So a girl just text me saying she only see's me as a friend after two months of dating. To be honest i'm a bit shocked as I thought she liked me. she gave me mixed signals. i've not bothered texting her back or calling her just now. I really liked the girl and saw it going somewhere. My question is once a girl has said this is there a point even trying to talk to her? or is it best to just leave it?

thanks.

You've been talking about this same girl for a while now. Move on. She's not interested and it's your fault.

The next girl you go out with...escalate without excuse so you don't end up in the same place.

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Ok thanks for the advice. I now realise that I should have escalated a lot sooner I lost her anyway so it wouldn't have made a difference.

Have you slept with her?

And how did you respond once she said this?

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This is pretty much it. Some girls will wait around on your for two months, but most will lose interest and find someone new she's interested in, during such a long period.
Also, a lot of times when you're first learning this stuff, you're not aware of the difference between a girl liking you as a friend and a girl who is sexually attracted to you. She may or may not have ever been sexually attracted. If she wasn't, then this was inevitable. Still, faster escalation will get you a yes/no much, much faster in either case.

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RSDTyler

I didn't sleep with her, she never invited me to her flat and I live with my parents so it was difficult. We saw each other a lot in the last couple of months at least 2-3 times a week, I'm sure she was interested she iniated a lot of the texts and seemed keen. I think she lost interest because I didn't escalate enough. I kissed her at the beginning and end of the dates and touched her leg. I still don't think there was much escalation. I'm really shy I used to be a lot worse talking to a girl was difficult enough so I've improved from that. My inexperience definitely shows with this girl.

I know it was only two months but I'm totally kicking myself now! I could have been with a intelligent, beautiful girl who has a great personality but I really blew it. I left a message saying I like spending time with her and hope we can still hangout as mates but not heard anything back. Wish I escalated!! Feel like such an idiot now! I've not been with many girls which is why I'm not great at this stuff.

Thanks for all the advice.

Everyone says " man if i knew what I know now back in the days I would of done xyz" and it is only through the mistakes that we've made that we are even able to say such things. You've learn from this and you'll make more mistakes in the future. You'll get up and then kick yourself again.. Its all apart of the process. Just know that at the point at which problems surface.. Its usually too late. The problems were brewing far before it was noticeable to either parties - especially the male. Women are more intuitive than we are and will usually sense it a month or before us. All while they're just hoping we get it together.

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Yeah I realised I should have been a man and took control! she said she was shy and reserved so it was my job to make her feel comfortable and escalate. on the other hand she did say to me she didn't want to feel pressured, and usually runs a mile at a serious relationship. So I had to take it slow.

Sometimes I think I never learn. I'm just really shy when it comes to escalating unless the girl is forward. I need to work on that.

It's a pitty because even if I do find another girl and don't think they will come close to her. she really was long term material. we had a lot in common but I just didn't escalate when I supposed to. I'm pretty sure she really liked me.

Next time I'm out with a girl I won't be listening to that stupid voice in my head which stops me from kissing a girl or touching her.

You'll learn when you are finally sick of making the same mistakes. You're not always going to learn the first, second, or third time. Once you're fed up, you'll have no choice but to learn.

And stop with the " don't think they will come close to her" thinking like that will keep better women away from you. There are plenty of girls far more suitable than her for an LTR. LTR material is in the eye of the beholder. Theres more bro, so long as you believe in your ability to be attractive women will be there. My girl now is twice as good as my last who i thought "it doesn't get better than" and that one was better than the one before her. You realize after dealing with enough quality women that they ALL have something special about them that makes them unique and/or "better" for you at that particular time of your life. And there will ALWAYS be another one... ALWAYS. I didn't get this until i lived it, but if you can, take it from me. Theres always another bro. Always. It may take some time.. 3-6 months - sometimes a couple weeks later -, but there will be another.

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thanks dude for the advice. Your completely right what your saying.

I'm trying my best to get over her but I can't get her out of my head it's driving me nuts. i've even been talking to other girls online but it doesn't help.

This is what she said in the text to me well here's the rough idea. 'I'm sorry to do this via text. i've been doing a bit of thinking and really enjoyed getting to know you. But I think we are more like friends than anything else. I just wanted to be honest. I hope you find what you are looking for'.

Do you think there is any coming back from that message? she's not been in touch since. If I could go out and get another hot girl I would do it, but i'm not usually that lucky.

So you're just going to sit around, crying, waiting on some girl to come back who currently doesn't want to be with you?

This is why she left you.. because you're so unlucky and she's the best you can do. Who wants to be with someone that needs them to be happy? You're being a burden.

It'll heal with time. Keep your tears in if you can help it, it will speed up the process.

I put an article on wayoftheplayer called "going through a break up? Read this now" - it'll just be reinforcing some of what I'm saying here.

But its going to take time, you aren;t just going to snap out of it. You're heart broken and hurt. It happens to the best of us. Just know that theres more out there.. many more.

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You made a topic about this girl after 3, 7 and 10 dates. You went on 10 (TEN) dates with her and have not escalated at all.

I'm am honestly baffled as to how she even went out with you for that long in the first place.

You got the best advice this forum has to offer to each of those topics and still did nothing about it. Honestly, you got what you deserved.

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I am furious with myself, I think she did like me as she arranged some of the dates and seemed keen when texting me. The reason she stayed around for 10 dates was because I put so much effort into my chat and making sure she had a good time. The lack of escalation really destroyed it and I don't think I'll ever learn.

Should I text her? I'll give you my background I've never had a serious relationship. The longest I've dated someone is 8 months and I broke it off. Other than that I've been on a lot if dates maybe 15 to 20 majority of them I never made it to the second date and some I ended up friends after meeting them. My track record isn't great and meeting this girl who is everything I want in a girl really changed that for me but I didn't have the experience.

I'll give that article a read your talking about. Maybe on the other hand she just wasn't physically attracted to me? But I doubt it because she would have met me on that many dates. Trying really hard to get her out of my mind.

No you should not text her.

You should listen to people when asking for advice, that's what you should do.
I know you're kicking yourself in the balls right now but that's what happens when you pussy out and "play it safe".
Understand that, accept it and move on. And for the love of god don't make the same mistake again.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I thought this was a girl you were in a relationship with. Shout out to R.C. pointing that out.

Text her and you will repeat the mistake. This is where you learn to get a hold on your emotion. If you can resist this foolish urge you have to text her that will help you build the strength you need in the future to escalate when its time to. Its all emotional strength. Strength one area and it strengthens them all. The root of your problem is that you're too emotionally weak to push through your limitations. This is where you learn. By never talking to her again and leaving her the hell alone. Emotional muscles have to be built just like physical muscles. And you never exercise yours which is why you're too weak to escalate or displayer leadership.

10 dates meant she was waiting on you to get it together.. But you never did. Now you must get it together to prepare from the next girl. If you've been on 20 dates you'll meet more women. You just have to get it together so you're ready when its time to date again.

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