Back from the dead:
So I got really down on myself after sitting in that mall. Really thought that I had nothing to offer to this and really wanted to just give up.
I went to school the next day feeling pretty down and i met up with a friend of mine when i saw he was with a really cute girl. I started talking to her, asking her about her dreams and open ended questions and i got a little last minute courage in me to compliment her. I told her that to me her sense of determination (she had a difficult major) was really beautiful. She lit up and started going on. I didn't transition to get her number or a date but i felt better. I decided that maybe i should try and inkect something nice in the middle of talking to them?
I used the same approach on another girl later that week and I got the same result. I talked about how her toughness was a pretty attractive quality. She lit up and started talking and elaborating how that's how she is. Again, no number or instant date but whatever.
Ran into a girl today that i was interested in a year ago when i was still in the courtship stage with my now ex girlfriend. We had a class together and i would talk to her from time to time. She would seek me out after class and give me random compliments and such but i ignored it because i was no official but mostly exclusive with the girl i was currently dating. For the passed year i always thought of that as a mistake. Ran into her and a friend and got to talking. Needless to say, this time really felt jumbled and overall just not that great. This was the first time i was talking to someone while they had a friend around and overall never felt like i made much of an impression to get that spark. I felt the situation becoming more pressed and inorganic so i ejected but not before getting her (and her friend's) number. Texted her and no response. Didn't even wait a few hours to reach out. Yeah it's a one-itis type feeling and I'll get over it but that kind of sucked.
I've also been practicing on the waitresses at work to be more confident at just fucking expressing my interest which seems to be my problem.
I feel like i've made progress in terms of maybe having some "ah ha!" moments with just expressing that i find soemthing about them attractive but i still feel lost and jumbled
I'm also aware it's not 10 a day but i don't see how i can really find that many people. I go to a pretty small school and i can run out of people pretty quickly