Hey everybody.

So I have been going out with this girl for about 2 months now (we have met about 3 years ago in a club)... we made it as far as 2 dating ppl can go. I think I really like this girl, we have many things in common, and it is a fun girl to spend time with.

She has had pretty much the same boyfriend for ever (6 or 7 years). He went to live out of town like 2 years ago so they broke up, and last year he came back and they tried it again. It obviously didn't work, so around December they decided to take some time away from each other again. So even though they don't see each other anymore except on family reunions and stuff, for most of their friends and family (and I am willing to bet that for him too lol) they are still "officially" together. She has told me before that she feels bad about getting sexual with me (it mainly happens when we both drink) because she doesn't want to be an asshole with the other guy and her family, but she just can't deny that she likes me. We have consistently been going out about once or twice per week for the last month.

I want to get more serious with this girl. She already knows that I like her and that we just can't be friends or pals lol. I just don't know how to tell it to her and not come off as if I am trying to put pressure on her or rush her into settling her unfinished business. It is obviously not as easy as after 7 years they have more than just sentimental things in common.

Is it worth giving it a try? I mean if she tells me look, it will take me 3 years to get out of the current situation, fuck it.... but if the case is look give me a couple months until I sort things out.... it is not the timing but the uncertainty that kills me. We have talked about it a few weeks ago and the outcome of it was "I don't know, and I don't want you to feel like I am using you, because I like you. So if you rather we stop seeing each other then I understand"

Or maybe I should try to play hard to get? She is one of those stone cold girls... If I text her we can spend all day texting, but unless I text first we can go easily for like 3 or 4 days without texting.

Any suggestions?

Thankssss!

Fuck yeah it's worth giving a try. You said you liked her, didn't you?

As far as I'm concerned you don't really need advice here. You need to keep doing what you're doing.

Just don't tell her anything about you wanting something more. Let things naturally progress towards that direction. Exclusivity is never something you as a man should bring up. Let her do it. They always do. And usually it's already implied by that time. That's how healthy relationships evolve.

Don't let the situation with the ex affect your decision making. And don't pressure her. At all. She has enough pressure on her from all that bs going on, doing the same won't work towards your interests.

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You want her more because she is seeming unattainable. When you get the girl you "Want" she is never as special as you thought her out to be. SO just keep that in mind. Reality hits eventually and its just like "ehhh whatever".

I'd suggest you just keep doing what you're doing. Don't bring the guy up, and keep moving forward. He'll fall off on his own.

Have you guys had sex?

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Thanks for the advice! Yes I think my problem is I have been trying to push it, I should just take it easy, enjoy the moment and let her do the talking.

Yes we have had sex but only once. We talked about trying to keep everything under control because she feels bad about doing things like that, but whenever we drink we fail to keep the promise haha. Whenever something like that happens (like if we start kissing or something) and she tries to pull back saying this is wrong I always tell her "look, we are not doing anything wrong.. we are just two single human beings having fun..."

I just need to be able to control my anxiety of letting her know I like her and trying to escalate the status.

Should I keep doing what I am doing or should I maybe stop pushing too much with the texts and asking her to go out? She is usually very busy during the day (works 2 jobs) plus all the other bs so we always end up going for some drinks late at night. We have been going out about once or twice a week mainly because I am very persistant on asking her out haha

And you are right Eddie, I think that the fact that she is playing like she doesn't care or hard to get (although she speaks one thing but then she does the opposite) is making me want her more.

Keep doing what you're doing. Ask her out in the same manner you always did.

Only mention I have is maybe stop trying to convince her logically that she's doing the right thing. I mean the part about two people having fun.

Instead try this out once. Agree with her verbally, but keep escalating physically. So if she says "this is wrong", reply with "yeah, so wrong", in a cheeky kind of way and just keep moving forward. See what happens.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Makes sense... Thanks!

So should I always go for the K after every date or suould I try to go slow? Since we have talked about her feeling bad about escalating sexually we have had dates where we only hang out with 0 keno and just a hello and good bye with a kiss in the cheek.

You don't wait for "After" a date to do anything! This isn't a movie. Your gradually escalate during the date and for the kiss during the middle or beginning of the date. Waiting to the last moment is a chump move because it leaves you with an "out" in case things don't go as planned. The more courageous your move, the higher the likeness of it being successful.

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so basically I just need to grow a pair and go for it every time I see the occasion if her mind is set on "no I told you we can't be doing this things" then deal with it.