To make a long story short, I dated a girl for 3 weeks, and then got friend zone (aka, dead zoned) where the relationship hit rock bottom. According to one source, it says that dating requires escalation. Because I failed to escalate the fourth date which was no touching + a boring date, this lead to the relationship escalation going down hill.

When the line on the graph began to drop, we got into heated arguments over the phone and text for about two days. I then texted her ending the relationship (like an idiot), she got really upset. The knot came in my stomach, and the ship sailed. What was the mistake I made here, because at this point, I think the flames could have been saved. Was arguing with her making the bar drop, or was it because I didn't let her chase me? What caused the attraction to go downhill at this point, and what could I have done to save it?

Lol seems just like me..but without the arguing. The attraction you built up gave you the correct leverage for escalation to probably go all the way, but you failed to act on that and instead went with the relationship route. It's better to save dates until after having sex with her.
Go bowling, romantic dinner,movies after having sex not before, so much funner to do things that way.

Your mistake was not escalating. You already pointed it out.

Why would you take a girl out 4 times and not get physical? Were you waiting for her to do it, or something? You're the man - take the lead.

She was likely arguing with you because she was pissed at you for wasting her time...

I'd hardly call that a relationship... 4 dates without any physical contact?

I have had the same problems like the poster.dates that fizzle out.the problem is when i try to isolate after a date especially when it does not happen near my house i just blow it and sex chatting hurts my chances the few times i succeed is when i don't sex chat and i isolate.what should i change so that i get more sex from dates? Should i lead the girls to a sex location without giving an excuse? Suppose you want to use a hotel to fuck what excuse can you use?

Sounds to me like you guys didn't even have sex man. You sure this was a relationship? Sounds to me like dating that didn't go anywhere. The full connection wasn't even established.

I think you know your mistake. You didn't show that you wanted to be anything but a friend.

Charge it to the game and just stroll along. Next time man, show some sexual interest if there is any there,

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Not to ruin Op's thread but lol at the sex location. I think you need to relax and not worry about a sex location. Let the escalation and sex happen, whether it's in public, your car, in the back of a cab anywhere you think you will be comfortable. If you do it right she won't care where.

What do you mean by "physical?" Every time I gave her "the look", she would just say "not gonna happen". Please explain more by what you mean by physical.

Also, if I am in a 3 week relationship that hit rock bottom, does this throw me into the friend zone, or do I just have to start dating her again? The 4th date that went bad was what threw us off. If I had went to the movies, there would have been touching and kissing.

The first three dates, I used touching. After each date, I would give her "the look", and she would just say "not gonna happen."

4th date is what messed us up. We were supposed to go to the movies, and I picked a restaurant instead. Due to my lack of confidence, there was no touching, and it was boring.

Did I likely get tossed into the friend zone, or do I just have to continue dating her? How do I get her to kiss me?

Has there been any reconciliation? Meaning.. has SHE tried to contact you? If she hasn't I would instruct you to leave it alone. You don't need to be the one to initiate right now.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

I am very curious to see how your "the look" looks like. 100% serious.

What look where you even giving her? What were you trying to express?

Aside from that, I know like every guy out there does this but please avoid this awkward clichee of having the first kiss at the end of the damn date. Kissing should come naturally, at a highpoint, when you two are having the most fun.
That is never at the end.


Also, why are you calling it a relationship? 4 dates devoid of any form of intimacy... You're in as much of relationship with her as you are with your lamp. Excluding the fact that your lamp may have witnessed you masturbating a few times.

Oh, and how do you even get in a fight/argument with someone after only 4 dates? Like what is there even to argue about?

And somehow you think the movies would've been a better option..

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I Imagine it ended like this...

You sent her a message on whatapp, you then saw the "she is typing" thing going on for while, 5mins later, her reply is bigger than usual.

She is stating that she is not ready and she into her career right now. That you're a really cool guy bla bla and its not you. It's her.

Which means it's your fault you didn't get physical

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

I contacted her in person, and we've been texting back and forth slowly. I'm not seeing any signs that she wants to go out at this point. What should I do?

The flames were burning extremely bright on the first 3 dates. I used the touching technique, and she was having fun on each date. At the end of the date, I would give her a look in her eyes telling her I wanted to kiss her, and she wouldn't do it. The 4th date was the nail in the coffin. I picked a restaurant instead of the movies, because I was getting depressed that she wouldn't kiss me, and I was trying to build some sort of rapport about this. She got bored and started playing with her phone, and then there was an awkward silence for 20 minutes in the car as I drove her back. Two days later, we got in a heated argument, I said we were breaking up, I felt a knot in my stomach, and heard an eerie bell toll in my head (like in the movies when they execute people).

I call it a relationship, because according to my PUA studies, this was the stage I was in. The reason why we got into a heated argument, was because the intimacy was going downhill. She was giving mixed signals afterwards, and I ended the relationship out of depression like an idiot.

Is it still possible to get her back, or is it too late? She just sent me a text right now hinting she wasn't "feeling it". What do I need to do?

How do I get "physical" with the girl on dates? I used the touching technique, plus we were having a good time. I'm thinking it was the last date that caused the intimacy to go downhill, because if I had picked the movies, something would have happened.

What do I need to do to prevent this in the future, and is it possible to get her back, or is it too late?

If you call 3 kissless dates "flames burning extremely bright", what do you call a normal first date when you kiss her half way through, have a good time and then optionally go back and have a coffee at your place?
You don't give her looks man. That's not how you go for a kiss.
Trust me, I'm 90% certain it wouldn't have went any better had you chosen the movies.
Do you understand how long 3-4 dates without showing explicit sexual interest means?


She started playing with her phone and that served only to deepen that feeling of helplessness and desperation you were already experiencing. It's a snowball effect that started building up since date #1, because you were too afraid to lose her to act on your desires.

I'm also pretty certain no PUA studies will advise you to consider her a relationship / girlfriend before you've had sex. You didn't even kiss. You know what two people who are not physically intimate going for dinner are? friends. They're friends.

A kiss is a form of physical intimacy. Once you break that barrier you're dating. After you've had sex and feel everything is cool about this girl, then you consider a relationship if that's what you want.

You don't realize it now, but having an argument after 4 dates like this and acting the way you did portrays an absurd amount of investment and desperation, and there's just nothing less sexy than that.

You're done here. Move on. I wouldn't even focus on dating if I were you. I advise working on your inner game, you lack it entirely. You put waaay too much effort in trying to get a girl to like you.
Even if you were to get this chick, it wouldn't have ended well for you, considering your onitis predisposition.

PS: Who paid for these dates?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.