Whenever I hear "girls like assholes" I think I must be understanding "asshole" in a different way. To me it seems the guys who who have an easier time getting girls are nice, confident, but not abusive or noticeably egotistical.

I remember back in high school there were girls that were initially attracted to me but seemed to start shunning me after I showed more "asshole" behavior. I was extremely egotistical and called girls "fat", "stupid", "whore", etc. but it didn't seem to help. Later on (after high school) I beat a lady up but instead of getting me laid it just added onto my criminal record.

So I am confused. Isn't egotism, verbal and physical abuse considered "asshole" behavior? What do some people really mean by "girls like assholes"?

There is a small percentage of girls that like assholes. The reason girls didn't find you attractive when you were acting like an asshole is because they could sense that you were not congruent. If you're not an asshole, don't try and be an asshole. You can still be nice... Have boundaries. But there is nothing wrong with being a friendly person.

Honestly, you're lucky you didn't get your ass kicked. Because to me, it seems like you were more just being a douche bag vs someone who's got a little bit of cockiness to him.

See, you say it's just a small percentage of women who like assholes, and I definitely agree with you on that, but for some reason, "girls like assholes" and "nice guys finish last" seem to be popular notions. Or at least some people think that they're popular notions. I think I'm nice the majority of the time but that doesn't seem to work either. I guess it's mostly down to the execution.

The confusion is that many guys who are assholes ALSO do a better job of exhibiting certain behaviors that women really do like. Confidence and assertiveness for example. So a guy might be an ass, but if he's an assertive and confident one he'll be attractive.

That said, beating up a woman will never be attractive to any woman ever.

Nice guys don't finish last. Door mats finish last. My friends say I'm one of the nicest ppl they've ever met, I don't finish last. For the simple reason I'm confident, and I don't let ppl take advantage of me cross me, and I'm not very nice, so ppl respect me. When it comes to women there's a big difference between being a bad boy and a bad guy. You were a bad guy. Don't try to be something you're not it won't get you anywhere. Figure out what type of person you are, and be the best version of that person.

Your problem is that you think women like asshole-ish behavior. That's not the case.


They don't like assholes , they like some traits that seemingly derive from their asshole attitude.

I'll give you some examples.

Those guys are usually selfish. They think "I want" instead of "She wants". So when he calls her up he doesn't say "Where do you want to eat tonight ?" , he'll say "We're eating at x tonight".
So even though it comes from a place of selfishness , it can be projected and picked up as leadership,for a small while.

They also appear to be much more assertive and / or confident than your usual nice guy , simply because they express themselves much more freely.

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