Hi guys,

I don't know what to do and I need your help.

I'm currently working with a girl and we make a great team at our company. She is really nice. We lunch always together, we talk a lot about everything and sometimes we exchange text messages while outside work. Outside work she has lots of guys (she says that are friends) and girls inviting her for dinner, cinema and so on, so she is always busy. She’s single and I’m too.

Also, she usually makes some kino, touching me in the arms/hands before start telling some kind of story and we also make a lot of eye contact while talking about personal or professional stuff.

I know that she has lots of male friends outside work but I don’t know how she behaves with them.

We are spending a lot of time together over the last months so I am start having some questions in my mind. My problem is that if I show interest and she rejects, there’s an huge chance that things won’t be the same again and could damage our work. I’m at an important position with a bright future ahead and I don’t want to ruin everything.

How should I know if she is interested in something more than a good friendship/working partner without taking risks or putting our work in danger?

She is not stupid and I am worried that if I invite her to dinner or something else outside work she would start thinking that I want something else from her and things could become weird (because we see each other every day) and damage our work.

Is there any shitty test that I could do? any ideas?

This is all that you should be thinking about. Don't let a girl be your downfall when it comes to your career. Keep it professional and keep your paycheck.

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Usually not a good idea to shit where you eat. Look around when you're walking around some time. There are women EVERYWHERE.

I never understand people that come here and ask about coworkers.
why her? why not all those other, risk-free women?
If she is the one that initiates something (for example: takes your cock out and starts sucking it) then let it continue.
other than that, forget it.

Statistically speaking though, meeting someone through work is a far better option and is more likely to lead to marriage than at a bar, day game or online. More people meet their spouses through work, than through cold approach, or complete stranger situations (day game, night game, online etc). Work is only behind social circle meetings.

That aside, you're not gonna lose your career if you ask a woman out to dinner, and you move on if she doesnt accept or is uncomfortable. You can ask her out, if she accepts fine, if she doesnt just resume like normal and dont make it weird. Worst case scenario for rejection, is she will accept (I know most girls at work agree to dinner with guys they dont like, then they just drop hints or friendzone him at the dinner). If you ask her out and she says she's not interested, just act normal. If she is a nutcase and goes complaining to HR that you asked her out and didnt creep on her, she's a nutcase. And yeah you can risk your career like that, but you can also risk your career on a cold approach girl crying rape. It's not a big deal, and your manager isnt going to fire you or you lose points at work for asking someone to dinner. Just dont be a creep and dont offend anyone.

It's really not a big deal. Go to dinner with her, you can even act like its a friend/coworker thing and look for clues that she's interested outside of the work place. If not, keep it friendly. If you get her and you break up, keep it peaceful. I work in a professional setting and I've been around guys and girls who dated and they were just fine.

I swear this "Pick Up" forum has become about Coworker game, Oneitis game, and the infamous fiction game.

One day we'll get back to actual pick up.

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Great response by neo87. Couldn't have said it better myself. Usually, relationships with coworkers should be avoided. Even if she is interested and evererything goes well, there is a risk that you:

1. Can't focus on your job. If you guys are all over each other it will be difficult to concentrate.

2. Your romance will end, and one of you will be butthurt and once again you will find it hard to focus on your job.

So if you succeed with that girl, make sure you arrange so you don't have to work together anymore.

Well, obviously if I invite her for dinner (like every other male friend of her does), 2 things could happen: I have big success or she friendzones me right at the beggining (and that could be weird even I say that this is just an innocent co-worker dinner).

I was expecting from this topic some ideas/hints to understand if she is interested in me before asking her out for dinner, like for example in the middle of a conversation saying something like "we would make a great couple and live happily forever! ahahah" and joke while watching her reaction, I don't know. Any shitty test would be useful.

My problem is that there is already some kino and eye contact, but I don't know if that happens because she likes me or just because she is very confortable with me and happy about how things are going at work.

Dont pursue this chick. My disclaimer is if you're gonna ask a coworker out, you gotta be somewhat normal and chill. If you're talking shit test or think that a joke and watching her reaction will tell you something, you're gonna be the type of guy who makes it weird. You're not gonna know she likes you as more than a friend at work. In most cases she'll keep it friendly even if she does like you.

It's simple to ask a friend to dinner in a friendly way. You can ask her to drinks after work as a friend. "My day was so long, I need a drink, let's do a happy hour afterwards." I go out for drinks with female coworkers alone all the time if I want to check a new place or need a drink. And they go out with guys for drinks and dinner all the time. It's a friendly/coworker thing. If hanging with chicks as friends sounds foreign to you, you're not gonna pull it off naturally. I'm not saying to tell her "I want to take you out to dinner." Make it casual. "Hey what are doing after work on Friday? I want to check out this sushi place downtown but I need someone to come with, come along."

As a side note, if you are going to shit where you eat, I'd say be a social guy at work. Invite people to happy hours and plan stuff with your friends at work. Tbh, I've shitted where I eat and never ran into any problems. But thats because I invite coworkers out alone or in groups. And if there is a girl at work I'm interested in, I just invite her to tag along for drinks after work, to get a bite or on a group movie thing.

What's fiction game? Pure theory?

Its an inside joke with me and a few other members.

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Agreed,

When you are lazy to chase it, it's easier to just take the fool's mate.

This is how most normal people meet i guess. If you want better choice, more options, a better chance at meeting an elite type of girl, you have to break free from small ponds at work and expand to social environments.

Being socially liberated is what most normal guys never obtain.

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What's wrong with meeting women everywhere? If you primarily date women at work, then yeah you're coming from scarcity. But...if you primarily date women from the bars, its scarcity too, because you can only meet women this way because you dont have a normal social life. Same with online. Dating from one pond whether it be online, day game or night game, or work is bad. But none is really better than the other. Meet women everywhere.

Agreed. Diversify. If my work place had a gorgeous girl. I would defo flirt with her and what not. But if it might effect my career... I would be wary and consider holding out.

The OP is making threads about risking his career when there is so many 'ponds' (risk free.)

Pick up isn't about sarging for me anymore. I'm always doing weird eye contact shit to girls going about my day whether it be day, night, at a restaurant, traveling.

It's just people that that depend on their work place only, i see a problem

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Fiction game is strong yo.


@OP:
Stating interest in a co-worker or woman in general is nothing that should "ruin" a relationship, be it professional or otherwise.

What does ruin relationships of that kind is guys going full awkward by being rejected. And that's usually because when they do state that interest it's at a point where they're already way to invested.

What I'm saying is that it doesn't have to become weird one way or the other, but it can.

If you think you can handle it, do it.

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