she would stil wait for me, bad balance i know.

I just decided to text her earlier, and we text for a couple of hours non stop, she said she thought i hated her, and that she was sorry for everything. I asked her if shes got a new boy friend yet, remaining in a jokey attitude, and she said no, she was seeing some guy but he lived 2 hours away so she decided to just be friends so it didn't turn out like me and her.

She then said that she went on my sisters facebook yesterday to see if she had any updates about me, which i thought...hmmmmm..... and i never text back for 6 hours now as fell asleep after my flight.

I am currently not saying no to any other offers or opportunities, but if there is a chance to get this girl back i cant see the problem. I need a serious game plan.

We need to create a Oneitus subforum section

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I get that it sounds like oneitus, but as i said, im open to other girls, got with a girl a couple nights ago, but we havnt exactly left on bad terms, and we suite really well. It was just me being stubborn thinking i was doing a good thing game wise.

it would easily be the most popular section. might crash the forum

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My Journey:viewtopic.php?f=22&t=192265