Neo's advice is golden! Find out for yourself if you can live with how she is. Just don't expect her to "change in time". That's how she rolls and how she is really.

She's not out of your league stop thinking like that. The biggest mistake guys make is not realizing their own value. She's a girl...as hot as she is, her "value" is decreasing every day. Every hot girl knows this, especially if you say she is smart. Hotter, younger girls are popping up every day while she gets older, has to work harder to keep fit and has to put on more makeup to look hot. So she has a bunch of desperate guys chasing her? They're low value rich guys that need to spend money to get laid. Do you think she hangs out with guys who can actually get laid? Desperate rich guys + attention seeking hot girls still = low value people. Don't look at her social circle as the cool kids...they're not. You're a cool guy working on his career, building a future and she's the hot girl that goes out 4 nights a week. Who is lower value there?

Put yourself and your career first before everything. Chase your dreams. Whatever you're doing keep improving yourself. Her going out is not improving herself, she's stagnant and needs to grow up soon. Work on your career, do your job well, value your friends. All men need to see themselves as future millionaires. Your 10 should be the gorgeous intelligent woman who has her own career, own place, own money, is cultured, fun and who can provide for herself. This girl is not on your level. The question shouldnt be whether she loses interest in you because she's getting wined and dined, it should be whether YOU lose interest in a girl who all she brings to the table is hotness but has to go out 4 nights a week. If she needs to go out 4 nights a week she's not on YOUR level, not the other way around. Be the chooser. Hot college girls who party 4 nights a week are a dime a dozen. Not saying to breakup but start looking at whether this is a genuine 10, or just a 10 in looks. Improve yourself and if you see yourself as a 10 or at least one day becoming a 10, you will see that she has to improve herself if she wants to keep YOU.

^ I love this guy. Despite that our styles are different. Neo is hitting the nail on the head for I don't know how many times in a row and not just in this thread. Listen to him. It's one thing he has game, but more importantly, he is strenghtenning our small little group of guys who know the dynamics of relationships too.

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Thanks Instinct. Just trying to help. If the forum had a rep button I'd rep you alot. You know your stuff.

It used to have one, but it was abused by trolls and KJs who couldn't admit they were wrong. I miss it too.

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Believe it or not, flirting has its advantages and it can keep a relationship tense enough to last for a really long time. The problem here is, when you tell her that you don't like her behavior of grouping around guys, she'll start thinking that you have nothing but her to chase. She can leave you anytime and it's scaring you and you don't want to lose her. Well, you have to flip things up here...YOU should make things intense and show her that you can do better with or without her. How do you do this? Simply by making more girl friends. Be CAREFUL, don't do anything stupid and start hooking up with all girls as if you are doing it for revenge. She'll easily notice and will leave you in a second.

The thing you have to do here is arise the fear in her that she might lose you. Widen your social circle, make more friends with girls (FRIENDS, not fuck buddies), hang around more often and busy yourself with anything that takes up time. The less you are available, the better. At the same time, be there for her whenever she needs you.

Good luck

I really don't understand how you guys dont see how unhealthy this relationship is.

You can't CHANGE her behavior. You can't CHANGE how you feel about it.

You might surpress the feelings for a week or 2. But that ain't going to change shit about it.

If a relationship doesn't feel "right" in the very beginning, it certainly won't after a longer period of time.


The bottom line is this: are you ok with her being flirty and liking attention? If yes, you do not bother, go on, there is no problem. If not, you aren't ok and as a consequence you start typing questions on this forum to deal with your insecurities. You are here. You aren't ok with it. It's not going to change.

But ok, please continue. You'll find out soon what will happen.

And yes, you can find "hot" girls who aren't attention-seekers. Of course you can. Attention-seeking behavior can also be found with ugly girls by the way.

@Apocalyptica. I do agree with you that attention seeking behaviour is there with ugly girls too. But it's not like she's working for attention in this case. It's not like she's an attention whore, she just enjoys the fact that she has guys' attention. What the fuck should she do? Tell them to go fuck off, don't treat me nice? That would be pretty stupid...

I don't agree that this relationship is unhealthy. Every relationship has problems. Smaller or bigger issues, they're always there. I don't see how this is a deal-breaker. It is only if OP lets his own betaness overwhelm him and does not take action.

