I've been dating this girl I met online, I really like her. We recently went on the 5th date up until now there hasn't been much physical contact usually a kiss on the lips during the start and end if the date. The reason for this was during the 3rd date she said she felt a bit pressured because we had met online and it takes her a long time to get to know someone. So I kind of held back at bit.

My question is during the last date when I met her she said she still had germs and didn't want to kiss me to pass them on. She said at the weekend she was not well and just stayed in. So this is consistent. However when we were parting ways at the end of the night it felt awkward and she said again that she couldn't kiss because of passing on germs, she said I hope I wasn't offended.

Part of me makes me think she didn't want to kiss me and used that as an excuse. She said she had a nice time that night and it was nice seeing me, she feels like she knows me better which is nice. She wants to meet up in the weekend.

She said in a text that all her germs will be gone, so I replied back saying 'does that mean I'll get a kiss then' had no reply, then we just continued texting each other as normal but she never mentioned anything about it.

Giving some background we have chatted for a long time on all of our dates and really got to know each other. We have told each other personal things. On the 4th date she said it was early days between us.

I'm totally confused, is this girl trying to friendzone me? Is having germs a legitiamate excuse not to kiss someone. I'm meeting this girl this weekend and I don't know what to do. If she wasn't interested surely she wouldn't meet me? And she wouldn't call it a date.

i think you are being played. i have never ever EVER! had a girl say that as an excuse.
do you think she would say the same thing to Brad Pit, or her celebrity crush? fuck that she wouldn't care about germs at all. Besides its hard to not come in contact with germs, we as humans are worst than germs like a virus. but that aside lets look at your case.
almost on the 5th date and no physical escalation, physical escalation should of had been there since day 1, within the first 10 seconds.

its hard to recover, you are already on the friend zone.
you did not presented yourself as a potential mate.
and this could of had been because of the following reasons.
-Value:
You gave your value away, instead of being that alpha male that deserves to have any girl, you acted submissive
by lowering eye contact, giving her things without her earning them, not escalating physically [projecting that you desire her and not apologizing for it]

-Congruence
You introduced yourself online as this potential mate that she followed through and did manage to meet you in
person, but once in person you dissipate that vibe, you were not congruent with your actions, thoughts and words
see, you could tell a girl she is cute and pretty etc, she believes it, but if you do not demonstrate it with actions which is try to move it physically she would be like"This guy is telling me that I'm cute, beautiful but he is not showing it. he probably doesn't mean it"

-Be interesting and be interested
See who is talking the most, is it you that are constantly talking about yourself and all the things you have done?
does she tell you I'm from Germany and you reply with something like "i like Germany,/ i know german/ i been there.. etc." do not try to have things in common, rather connect to her emotions
you could reply to that question with "Hows is Germany different from _place you live_/ what made you move here?/ do you miss it there?". rather than trying to find things in common connect to her. ultimately your job i assume its to have her experience you, and your reality. She is for the ride, you only job is to make her feel special, unique, and build memories with her.

only thing i can tell you its to burn the boats and go see what happens when you reframe yourself.
escalate physically and if she keeps on putting excuses, then its time to find more.

_________________
Space.volt

This was stupid. Why would you say that? think about it. Were you looking for validation? Fuck yea you were.
I get that every now and then, specially during winter. I simply answer "<Name>, I never get sick", and kiss her. Not necessarily in that order. Which is half true, I have a good immune system but either way whether or not you wanna expose yourself to her germs is your decision, not hers.
You know what someone you tell personal things to but are not having sex with is called? a friend.
Your sexual escalation is too slow paced. If you don't get physical on the next date there won't be a follow up.

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You can only get friend zoned if you reduce yourself in state and allow her to have leadership over you.. YOU determine whether or not you get freindzoned and beckoning her as to whether or not she'll kiss you the next time she see's you is not masculine. A kiss is something you go after, not something you ask for.

So there is a potential friend zone here because you aren't recognizing your worth and going after what you want. You're waiting on the cue of a woman to tell you how you should feel and which way you should operate.

Stop listening to her and watch her. Her words aren't always going to reflect her true feelings and she wants you to know this. You definitely still have a chance, a deep breath and recognize that you are in the position of authority here. If you give that over she will use it to demote you to a place you don't wanna be. You want her.. go for her, don't ask for her.

Its better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission my friend. And thats with anything. Asking for permission is 2x weaker than apologizing.

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I am the one who initiated the kissing in the first place but it almost felt like it was forced. Like she didn't want to be kissed. I'm meeting her somepoint this weekend and it will be the 6th time meeting her. I'm not sure If I should ask her straight out if she is interested? I think kissing her might be awkward even though I want to do it. I really like this girl and I feel like i've already invested a lot of time.

