Invited this girl ive been on 5 dates round for dinner and to stay. dinner goes great have some wine and we watch a film. She then climbs on top of me and we end up having sex, although admittedly it wasn't the best, for what ever reason I couldn't stay hard, she asked me if I was nervous or drunk, I was slightly nervous but didn't want to admit it. for the time I could stay hard she scratched my back up, but I had to keep going down on her, neither of us came and she said don't worry we will try again.

We laid in bed cuddling and she was asking about past relationships and if I was a player, she told me she has never had a one night stand but I guess this is in your hands now, after that we fell asleep, in the morning we cuddled again and I got her breakfast before she had to leave. when she left she said make sure you text me.

anyway she text me 10 mins after she left saying thanks for dinner it was amazing hope you have a great day, we sent a few texts back and forth then she took a day to reply to my next text but she replied asking how I was and if ive had a good weekend (ioi)?, I replied a few hours later to which she hasn't replied to in over a day. This isn't to uncommon as she has never been the fastest at texting back and is really busy, but I thought she would be more responsive after we have had sex now as girls usually get emotionally attached after sex?. I'm just wondering have I blown it and how should I proceed? I'm thinking let her come to me?

I know this might seem a bit of a beta post but I would like to see her again so I want to optimise my chances of this hapining and I often get good advice from you guys so any opinions are welcome, thanks

Sounds fine to me, man.

Your concern with the night before is making you paranoid. You sound like the girl in this relationship! "Why won't he text me back!?"

Just follow up in a day if you haven't heard from her and ask if she wants to grab a drink. You're making something out of nothing.

I always tell girls straight up that I sometimes get nervous/performance anxiety the first time before we even get my pants off. That it may take some time and then the pressure is off.. I don't think about it anymore, I don't fail to get hard, I don't lose my hard-on while I, or she, is putting the condom on me.

I never got a second chance with the girls I lied to about it.. but always had them coming back for more when I was up front. Up to you how you wanna play it but if its a common problem, just nip it in the butt right away. If you don't have any problems after saying it, it makes the girl feel even better because she's the one you had no problem with, not like the other girls. It sexually empowers her IMO.

Just relax man.

Lay low and she will certainly come to you.

And be aware that the moment you come to a forum to begin posting about some girl its very important that you take control over your thoughts an emotions or it will shortly be out the door. I wrote an article called "Take Control Over Your Emotion" . I'd advise you to look into that.

Anyway, a woman is more likely to be turned off by your reaction to a performance problem than she is to the problem itself. If it bothers YOU it will bother her. If it doesn't bother you it will not bother her. Women are looking to us to see how they should feel about us. The shit that gets us down will worry them because they will not see the leader in us. They won't see the confidence and self belief, and a woman isn't going to believe in any man that doesn't first believe in himself. She has no power over you, unless you give it to her, and become emotional about not receiving a text back fast enough is the beginning of giving her your power. Stop allowing what her actions are dictate your happiness. You were happy before her and you will be happy after her. How dare you let a woman come into your life and do something that makes you unhappy. Keep your shit together. And if she's making you unhappy she has to go. I'd get rid of any woman that made me so unhappy that I had to post about her. And because this is my mentality, I don't have to. They stick around because my standard and boundary is that if they make me unhappy they get shown the door. And thats not something anyone wants.

So just chill. She'll be back around, but if you begin chasing after some flimsy dick sex she'll be gone. Hell, if she was hotter, if she was more in tune with her body and yours you would of had a stronger woody. Stop being so hard on yourself. She has to grow sexually aswell.

I used to deal with erectile dysfunction. I was always a stud with it until I couldn't get it up one night and this chick made fun of me for it. I let it get to me and had that problem for 3 years. Every now and then it would poke its head. ESPECIALLY with a chick I actually liked. And then I met a chick I actually liked who it happened with, and she knew exactly what to do. She knew how to calm me, and turn me on even during dysfunction.

So you'll be straight.

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[quote="Eddie.Fews]Anyway, a woman is more likely to be turned off by your reaction to a performance problem than she is to the problem itself. If it bothers YOU it will bother her. If it doesn't bother you it will not bother her. Women are looking to us to see how they should feel about us. [/quote]

So much this, I literally cannot stress it enough. You can explode before you even stick it in and if you genuinely laugh it off she will have absolutely no issue with it what so ever.

I gave up porn and masturbation completely about 4-5 months ago. Hold my hand and I'll get a boner. Felt like a virgin all over again first time I had sex after making that decision. I literally could not react any other way than start laughing. And so did she. It wasn't my proudest moment, but that doesn't matter. The way you handle it does. My reply was "Next time we'll go for 6 seconds" and she said "This was the best almost sex I've ever had".

That didn't affect our relationship in the slightest. So chill out and stop hyperventilating.

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