Stuggling with if I should tell my bro about his gf cheating



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:38 pm 
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This is a bit of a different question

My best friend since birth is an awesome guy, really entertaining character, but when it comes to girls, his game is not really there. He is a bit sheltered. Two months ago, a girl came into his work and left her number with him. With the help of his co-workers he set up a date with this girl and they started going out.

The girl seems to make him really happy and she is his first girlfriend. It is also the first time he has givven/gotten a kiss and all the way to sex.

Fast forward from when they first met to now. It has been two months, and he is the happiest I have seen him. The girl is definitely more masculine and very controlling. That'd just a little background.

A week ago I was with one of his girlfriends friends and we got into a deep talk. After a while, with hesitation she told me something that made me extremely sad. The girl who is going out with my friend cheated on him. My friend strongly disagrees with cheating.

She did a good job covering it up though. In the end, if I don't tell him there is an extremely high chance that he will never find out, but I also am struggling with if I should tell him.

This has been on my mind for a good week now. That's why I'm bringing it to you guys. This kid is my best friend and I don't want it to break him, but at the same time, I feel like he should know. I don't think she would do it again but I also don't know her too well.

I could use some other perspectives here, what do you guys think?

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:44 pm 
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Not sure why you are even thinking about this. Best friend since birth or drinking buddy, whatever the case. You tell him and let him decide what he wants to do.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:47 pm 
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I think this is one of those situations "You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't"

He's happy now, and if you tell him, there will be a level of resentment forwarded towards you. He'll
even feel humiliated because you had to tell him this.

On the other hand, he is your friend and you want to do the right thing. You may feel that if you
hide this from him, the friendship is not what it is suppose to be.

Really the best option is for you to ask yourself, "If I was in his situation, and he knew something
that I don't - would I want him to tell me?"

And then act accordingly.

You really can't win with this. Whatever you do, somebody will be hurt. You're damned if you do, you're damned
if you don't.

Choose which is true for you, and act accordingly.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:28 am 
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This boils down to a simple thing..

Would you want him to tell you if the roles were reversed?

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:36 am 
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here is the problem if you tell him, and the gf denies, he will believe the gf(pussy is powerful) over you, then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you...

help him find out, without you being directly involve, go indirect... Or better yet, have that girl text you and show him the text or some shit like that, but play it like if you show him is accidental and shit!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 2:16 am 
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I agree with Eddie Fews...

And yes, I'd want to know - I'd absolutely tell the guy.

That's just me though.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 2:45 am 
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If it was me I would probably not say anything, but try to take him out and have him cheat with a girl and say how his girlfriend is so controlling of him etc. But then my mate is already willing to cheat on his gf so that's why I would do that.

I think there is a high chance of destroying a friendship by telling someone directly. They could lash out at you or think you are making it up to get between them. Especially if they are "madly in luv lol".


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 2:50 am 
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Best friend since birth or a girl he has known for two months and you don't think he'll trust him or that he should tell him. I would want to know and wouldn't be the least bit mad at the guy who told me.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 3:11 am 
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Best friend since birth or a girl he has known for two months and you don't think he'll trust him or that he should tell him. I would want to know and wouldn't be the least bit mad at the guy who told me.
Yes people always think this. "Oh we are such good friends he'll know I'm telling the truth!" but it doesn't always work that way. I have seen it myself, massive, massive arguments between friends, accusations of jealousy, accusations of hating the girl, name calling. The guy goes to his girlfriend like "hey I h-heard you were cheating." She makes up any old lie and he believes it because he WANTS to believe it, and then it all comes back at you. Why are you lying? Why do you hate that I'm happy?

"Oneitis" is a powerful evil.

So it's really a gamble and not a situation I'd ever want myself to be placed into.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 1:52 pm 
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She cheated on your friend and did a good job to cover it means she will cheat again (what ever the reason that made her cheat). You should know your friend best and how he would handle such a situation if you tell him. From the way you described your friend, I don't think he will handle this in a matured way if you tell him.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 4:11 pm 
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here is the problem if you tell him, and the gf denies, he will believe the gf(pussy is powerful) over you, then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you...

help him find out, without you being directly involve, go indirect... Or better yet, have that girl text you and show him the text or some shit like that, but play it like if you show him is accidental and shit!
Wow, yea that is a big fear also, "then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you."

I'm glad you brought this up skill because that's also a huge part of it. She started to dislike another good friend of his and she ruined him. She started rumors and made him look terrible, and also turned my friend against him. The pussy really is powerful :/.

I'm definitely going to take all this advice into account and make a decision tomorrow. Thank you a ton Everyone

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 5:37 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
here is the problem if you tell him, and the gf denies, he will believe the gf(pussy is powerful) over you, then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you...

help him find out, without you being directly involve, go indirect... Or better yet, have that girl text you and show him the text or some shit like that, but play it like if you show him is accidental and shit!
Wow, yea that is a big fear also, "then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you."

I'm glad you brought this up skill because that's also a huge part of it. She started to dislike another good friend of his and she ruined him. She started rumors and made him look terrible, and also turned my friend against him. The pussy really is powerful :/.

I'm definitely going to take all this advice into account and make a decision tomorrow. Thank you a ton Everyone

Here is where having strong principles from the beginning would have helped. You watched her control him and turn him against one friend...now she's probably gonna do the same to you. When this was happening with the first guy you shouldve told your friend(the bf) what she was doing and how fucked up she was for it. Then if he continued to be controlled by her, YOU shouldve walked away and left them. The pussy IS powerful, but you helped it get that power when you didnt call out the nonsense with the first guy. Now it's gonna be used on you.

My advice; dont tell him. The time to call out her bs was WAY back, back when she ruined the first friend. If you have principles and core beliefs that you dont violate regardless of the consequences, then you shouldve called out the nonsense a while ago. You can do so now, but you gotta be ready to lose your friend. If you're not, dont fake it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 6:10 pm 
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Wow, yea that is a big fear also, "then she will hate you and she will influence him to stop hanging out with you."

I'm glad you brought this up skill because that's also a huge part of it. She started to dislike another good friend of his and she ruined him. She started rumors and made him look terrible, and also turned my friend against him. The pussy really is powerful :/.

I'm definitely going to take all this advice into account and make a decision tomorrow. Thank you a ton Everyone
Although skills is right, pussy is powerful specially for a first timer, that should not influence this scenario.

Friend since birth vs 2 month relationship. Sure he'll feel like shit for a while when you break it down to him but if he lets a woman come between 2 lifetime brothers he's pretty much an idiot so you won't be losing much.

This is a classic case of experienced girl / virgin guy. He falls in love with the sex, becomes infatuated with her and it's really not that surprising that she ends up cheating, but that's not the point. The point is that the longer he stays with her the deeper in love he falls and the worse the 'heartbreak' will be for him. I'm fairly certain she will cheat again. The circumstances indicate it.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 6:47 pm 
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1. Get proof
2. Don't tell her you have proof
3. Give her an ultimatum; she confesses, or you tell him
4. Tell/comfort him - no homo
5. Get him some pussy

True story

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:20 pm 
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None of the above. Tell him that people are spreading rumors about her cheating on him and you can't believe them, but he should tell her about the rumors. Because she would never do anything like that. Tell him exactly what your friend told you, but there's no way sweet little Brunehilda would ever do this.
Then back it up with more evidence, like "I've even seen her out with another guy, but I knew it was just platonic, because she's not that type of girl".

Now your friend has all the info, you're on both his and her side and if he decides that it is true, you can then join him in the surprise and anger of being duped by sweet little Gundleglitch.

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