One girl I have been on a few dates with.. had a kiss but nothing else. We have been talking and texting since. 'She' phoned me last week to talk. I asked about meeting her again and she said she was busy next week, but we can meet another time.. so nothing booked in..

We were then texting each other. I notice how whenever I have been slightly sexual before over, I get a response but not along the same line. She keeps it straight. There is a bit of humour, but not much else. She does use nicknames for me in the response as I do for her.
Anyway, she mentioned she was going to a Halloween party dressed up in some doll type outfit. I told her on text that actually I quite liked the doll look and would she dress up for me like that sometime?..

I kind of meant it in a jokey way.. but she never responded. Its the first time since we have been speaking that she never responded and we have been texting/talking for about 2 months.

Are there girls who are interested in a guy who will just not respond to sexual texts and it puts them off?.. or is this a case of not interested at all?

The profile of this girl is that she is in her 30's, Well educated, a bit posh, probably a bit geeky in her earlier years, business owner, pretty with a decent figure although she has admitted to a threesome at some point in her life so not completely a-sexual.

My last text was on Friday and not heard since then, what would you advise doing?

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My personal philosophy, is not to initiate "Sexting" unless the girl starts it (And sometimes they do, I've had girls send me some seriously freaky shit...lol).....but even then I don't dwell on the whole thing.....I want to hook up, in real life, ASAP.....that's the only reason I'll be texting a girl to begin with, is because I want to spend time with her and enjoy her beauty.

My question is....why are you trying to escalate on the phone (Especially with texting), rather than trying to get her out on another date in order to escalate? Why have you not tried to escalate on the three dates you already went on?

Well on each date we ended up kissing.. haven't had the chance to escalate further but she was interested and I have tried to get her out again. She has had some stuff going on and just broke up with her love (prev boyf) so is still a bit raw

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here to learn.. thats all.

I'd cut out the attempted sexting and just focus on getting together with her. I wouldn't worry about the outcome with that particular girl so much.....you will hear that advice from a lot of people but I do understand not being attached to the outcome is a difficult thing to grow into for some people....it's an inner game thing but it's critical to long term happiness and success

ok, that's fair enough. So despite not hearing from her, do you think I should follow it up and call or text to meet?

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here to learn.. thats all.

Wait what ? The point of sexting is to make the hookup happen considerably faster.


Anyway , OP , texting is something that can either really help or really kill your chances. Don't word it in a form of a question like "would you dress for me like that sometime?". That's like saying "would you go out with me sometime ?" It's AFC TradeMark.

It's also weak , half apologetic and playing it safe.

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Some guys might suggest you not re-initiate contact first (I disagree but I'm not going to say that's always an invalid strategy...I just think my way is better) but as a natural I just say it straight up (I just say what I want and leave it at that).....I would personally just send her a text or call her saying "Hey babe, I wanna get together Asap". If she doesn't want to, no big deal....if she does great.

I disagree that sexting speeds anything up....speeding it up may be the idea but in reality it's going to be counter productive most of the time. I'm not saying be afraid to talk sex if she brings it up, but your going to do alot better by just focusing on meeting up and escalating when your with her vs. initiating sexting. I guarantee it.

You have a point on the way the guy worded it but he will learn those subtleties in time, when he gets more field experience.

If I contact her again.. is it worth making a point about the previous text?.. saying anything about her value wise so she doesn't think I just think about sex or do I go straight in with 'lets meet up'. Im conscious that I might need to build a bit of a bridge first before asking her out again.. I don't know..

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here to learn.. thats all.

We probably have very different understanding of what sexting is.
Also sexting is not something you do insted of actual meets. It's something you can do in the buffering time between meets , the point of it being to allow for much faster /easier escalation on the next date.
It's much better to learn something the proper way than to have to unlearn something you've been doing wrong all along.
Most people never learn the proper way.


No ,make no reference to it. That would be repeating the same mistake twice , meaning being apologetic.

No woman will be under the impression that you're just thinking about sex simply because of one barely sexual reference. She'd have to have some serious issues for that.


Look , the more important issue here is that you need to stop being a chump. Like I said above you're being apologetic , playing it safe , acting weak and caring too much.


You need to get her out on a date and be the exact opposite of that ^.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

All girls think all guys only think about sex. Being sexual is not a bad thing ever IMO, to do otherwise is just a sign of weakness! Stop thinking so much and act, if you make a mistake and get too sexual to the point where it turns a girl cold, then you can either let it go like no big deal and change the subject, or you can face it and say "too much huh? Sorry, sometimes my mind gets a little adventurous" and then roll on to something else.

I know many PUA's say "never apologize" but but most people here don't understand what that means when they say it. It doesn't mean don't say "I'm sorry" when an apology is warranted; what it means is don't be apologetic all the time.


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

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Nope, I'm with R.C. on this 100%.....Do not bring it up, and do not reference the old text. Just forget about it.

I would go straight for the meet up personally, because I'm huge on being authentic (My way may not be for you.....it's entirely your choice on how you want to proceed).......I would just let her know that I want see her and invite her out.

I do think it's mainly a definition issue we disagree on.....I understand it's not meant to take the place of actual meets, but you seem like an experienced guy. For people relatively new to pickup, I think encouraging them to initiate sexting is going to hurt more than it helps anything. It's really not necessary to get a lay, date, or girlfriend..... and counter-productive as hell when it's done in a style like this guy was using.

I think it's something that's more productive to avoid for new people, would you agree with that statement?


I agree with you there, it's always better to learn the proper way......and I'm glad your pointing that out. I'm of the opinion though that the mindset is what needs to change, more so than keeping any particular point in mind about how you word things......I may not have articulated that well enough but do you understand what I mean by that?

Practice sexy texts on the girls you have already fucked well

Yes, I agree with that. If you want to learn how to do it the right way, at least make sure your already sleeping with the girl......that's a fair compromise I would say. Don't do it before your sleeping with a girl, ever.....until your confident you actually know what your doing....the loosen up that rule and see how it works for you.