Will My Personal Rules Hold Me Back?



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PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:19 am 
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I'm very new to the Game and I want to really get involved. I haven't really been out sarging yet because I don't think I'm ready. I want to fully prepare myself with information first and slowly use techniques and moves in the field, developing myself steadily instead of just jumping in head-first-full-throttle all at once. I don't think that will work out too well for me. Since I've been doing this I have kissed 4 girls using technique picked up from The Game and Tony's Lay Guide, and had sex with one of them (which is still going on for the past month). I know I'm confident and I have the ability to do this stuff, I just don't feel completely comfortable with what I know at the moment.

But, to my main point . . .

Since learning about the the Game and working on myself I have developed some rules for myself. I'm sure you will recognize them, as they are taken from what I have learned. I'm only asking if my rules are good and can help me, or if some of them will hurt my game and hold me back. Please be very criticizing, and detailed with your answers, I really want to learn.

1. Never ask the target for their name.*
2. Never ask the target for their number.*
3. Never stand directly in front of the target, stand on her side. Also, don't constantly look at her the entire time, seem slightly distracted.
4. Don't act androgynous. Try to show that I am a sexual being, but don't go so overboard that it freaks them out.
5. Never hold extended conversations over text, or talking on the phone.
6. Always try to be interesting. Don't ask them questions that anyone else could come up with such as, "What do you do for a living?"

I'm sure there are more, I've just never written them out before and can't think of them all right now. But when I do, I will post those as well. My rules are still a work in progress, and I probably should write them down.

So, please, tell me which of these are good and which are bad, as well as why the are good or bad. Please add detail.

Sean09
(I need a new name)

*I have found that if the target wants to give you this information, they will. But mostly I would have no idea when and how to ask them for this information. Should I be asking them for it? Are all girls likely to give me this information if I am working my technique properly?

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:31 pm 
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Ok I can see you're new to this and some confusions you make are understandable. Also you're asking for detail so this post is gonna be kinda long.


There's a very small amount of fundamental quote on quote rules that apply to everyone. For example , "Don't be needy." That's a rule.





So let me start breaking some of this stuff down to you:
Quote:
1. Never ask the target for their name.*
"Never ask for a girls name" is not a rule. It's a guideline and the way is should be worded (and also the general idea behind it) is :"Avoid asking for her name in the proper circumstances."
The reason for that is that you can't imagine how many guys run around a high energy environment such as a club and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is "Hi , what's your name ?".
Girls (and guys) are there to have fun , not to be interrogated. And let's be honest here , do you really give a shit what someone's name is before you even have a 1 min conversation with them ? They can be the most annoying person you've ever met for all you know.

In this case ,asking for someone's name without having the slightest clue what type of person their are is like buying a ticket to a concert without having a clue who's performing. You simply are offering too much interest that they haven't even earned yet.


However , if you're at the grocery store and see a pretty young thang and wanna start a conversation , it's perfectly normal to go up to her and say :"Hey , I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. I'm Sean09."

You usually wanna avoid paying compliments like that especially based on her looks in certain situations , but this is a low-energy environment where people are more on their guard. In this case you're not directly asking for her name , but you're pretty much forcing her into giving it up since you already introduced yourself.
As I mentioned this being a low-energy environment , the whole point of that opening statement is to help her lower that guard and be more open to the interaction.

Also it's very friendly and light , which reassures her that you're not a serial killer in search of another victim. I exaggerate a bit ,but the point is valid.

See now how #1 is not a rule and why it does not apply to every scenario ? Like I've mentioned in the begging , there are very few rules. The rest revolves around adaptive intelligence / calibration.
I'll touch that subject more through-out this post.


Quote:
2. Never ask the target for their number.*
Another largely situational guideline. However ,where as a girl might ask for your name , she won't ask for your number in 95% of cases. So how are you gonna get it if you don't ask for it ?
What you don't wanna do is literally ask for it in the form of a question. The crowds of AFCs go about it like this:
"Can I have your # ?"
"What's your #?"
"Will you give me your #?"

Another important aspect is the environment in which you're in. If in a club (high energy if you remember) the first close you go for is not the #close. Why would you settle for a #close when you're in an environment that almost encourages Kcloses of even Fcloses ?
Again , she's out to have fun. Fun doesn't consist in giving your her number , she wants to give you a helluva lot more than that. And if settle for digits , she's giving the rest to someone who isn't you.


Now after you got the make-out and for some reason you need to bail anyway , no harm in:

"A'right ,you seem like a cool girl. *pull your phone out* I'll text you sometime and we'll take it from there".
So you got your phone out and said you were gonna text.It's obvious what she has to do.
If she's not getting it , continue with "Put your number in my phone" and hand her the thing.
Again , you're not asking for permission.


Ok ,back to the grocery store. You've successfully opened the pretty young thang from before. In this environment going for a #close is priority 1.

