Hello, gentleman

I've read that quite a number of times "you should have a strong frame"; "you beat her objections by having a stronger frame"; etc.

Exactly what is this stronger frame?

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The stronger frame comes from knowing that you achieve your objectives with women. They then simultaneously feed of of this knowing that you possess, and they FUCKING LOVE IT. There is nothing pushy or arrogant about it from your perspective, it's just a smooth knowing that you're a man in demand and women en masse respect you and want to hang with you...............badly.

Stronger frame, to put it simple, it's just believing in your own reality. If you do, women will follow that frame. Like the other day, this chick told me I look like a 4 years old with my fedora. Guess what happened? I wore it again and again because I know I look ridiculous good in it. That confident frame is contagious and other women also gave me compliment on the hat.

Women will always challenge your frame to gain control of the interaction. Nice guys tend to break and got sucked into those women's frames. Assholes don't. They do what they want. They don't give a shit about other's opinions. Women are attracted to them because their frames are unbreakable. It poses challenge and make it interesting for them.

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Your frame equals your mindFRAME and is pretty much the internal "feeling" that you have about yourself. The feeling that is a direct influence on your mindset.

I teach by the quote: Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character(frame), and your character becomes your destiny.

Take a man that thinks weak limited thoughts about himself and you will be looking at a man who has a weak limited frame. Take a man who thinks highly of himself, his talents, capabilities, looks, and life and you will be looking at a man with a strong frame.

Its directly influenced by your mindset. And by taking bold actions, walking away from women who waste your time, and thinking the right thoughts about yourself you can alter your frame.

And just like a man that works out, its tough to see developments in your body because you see yourself everyday. Other people will notice far before you do. Your mentality is the same way. Its a gradually change that will usually go unnoticed by the man thinking the thoughts that will lead to him developing a stronger frame.

And depending on where you are mentally, it could take anywhere from 3 months to a 3 years to properly adjust your mindFRAME to one that will give you a higher level of success with women. Just as it takes a 500 pound man longer than a 200 pound man to get in shape. Are you mentally 500 pounds or 200 pounds? Thats the question.

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In short, you're unshakeable in your convictions, and grounded to your very being. The man you are isn't contingent on the external world. You embrace your masculinity and feel no shame about it. You conduct yourself with integrity and act congruently with how you feel, whilst also having a humble air to you.

Stay away from PUA junk that imbues the idea that your frame should best/beat everyone elses'. This is ego-based and done out of insecurity. Mark Manson speaks about honest intentions - and this simply means tapping into your own energy and reflecting that to the world around you, rather than feeling one way, and portraying yourself through behaviors in another, often contradictory way.

It all really comes down to being yourself, BUT beyond that being the best version of yourself you can be. Maybe you lack good communication skills, or maybe you don't present yourself as best as you can. Be honest with yourself about this and it is only then you can make these changes and develop a stronger core identity, one that doesn't blow every which way in the wind depending on how you believe other's perceive you. Remember, you can't connect to yourself through others, you've got to do that on your own.

Everyone above provided excellent insights and explanations.

What I'll contribute though is to make you aware what a weak frame is and why a lot of men have weak frames. An extreme example of a weak frame is that of Ed Gein, the infamous psycho. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gein

If you read his life in the Wikipedia article link that I provided, Ed had a very weak frame because he had a very dominant, nagging mother.

The best way to develop a stronger frame from a weak frame is to follow good role models and immerse yourself in their thoughts. Choose masculine men as your role models and stay away from domineering, and nagging people (both men and women). Men naturally gravitate towards other men who are just like them or those who are like their mothers. If you think you have a weak, effeminate frame, choose to follow a forum poster that you hate to some degree. Most likely, he is the opposite of who you are.

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Thanks everyone.

What does this say about my frame:

I come from a middle class family, have a higher education and I have a somewhat exhagerated idea of my self worth, I like expensive watches, fancy bars and the high life. Finished college about a year and a half ago, had an internship in my field of work and after it I was proposed a blue collar job with the promise of a leadership position. Instead of that I am at the same level that guys with basic (or less than basic) education, with no perspectives of a promotion and working for an employer who frequently "forgets" to pay overtime and constantly calls me to work on my day off. When they call me to work on my day off I either don't answer (even set up Bruno Mars "Lazy Song" as my ringback music) or simply refuse. By the end of this month I am leaving the company. My parents and some friends say I should think twice, the market is shit, we are going through a recession and I have a steady job so I should not leave it without finding another one. I say "fuck it". First of all they never gave me the position they promissed when they hired me, they don't pay on time and expect me to be on duty 24-7; so I'm quitting for principle alone, nobody plays me for a sucker. I'd rather be unemployed than exployted. Second, I worked too damn hard to be a working stiff. I put myself through college, have a published (and award-winning) dissertation so I will not settle for this "chump-change" job. When I quit I will try to launch my own business in my field of study. It's what I always wanted to do. When I was a kid the other kids wanted to be football players, I wanted to be a businessman and always felt better in a suit and tie than shirt and jeans. My favourite quote is from Milton's Paradise Lost: "It is better to reign in hell than serve in heaven". It's a gamble, it will be hard, I might end up failing but whatever I manage to do I do for myself. Even if I can't launch my own company how am I expected to find something better and go to job interviews when I work 12hrs a day, 6 days a week? If I have to turn my back on this in order to find something better, fine.

At a personal level I am often called "a gentleman"; "polite" and "very funny". On the downside I am kind of shy with people I am not very familiar with, especially around wemen, sometimes fall in the "nice guy" frame and have been called arrogant and egocentric.

How strong is my frame and what should I do to improve myself in the areas I fall short?

Everything you'd said above says absolutely nothing about the strength of your frame. What your behaviour on this board is saying, however, is that you don't entirely believe in (and trust - really the two go hand-in-hand) yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't be here asking the question.

Replace the word "frame" with "authenticity". How authentically (e.g., are you living your life congruent to your values, morals, and ideals, or are you living for somebody else?) are you living your life? This is a question with far greater worth.

Right now with the amount of time you're investing in your job there's a lot of disharmony. You do have several options. You can choose to expend this energy into your business to see it grow. Or you can pull back a bit and invest some energy into other things, such as cultivating your relationships with people, particularly yourself. Can't decide for you, this is your choice and whichever you decide to go with own it regardless of the potential consequences involved.

Like other people have said... it pretty much comes down to how thick your skin is.

The only way to build a "strong frame" is to put yourself in all different types of situations where people and things are going to fuck with you. Let people rattle you up so you can come back down. Every time this happens, you're going to get another layer added to that thick skin.

It mostly comes with life experience...

Say a girl you're dating cheats on you... That's probably gonna fuck with you a little bit the first time it happens. Probably the second and third time too. But its going to make you want to crumble to pieces. It's up to you to figure out how to rebuild even stronger.

Eventually shit just doesn't phase you anymore. Once you've been around the block a few times, you just kinda shrug things off that you used to make a big deal about.

The most important thing to understand that your "frame" is just a mental/emotional muscle. Learning how to mentally control your emotions takes alot of practice and you have to be a very "strong" person. Just like any other muscle, it doesn't build over night... it takes time.