Assuming attraction is assuming interest. And thats the way to seduction. You ask if there interest and its GAME OVER the milli second the last syllable leaves your tongue.

" I really like this girl".. After 6 dates with limited intimacy? Give me a break. You like the romantic fantasy revolving around her that you've built in your head. How on earth could you like someone you're stringing along hoping for a shot with. You MIGHT like her if you actually got to second/third base and saw what she was like until those circumstances. But you CAN'T say you like her now. Thats called Oneitis my friend.. At its beginning stages. Its a sickness and its avoiding by women every where.

You're either going to snap out of it and take the bull by the horns or be quarantined until the next girl comes around.

When you see her, say " Wow you look hot. And dive in for the kiss." If she pulls away, brush it off and go for it again later on in the evening.

And once again.. ITS BETTER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN IT IS TO ASK FOR PERMISSION. You don't ask shit. You do shit and then handle yourself afterward.

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Well I saw her yesterday , we went for a walk and had a great time. I complemented her quite a few times she was kinda flirty but more in a jokey way. I never told her I like her as I realise that would come across as desperate. I went in for a kiss at the start and end of the date but she said she still had the flu and didn't want to kiss me. I know she is just making excuses which worries me.

What confuses me is that she mentioned that she told her friends she was dating me and she showed them my picture. she asked me if I told my mum we were dating. At the end of the date she asked if I wanted to meet for dinner at the end of the week. so I said maybe and would get back to her. She also text me when she got back home saying she had a great day.

I would think we were friends if she hadn't mentioned we were dating. I'm just confused why would she want to meet up with me and text me all the time? surely she would be wasting her time unless she thought it was going somewhere.

you're still ignoring the advice you were already given. Go back and read my post; and they still answer the same questions that you keep on asking.

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I have to agree with the Eddie here. In addition the thing is if you don't have consistent physical contact throughout the date then a kiss at the end is awkward instead of the next step. If you go from doing nothing but talking to each other the whole time to a kiss it is a bigger leap than say talking, touching hands, touching her back, and things of that nature where she is getting use to your touch and enjoying it, then the kiss is the next logical thing.

As for the kiss thing you could have combated this before and you should have. As it was said its your call if you get "infected" and damn't if it means escalating and getting the girl vs not getting the girl then "INFECT ME" I've got health insurance and Airborne medicine. Just take some extra vitamin C you'll be fine. When she throws that shit out again say, "I'll chance it!" and kiss the girl. Stop making excuses for yourself or let her make excuses for you.

If there is a lack of physical connection there then you'll be the best friend she used to date instead of her boyfriend. And she'll call you (her friend) and tell you about all the new romantic dates she is going on. Take some vitamin C, find your balls, and kiss her.

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I don't care about being infected that's not the problem. When a girl tells you not to kiss them you don't usually force a kiss that would be more awkward. Well i'm seeing her on Friday night i'm guessing just having some sort of physical escalation like holding hands is what I should be doing?

Were going out for dinner and drinks how do I escalate in this scenario? I've never been great with this stuff. I'm quite awkward with the physical stuff. Please help?

First off, don't sit across the table from her. Sit 90 degrees from her so you can still touch. Holding hands, touching on the arm, the leg, etc. Touch as you talk, laugh, or express yourself is usually helpful. There are tons of helpful videos demonstrating kino escalation on youtube.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I don't think your problem is rooted in some series of steps you don't know how to follow. I think your problem is rooted in your lack of confidence and your overall attitude toward this girl. That is what is determining what you do and don't feel comfortable with.

Let me ask you something.. Are you paying for all of these dates you guys are going on?

Because if so, I'd advise you to take a stand. It sounds like you're not willing to take a loss and because of this fear you're not going to get ANYTHING. You're just simping around and not taking a stand. You have to be willing to lose her and if you aren't you'll lose her anyway so its all you have.

You have to know how to say " listen, we been going out for 3 weeks now. And Im not sure how you feel, but I'm sexually attracted to you and I'm not going to continue going on these food excursions. So if you want to move things forward with me this is your opportunity." Then you lean in for the kiss, if she pulls away you get up, and leave.

You're stringing yourself along for too long and getting nothing from it. You're either going to take a stand, or drop her all together, but stop wasting your time and then coming here to complain about how incapable you are. Make a strong move, speak up, and be a man.

You may lose her, you may get her but you have to be willing to make that move. its all apart of the game. You GET some and you LOSE some, but the tighter you hold on afraid to potentially lose the more you lose.

Fear of failure will guarentee you failure 100% of the time.

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