This interaction should be no longer than 3-4 minutes ,so the first half should be building some initial attraction and comfort , the next half should be you qualifying her and getting the #close.
Always always qualify before you close. You asking for her number should seem as a effect of her successfully qualifying for you. (i.e:)

You:"Ok ok , what's the most interesting thing you've done this summer ?"
Her: "blablablabl I went skydiving blablablabl"
You: "Skydiving huh ? so you're the adventurous type."
Her:" blablabla more qualifying"
You:"A'right , you seem like you're not too weird or antisocial. *pull phone out* I'll text you something this weekend or whenever I'm free."

The qualification part is so important because the act of you getting her number is you validating her for doing a good job. Without it , you're back to showing too much interest without her earning it.
Also the way in which you're getting her number is important. You're not asking , you're half expecting it. Just as you pull out your wallet when checking out with your groceries , expecting to pay for them like it's the most natural thing in the world.


So again , adaptive intelligence will get you a long way. You need to understand how to use the situations you're in to your advantage.
Quote:
3. Never stand directly in front of the target, stand on her side. Also, don't constantly look at her the entire time, seem slightly distracted.

The point of not standing in front of her is to not intimidate and / or invade her personal space.


If your target is on the dancefloor , approaching her from the side or even worse , from behind is exactly what 100% of the afc's do. You approach from the front , make eye contact and start dancing with her. You don't creep around unseen.
If she's dancing chances are she wants her personal space invaded. You'll know if that's the case from the eye contact you make while approaching.


If she's at the bar getting drinks , yes , you don't plant yourself directly in front of her.


If you're at the grocery store and use the direct and very friendly opener I used , you can't do it over the shoulder. That would be weird. However , you can keep enough distance without invading her space and you won't appear intimidating mainly because of the friendly nature of your statement.


You'll get the feel of how to position yourself with some practice and experience.

Quote:
4. Don't act androgynous. Try to show that I am a sexual being, but don't go so overboard that it freaks them out.

Scan your target. You can go really sexual with some and very little so with the more conservative types. Once you get a feel for her personality , adapt accordingly.

Quote:
5. Never hold extended conversations over text, or talking on the phone.

The "danger" of these conversations is that it's easy to float off course. You want to build attraction AND comfort. If you drift into meaningless smalltalk you're gonna build very little attraction and too much comfort. AKA welcome to the friendzone.


Again , remove the 'never' out of that guideline. You might just meet someone with whom you hit it off perfectly and eventually fuck it up because the rules say "Never do x".
Not really much else to say here. They are guidelines , use them accordingly.

Quote:
6. Always try to be interesting. Don't ask them questions that anyone else could come up with such as, "What do you do for a living?"

Pretty much ,yeah.

Imagine yourself in the same position. Which question would you much rather answer / would be more excited and interested when hearing ?

"What's the most interesting thing you did this year ?"
"If you could have the ideal birthday party , everything you'd ever want , how would it look like ?"
"Where would your dream vacation take place ?"

or

"What do you do for a living ?"
"Do you like that job ?"
"Great so...where do you live ?"
"What are you majoring in ?"

The first set gives you things to think about , invokes emotions / dreams / fantasies / excitement.


The second simply remind you of your daily routine and the (by comparison to the first set) very boring activities you repeat on a daily basis. This is not the kind of emotions you wanna bring up in that person / have them associate with your interaction.



The most important thing you should be taking out of this post is the ability to differentiate a rule from a guideline.
This is the exact reason why most newbies and people in general fail , because they take everything they are told as absolute scripture and never spend any time thinking about it.

It's a very good thing that you asked these questions.


Now if you want rules , these are the most important:


#1. Never be needy.
#2. Never be / appear / seem desperate.
#3. Never have a boring life. There's always something you've always wanted to do.Go for it.
#4. Always work on improving yourself.
#5. Always have a positive attitude. Nothing worse than someone constantly complaining about everything.



Good luck :D.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:43 am 
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Thank you so much. I completely understand what you are saying and I'm getting the guideline vs. rules thing.

I appreciate the response.

_________________
I am Sean.

I need a new name.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:06 am 
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You guys are neurotic, think WAYyyy too much no wonder you have problems w women.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 9:33 am 
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Don't follow rules. All you have to do is have a great posture and know how to speak. Other than that, it's useless.
I ask for names, I ask for numbers, sometimes I even throw myself on girls and I still manage to get laid...

That's just my opinion though, and I think that making too many rules for yourself will start confusing you and you'll start over-thinking to the point that you forget what you are supposed to do and start blaming yourself for the rejections you are receiving.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:32 am
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Quote:
You guys are neurotic, think WAYyyy too much no wonder you have problems w women.
Sorry, but judging by 90% of your posts, you are a complete and utter bellend.

Plenty of people on here do have problems with women, and guys like RC consistently make valid and informative posts to assist others, which is the WHOLE POINT OF THE FORUM.

If you don't need it or want to listen and can only criticise others, then fuck off.


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