Gentlemen, a brother is in need of some help.

Putting down the ground facts. At University, cute girl arrives, spend the whole year getting to know her, start spending time together, spending more and more time, I finally make a move. She says she felt the same. Currently on Summer Holiday from University.

We're both in different countries, we'll see each other again in late August/early September. So, we're texting back and fourth, phone conversations are lasting for about 3/4 hours. Talking about shit we usually would. She always sounds happy whenever I'm on the phone with her. However, I feel like I'm getting to emotionally attached without even a title on our relationship. She's everything I want in a girl.

Before we broke up for the holidays, she said she was scared because, 'feelings can change over a few months period'. I brought up that with her last night, I asked her if she feels things have changed. She said no. Just a straight no. I've been told by her that I'm not easy to read and I do admit I don't usually open up that easily. She told me she was happy I asked her last night about that.

I'm kinda feeling lost with different thoughts going through my head though.

Firstly, I feel like I'm the one being needy and clingy. I can back off, but I don't know how long for. I usually feel like I'm the one texting first to initiate the conversation. Should I just hold back for a little, see if she messages first? How do I get her to kinda chase?

Secondly, I can't seem to get her to open up. I usually talk about how I'm feeling or past memories. But then whenever I ask her, it's like a barrier that is so damn high. I wanna ask her about her past, but I don't want her to discuss something that could be uncomfortable with her. I know her past relationship was kinda off, she just said she wasn't happy. Am I just probably being selfish? Will she come around to speak about things in her own time?

Cheers in advance for any advice boys

Well you certainly do sound like the girl in this relationship.

No offence intended.

You can't make someone open up to you, and she's politely told you things haven't changed... She's in another country... There's a geographical barrier here... What do you expect?

This is not your girlfriend (not sure why you posted it in relationships).

I'm not sure why you're not out with other girls, or at least pursuing options... She doesn't want to make things exclusive --- and whether you know it or not, this means she's free to date over in her neck of the woods (and probably is).

You should be doing the same.

How far did you two go physically?

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

That's the thing. It's been about a month and I'm pretty sure we both want the same thing. But obviously, being away, I'm not gonna put a title on anything just yet. I'm almost certain she isn't interested in anyone else. It only went to kissing, nothing further.

I know that she wants me to put a title on it. But I just can't. It doesn't seem right, being this far away and making her a girlfriend over the phone.

Ok then. So you've already decided this.

What are you asking? Sorry to be blunt... but it sounds like you've figured this out?

I guess I was just asking what can I do to not come across clingy. I suppose I'm just really asking what can I do come across as less "needy" or attached. I know she loves when I call or text, but at the same time, I don't want her to think I'm settling and becoming soft.

My bad for not putting the point across straight. No worries dude, being blunt and straight forward is probably the best to stick it to me.

Shit! I guess what I'm kinda asking is how can I implement a push/pull routine or technique. If that is the right thing to use in this situation?

So - in your words she wants a relationship and so do you... You're maintaining contact by calling and video chatting and texting. You don't want a relationship.... but:

She's yours if you want her.......... yet you want to use a push-pull technique?

I'm seriously not trying to be hard on you here but I don't understand why you won't just pull the trigger here rather than play games. Is it that you just want to sleep with other people locally while keeping things going with her?

Nobody likes games.

Personally, I wouldn't do the LTR thing... It rarely works out, there are trust issues, etc.

I would pull the trigger, however, there's distance right now. I wanna wait until the end of next month, when I'll see her again and do stuff we done before we went on holidays. But at this point of time, I just don't want her to lose interest. That's why I was thinking of the Push/Pull technique.

I see where you're coming from. From my eyes and looking at it from a outside point of view. It's secure. I just wanna get advice on how to keep her interested. Like I said, I feel like I'm making most of the effort. At first I thought I just wanted to sleep with her. But based on how close we became, after I made the move and then talking everyday. I just want her.

How do I maintain her interest without coming across as clingy?
How should I feel that I'm making the first calls/messages, whatever?

Have you banged her yet?

Do you get sexual during conversations and messaging?

Does she send you sexy pictures?

So far the two of you just sound like 'BFFs' at summer camp...

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Kissed her and yeah sexual texts/conversations. Haha, interesting perspective

Wait... You haven't slept with her?

No

I called that shit put.


Keep everything sexually charged, when you meet again pound that ass flat.

Do that at least 30-40 times; THEN worry about what to label it....

Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That changes everything. You do not make any girl your girlfriend until you've done this.

What if she sucks in bed? Has a bad smell? Jeez man.