I never said he could change her, that's just OP's idea that sooner or later she would stop this behaviour. Obviously she won't ever stop this, as I said earlier it would be just stupid.

But you CAN change how you feel. How can you take feelings as such absolute things when they are pretty much the most amorph things in human nature? You have absolute control over your emotions. Emotions are not the product of facts. They are products of perception. If you change your perception, you can change your own emotions. Stronger emotions are harder to change because they evolve from a deeper belief but it's never impossible to change the way you feel about things.

I'll give a very easy to understand example:

When an AFC gets into the game he will feel bad when he's rejected. But if he works a lot, then his perception will change. He will accept rejection as part of the game and it will no longer affect him so much.

It's the same in this situation. If he did something productive with his life instead of overthinking this situation like Xoved suggested, and accepted that it's not him who's lower value like neo suggested, then this flirting thing would no longer be such a big issue.

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Instinct: I see what you are saying.

The thing is that a girl who adores attention and let guys surround her all night and hit on her isn't behaving like she is in a stable relationship.

I do not see this as a mature girl.

Of course many girls like attention. Everybody does! But it doesn't mean she has to go out and let her being surrounded by those guys.

I know exactly what the OP talks about. I know those girls. I've been with a girl like that. It is their nature to let guys like them, to let guys hitting on them. Most likely they won't cheat, but then again i feel it is quite disrespectful behavior thowards your partner. She could equally just brush them off and have a nice night out with her girl-friends. That, Instead of being in the club with guys trying to be in her pants. She knows those guys want to fuck her, still she allows them to be arround her for her own good (her own attention seeking behavior). That is pretty egoistic.

The OP might be able to change the way he feels about it, but the facts still remain the same. And deep inside he will always be the guy that in fact gets disrespected by his girlfriend.

She might be hot, but she isn't really behaving as a girlfriend should behave.

Let me put it like this. Imagine she is a HB6 instead of a HB10. I doubt if the OP would still continue the relationship with her. He is staying for her looks. Sooner or later her behavior will make him sick and things will get fucked up even more.

I can't tell why he is staying with her. It would be very bad if only for her looks. If that's the case the relationship will end in a trainwreck regardless of the girlfriend's behaviour.

I stand by my point. She is allowing dudes to adore her because it's only good for her. As long as she's not cheating, it's not her fault, it's the idiots' fault who give her attention which they won't ever get rewarded for.

Of course opinions differ and morals differ. For me I don't care about how many guys are trying to get into my gf's pants and to how many parties she goes with them. As long as she's just using them, I can't help but laugh at all of them. I couldn't be mad at my girlfriend nor get hurt because she doesn't deny what is given to her. But maybe it's just me and if OP thinks he REALLY can't take this in the long run then I can't help but agree with you in ending it, though it would be a sad scenario in my eyes. Insecurities like this could and should be dealt with. Breaking up in this case I think may save OP from some difficulties but it will not make him grow as a person.

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Wow, I feel for you--talk about torture. Her personality of loving attention needs to change or you are going to go nuts.
No guy is going to have a GF who acts like this, if they are a real guy. So, I think the decision rests with her.
Basically, is she ready to have a real BF who cares for her but won't put up with her BS. It depends if she is mature enough for just grabbing attention or having an actual relationship. (You said her ex was nice but, maybe too nice and put up with the BS.)
I could not stomach it man. Hard way to go.
You will either sweep her off her feet or she will not like to be controlled. Either way, it sounds like she may be a high maintenance item.
I wish you luck.

Well, you are right. He shouldn't break up.

Let the OP find out what is best for him and learn. But he might have a very tough time ahead.

The reason why i told him to break up is because i had exactly the same scenario in the past, and i suffered. But i learned a lot.

I have had enough of arguing about this. You know what? I agree with you guys. Moreoever I will advocate this from now on. Anytime a girl doesn't act like she's the property of her boyfriend this should be considered as disrespectful behaviour and her independent sorry ass should be dumped back to the kitchen where she belongs. Everything makes sense now. All the great advices here, that OP should make more girl friends looking like he's hitting on them but in reality he doesn't and don't accepting the same behaviour from his girlfriend is absolutely genius. Double standards are the solution to all relationship problems. Thanks for opening up my eyes guys, I will now call up my girlfriend and tell her that she is no longer allowed to appreciate guy attention because the only attention she should be comfortable with is mine. FML for taking it so long to understand this.

