Ok so I have a gf who I really like, but she keeps playing mind games with me. We've been talking for about a month and she tells me about all these other guys that like her. Trying to show off I guess. But every now and then she acts disinterested in me, and so I stop talking to her until she comes back to me. This is wearing me out. I can't do that anymore. Should I just talk to her? Work it out? I like her a lot. And I guess it's my fault she's doing all this. Cuz I was showing a lot of interest and I kinda pulled away, so she would gain interest. What so I do? Do you think there's a way to fix this?

Hold up hold up.

Is she your (exclusive) gf for a month or is she a girl you've started dating a month ago?

Because if it's the latter, she's not your girlfriend. You're not exclusive and anything is fair game. Talking about side-projects is normal in this phase. Speaking of which, you should have some of those as well.

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You have to stand for what you believe. If you don't like it, you don't put up with it. Tell her that you don't keep bragging about all of the girls that are trying to talk to you, so expect the same amount of respect. If she can't handle that, get out of the situation.

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I honestly think the OP is the one at fault here. He's probably way to over-invested in this girl, expecting to be her everything after 1 month worth of dating.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Maybe so, but even when you do something wrong it isn't giving a license for continuous bad behavior.

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I'm between Jack and RC here...if you dont like it dont stand for it...but...she doesnt sound like your gf, or even like it's that serious (have you slept with her?). I cant say whether she is a friend, a gf, a female friend or whatever from what you wrote. Much more context is needed.

Let me clear up my personal opinion. OP is dealing with a behavior he doesn't like, and in my opinion it is justified even if it's his girlfriend or not. I see it as her communicating that she has options with other guys and therefore indirectly attempting to put him in a position of submission. I'd take the "fuck that" attitude because I have other girls trying to get to me but I don't use it as a tool to throw in a woman's face to induce jealousy or affect her esteem, so I'd expect the same in return. Me communicating that I don't want to deal with that type of behavior is just that...communication. If she feels like she needs to continue, I know that she's not someone I want around me.

Of course that's just my opinion.

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No we're not technically dating. But we "talk" I guess you would call it. Maybe I am over invested. But I haven't shown it. I know I haven't too. It's just not like that. It's like she's obsessed with me. And ignores me and tries to make me jelous in search of an emotional reaction. It started right about the same time I started doing "side projects" I heard someone say. I just don't know how to fix this

I get that Jack, but it sounds like this is just a friend tbh. And maybe she is trying to get OP to submit, or she's just talking to him as a friend would and mentioning guys in her life. I dont trust OP's perception (no offense) on her actions, just because it seems like he's reading too much into their "relationship", hence I'm assuming he's doing the same when viewing her actions. It's just confusing... like its tough to read whether she is punking him while dating him, or just talking to him as a friend and he's zeroing in on talk about guys.

As in talk do you mean you guys are more than friends? If you guys havent kissed, you're friends.

This doesn't belong in the relationships sub forum. Please read the forum rules.

i guess you were right. she just wants to be friends. bummer. at least i don't have to hear it tho. what told you that my interpretation was wrong? I'm not offended i just want to hear what people think

I'm really curious about this.. Why do so many guys have a problem or get hurt when a girl likes other guys? Can someone explain this?

To Dr.s...i figured your interpretation was wrong because you were being vague. If you're "talking" to a girl after a month odds are you haven't done anything and the relationship is just in your head. Either way go with it. You can either distance yourself because you're hurt over 1 girl not liking you, or you can just be her friend and meet other girls with her. Heck even if you just go out with her and hang you can do approaches and have at least some social proof.

Because they're insecure. They want a girl to fully commit to them without putting themselves in a position to get rejected. They don't want to worry about competition or the thought of "not being picked" over another guy.
Well, that and the fact that they don't have other side-projects.

It's basic neediness.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

If you're unwilling to really do anything about it she will continue behaving this way because "why not?" Like I told the magical method when he told me not to call him "buddy".. What are you going to do? Send me a computer virus? lol... Nerd.

So basically,

What you want to do here is to continue to do what you've done, but this time when she comes back around you have the conversation with her. Let her know how emotionally immature her behavior is and that if this happens again, you're not going to stick around for it. But you have to be serious. If you're unwilling to walk away from what you feel to be disrespect, you will continue to be disrespected.

Don't go chasing her now.. Let it sit; because you would only be rewarding her for the behavior.

Now there are ways to call her up and call her out, but from the emotional state you're displaying in your post I have a feeling it would back fire. You're not striking me as emotionally tough enough at this particular point to successfully execute that. So I'd recommend you revert to what you know best and have a real talk with her about it when she comes back .

Don't go simping up. Hold steady.

And would recommend grabbing a copy of " The manipulated Man" by Ester (forgot her last time) lol.. She talks about this exact thing. The going cold and the reason talk about other men to make you jealous.

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