I could be wrong, but I don't think *any* of us, have experience with going on 10+ dates with no sexual contact as adults. I don't think I've ever seen that turn around. And I've seen quite a number of these threads.

Odds are, the girl was never sexually attracted to you in the first place. You've been in the "friendzone" from day one. Some girls(especially younger ones), do not understand the difference between platonic like and sexual like. She just over simplifies to the point of "Oh, I LIKE him". So you liked you. But possibly only as a buddy from the start(most likely).

Do whatever it is you need/want to with this girl. It's pretty clear you can't move on, right now. So if you want to go for it again, go for it again. I don't think it makes any difference. It's probably better to do it now, so you don't have it lingering in the back of your mind for the next few months.

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RSDTyler

The problem with this advice is that if he doesn't "train" himself to let go and resist his desire to contact a girl that now, he will have to learn later on in the future. So why wait? It is the fact that he is incapable of "letting go" and clinging on too tight that is putting him in position for women to find him unattractive. It is weak and pointless for him to do what you ask and listening to what is said above will force him to continue to perpetuate this state of weakness.

The key is to grow and improve which he hasn't done. And the only way to do so is to do something different. He's been in this position with many women before. Its about time he takes a new approach. And "lets go" while he still feels the desire not to.

That resistance today is what will act as one brick to build him emotionally tomorrow.

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I was on a date this week and tried my absolute best to move on but I still think about this other girl. I know it's not what I should be doing as she dumped me. I can't just move on straight away I think it will take a long time. I realise contacting her is only going to show my weakness but I don't want to regret at least trying.

Yeah, I agree with Eddie. He has to learn.

@OP:
You've been on 10 dates with this woman. Each and every one of those were opportunities to "at least try". The only thing you'll be successful at by talking to her now is shredding the last remnants of your dignity.

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You want your cake and you want to eat.

You want to become stronger, but you don't want to make a sacrifice for it. You want women to like you more than they do now, but you don't won't to make uncomfortable decisions.

And lets keep in mind, you can only get "dumped" if you're in a relationship . . You got "nexted" - which is lower than being dumped. You were never in a relationship.

This will be my last time responding to this post.

You're not special moose, what it takes for others to develop it will take for you. You have the opportunity to become stronger now. Sacrifice this moment to make some bullshit weak decision and you will have to wait another 3-6 months(potentially) before you find another girl you feel is worth you becoming desperate over all over again. That will also "next" you and leave you in position to do again what I am telling you to do now.

Cya dude.

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If the girl wasn't interested in me from the start she wouldn't have organised dates with me? Surely she wouldn't have travelled 40 minutes to see me. She texted me a lot and showed interest. I'm sure the main problem is me not escalating physically and making her comfortable.

You're doing the same thing that got you here. You failed to go after what you wanted. You wanted to be more physical and you pussied around.If you want to contact her do it. At least itll be the end of it and you can start doing the things you want to do. Just do what you want to do and move on.

Serious question, are you aware that women can be "interested" in you, while having no sexual attraction to you whatsoever?

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RSDTyler

I am aware of that but she has an extremely busy social life and a lot of friends. She wasn't just looking for company to hang out with.

first off all these other guys made such valid points about you being a pussy and stuff. That I had to at least drop it in once ya big puss

second, You need to sort out your lack of self confidence my friend. that has to be your first priority. Thirdly,

Fuck that girl, if she can't realise she missed out on a guy who obviously seems like he cared about her because she didnt make a move!

What i'd tell a friend to do

Go and become friends with some girls, be affectionate and kind with them. Let them get comfortable with you so your not as panicky with the touch of the opposite sex. Im not saying to try it on, I'm saying improve yourself.

tip: dont tell the girls your doing this because youll look like a creep

Yeah, and if you can't make friends with girls, you can always find a random girl passed out after a bad night in the street and take her home and chain her to a radiator. Worked for Samuel L. Jackson. They became good friends

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RSDTyler

I already have a lot of friends which are girls so it's not a problem I'm just shy when it comes to touch mainly. I do agree it's mainly a confidence issue.

I've never really had much confidence but I would say I'm a good looking guy so I still get women to go out with. It sucks majorly because if I did have the confidence I would have got this girl no problem.

The last girl I went out with for 8 months was quite forward so it was very different. This girl who I was recently with told me she was quite shy and reserved so I needed to take the lead and I pussied out. I really wish this girl just gave me a bit more of a chance but I suppose 10 plus dates is long enough.

Well I messaged the girl who told me she wanted to be friends. She did reply to me and told me what she was up to and stuff. Don't really know what else to say to her. How do I wi her back?

Sigh...if you havent moved on and are not moving on, tbh, I'd just be friendly and funny for a bit, come up with some reason you guys should meet as friends, like shopping or some bs, and I'd just make bold moves. That's only if I knew the girl was attracted and what held me back was not escalating. But to get it back you'd have to meet and probably fuck and cuddle to get her to rationalize some spark. And you'd have to be aggressive in person. You should move on, it's one chick. But if you're gonna make some play, that's what I would do.

I've kept it friendly so far. I think i'm just gonna see if she wants to meet for a coffee that's more friendly than meeting for a drink. she will probably make some excuse but at least I tried.