Quote:
Thanks everyone.
What does this say about my frame:
I come from a middle class family, have a higher education and I have a somewhat exhagerated idea of my self worth, I like expensive watches, fancy bars and the high life. Finished college about a year and a half ago, had an internship in my field of work and after it I was proposed a blue collar job with the promise of a leadership position. Instead of that I am at the same level that guys with basic (or less than basic) education, with no perspectives of a promotion and working for an employer who frequently "forgets" to pay overtime and constantly calls me to work on my day off. When they call me to work on my day off I either don't answer (even set up Bruno Mars "Lazy Song" as my ringback music) or simply refuse. By the end of this month I am leaving the company. My parents and some friends say I should think twice, the market is shit, we are going through a recession and I have a steady job so I should not leave it without finding another one. I say "fuck it". First of all they never gave me the position they promissed when they hired me, they don't pay on time and expect me to be on duty 24-7; so I'm quitting for principle alone, nobody plays me for a sucker. I'd rather be unemployed than exployted. Second, I worked too damn hard to be a working stiff. I put myself through college, have a published (and award-winning) dissertation so I will not settle for this "chump-change" job. When I quit I will try to launch my own business in my field of study. It's what I always wanted to do. When I was a kid the other kids wanted to be football players, I wanted to be a businessman and always felt better in a suit and tie than shirt and jeans. My favourite quote is from Milton's Paradise Lost: "It is better to reign in hell than serve in heaven". It's a gamble, it will be hard, I might end up failing but whatever I manage to do I do for myself. Even if I can't launch my own company how am I expected to find something better and go to job interviews when I work 12hrs a day, 6 days a week? If I have to turn my back on this in order to find something better, fine.
At a personal level I am often called "a gentleman"; "polite" and "very funny". On the downside I am kind of shy with people I am not very familiar with, especially around wemen, sometimes fall in the "nice guy" frame and have been called arrogant and egocentric.
How strong is my frame and what should I do to improve myself in the areas I fall short?
Everything you'd said above says absolutely nothing about the strength of your frame. What your behaviour on this board is saying, however, is that you don't entirely believe in (and trust - really the two go hand-in-hand) yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't be here asking the question.
Replace the word "frame" with "authenticity". How authentically (e.g., are you living your life congruent to your values, morals, and ideals, or are you living for somebody else?) are you living your life? This is a question with far greater worth.
Right now with the amount of time you're investing in your job there's a lot of disharmony. You do have several options. You can choose to expend this energy into your business to see it grow. Or you can pull back a bit and invest some energy into other things, such as cultivating your relationships with people, particularly yourself. Can't decide for you, this is your choice and whichever you decide to go with own it regardless of the potential consequences involved.