Thanks guys for all the feedback
Here's some new info and events that changed my perception and made it clear RC and In$tinct were right all along on how to deal with HB10 attention getter girlfriend.
Like you guys said, I can pretty much see only green flags (except two or three little stuff) and the things I mentioned are more insecurities on my part than real threats…
***First
Two days ago I was supposed to pick her up from her work and we were supposed to hang out. She said on the phone "I only have one hour to hang out with you cuz I have stuff to do, etc.". She always says stuff like that, and yeah usually she has a pretty busy schedule.
I said sure, whatever, you'll do what you have to do. So I pick her up and instead of proposing many places to go out and eat (I always propose/lead, then she often complains about all the choices, she's a spoiled girl!), I took your advice guys and said in a playful and not caring tone ""hey darling tonite is your nite, choose somewhere we'll go eat, and I'll drop u home after. It better be fun!"" I framed it as if I had no problem spending one hour with her and dropping her home after, most likely because I had plans after.
I noted a sharp change in her behaviour: she chose for us to grab some take out (she never choses that, she likes to go out) and go to my place instead of hers (my place usually means sex).
We spent the evening and the night at my place, best sex ever, I made her cum twice and dropped her home the next day.
What I learned: When I keep the alpha male busy guy frame, she wants me so bad. When I'm too much available and "soft", it actually pushes her away. Like you guys said, I have to deal with her in a framing where she is chasing me, not the opposite. And it is surprisingly easier than I thought.
***Second
I know it's bad, really bad, but I accessed her facebook account (it took me a few mins).
What I learned: Yes a lot of guys hit on her, but they all crash and burn. I never realised how 95% of guys are pure AFCs. And she's a real sweatheart, she maintains a friendly attitude with the random dudes and guy friends, not really flirty. I guess she’s cute, funny and interesting so that’s why she gets all this attention. Can't blame her for that. Yeah idealy I'd like her to be less receptive to all those dudes, but it's in her nature to be friendly and reaching people.
Of course a facebook account doesn’t tell everything about a girl, but it shows a lot of stuff. Didn't see any red flags.
I felt so bad invading her privacy, so I didn’t check all her stuff, but just enough to be reassured.
***Third
Thanks to you guys, my text game was one of the big reason I hooked up with this girl a few months ago. Always cocky funny texts, short and sweet, unpredictable, etc. I tease her, never texts more than her, always the one ending the convo, etc.
She showed me so many texts of AFC writing her long boring texts, asking random questions, hidden agendas, even giving her attitude.
Lately I became lazy and stopped thinking before texting her which was not good at all.
Four days ago I came back to PUA texting, PUA phone calls and alpha attitude. I made myself scarcer and a little bit hard to reach. Right away I noticed I big change in her attitude, I started receiving “I miss u” texts from her and stuff like that where she's looking forward seeing me.
Quote:
If you want a smoking hot gf you gotto deal with that stuff.
Ignore it, be confident yourself (you got decent qualities as you mentioned in original post), relax and sit back.
Have like 1 talk about it to set out lines, for example no kissing/fucking ect with any other guys or it's over.
If she is indeed the person you mention it won't be a problem for her and she will respect it.
Thanks for the advice
Yeah we had a talk early on, she actually initiated it and said that kissing or gridding for her is cheating. It's all good for me actually, the more conservative she is the easier it is for me to live with all the orbiters, knowing she has defined limits.
Yeah thanks, the key is to sit back, relax and enjoy as you say!
As long as I only see green flags, I can live with a girlfriend having lot’s of dudes hitting on her or orbiting around. Thanks to you guys, I also know what are the red flags so I can react if I see some!
For now it seems all good, time will tell. There's still some minor issues, but nothing big.
For example she stills fill and book her weekends and nights in advance and seldom includes me in advance (only last minute). She has so many friends and every one of them complains they don't see her enough. We always manage to see each other and spend 2-3 nights per week, but I guess I have to accept she has a busier schedule than me. I might have one event or party to go every weekend and she might have 5. I try to keep busy and to show her I don't mind and I'm having fun too. She'll start full time work very soon so that might slow her down a lot on parties and going out, which is good for me.
And there's still a lot of random dudes and orbiters I don't trust, but I guess I have to be confident and trust her on that. With time she's getting attached to me and it might be easier to deal with these issues later in the relationship. As long as there's no red flags...
Thanks guys and any feedback is appreciated
Cheers