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I'll just throw in my opinion based on the OP.
Ok , first stop.

First off congrats on the catch. I don't know many guys that pride themselves with 10's .Also congrats on your progress.

Now , on to the problem at hand. There's a difference between an attention lover and an attention seeker.
Everyone loves attention , that's perfectly natural. From what I see your girls is not a seeker.
Also she's a conservative. That's hardly the trait of a seeker.

Well done. You seem to understand something that most people don't - calibration.
She's a conservative ,remember ? She's also a 10. She gets hit on a lot and yet she's been with only 2 other guys ,right ?
She's basically a picky eater , so she's not prone to throwing out a dish once she picked it.
Unless you lock her in a room , guys will hit on her. There's really little relevance whether it's while she's out with friends or waiting in line at the grocery store.
I'm sensing some insecurity on your part here. If this would've been going on for 1 year then I'd get the point , but it's just 2 months in.
It's a good idea to get used to being the leader.
But anyway, as you said she's spoiled and used to being invited places , so if you want her to start taking initiative with you you gotta ease into it , in a sense.
For example , next time the 2 of you go out tell her something along the lines of:
"A'right , tonight you do the planning. And it better be fun or I'm not putting out."
Say it jokingly , the point of it is to get her brain working. See where she takes you , and go from there.

Relationships are all about equilibrium. Successful ones anyway. Being a leader doesn't necessarily mean having to lead 100% of the time , but rather being able to lead 100% of the time.


Anyway , she now took you to whatever place. Later she's gonna think:
"Hey we had a great time when I took him to x place. Maybe we should do y next. Actually I'll call him up and set up a date."

Her showing you her convos and laughing about them with you is as green as a green flag gets.Strong point for her here.
#1. Just because some afc tried to grab her ass doesn't mean she can't take a ride home. Mainly because she was with her friend. I can pretty much guarantee she wouldn't have taken the ride alone ,just with him. Relax.
#2. So do I. She's a cool person ,high quality. The thing with 'conservative' people or picky eaters is this. They have high standards. So chances are that those few people she did date were high quality.True high quality is rare. So yeah , just because a relationship didn't work doesn't mean she should ban that guy from her life forever. This of course applies after enough time has passed ,and as you state he's an old ex. No real problem here.
It's not like they broke up 1 month ago , that's an entirely different scenario.
#3. I'm guessing that's the majority of her male friends ? You can't expect her to turn anti-social.
#4. Typical afc. Of course she thought it was friendly. You know what's up cuz you're a dude. It's easy for a girl to get confused. If a guy is too much of a poos or doesn't escalate , he's being to safe , thus she lands him in the friendzone , or very close to it. That's most likely the case here.
If the guy were clear about his intentions ,she'd have known what's up and denied it in the first place.
Also , again , she told you about it and never contacted him / said she isn't doing that again.
Massive greens again.
#1. Not an attention seeker , not even an attention lover. Rather ,she's an attention getter. She's hot , what do you expect. Also I really don't understand what so many guys are being so bothered about. Why do most of you have such a big problem with your girl appreciating the attention she gets from guys ? Unless she's obviously hot and takes duck-faced-selfies , posts them on facebook with the standard "OMG IM SO UGLEEH" comment attached , she's not a seeker.
#2. You should definitely do no such thing.
#3. There's really no "stuff". You're seeing things that aren't there.

Besides everything I listed in this post , you also mention she calls and texts every few hours.
Seriously dude , how many greens does it take for you to realize it's all good ?

You mention her being a prude , a conservative , and yet you somehow manage to utterly and completely ignore that fact through-out your entire post.


My conclusion is this:

Deep down , you still think this girl is out of your league. You're seriously trying hard to find reasons to leave this girl.

You're gonna regret it big time if you don't stop doing that.
Most people want success but are terrified by it. That's exactly what you're doing. You got her , you did it the right way , you stood out from the crowds of AFC's. You've earned this success , now stop acting stupid and trying to rid yourself of it.


Good luck OP. Emphasis on stop acting stupid.

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