Yeah, when you read this you probably think "whoosh, better him than me" Well be glad if you don't have this.
Many many guys once had an oneitis but I rarely find any story about one that went as long as this one. (Though I hope someone can prove I'm not the only one)
Having this oneitis seriously fucked up practically my whole lovelife. Which makes me a 20 year old kissless virgin who want's to get rid of the whole mindset in vain.

As you may have calculated, it started as a silly school crush. Nothing bad about that. But if I regret one thing back then it's believing Hollywood too much. I was naive and believed in that mysterious power that makes so many movies (and love songs not to mention) totally romantically inaccurate.
Of course wisdom does not get at age 12. But through the years no one ever provided me a different perspective on things. Untill the age of 16 I wouldn't bother about this stuff anyway.

But only in recent years I have come to realize how much I have learned wrongfully.
All this time from the day I had that crush I believed what people said that eventually she will fall for your love and other bullshit. So for some reason I sticked with it through the years and my needyness to her became worse and worse.
Did I mention we have never dated? kissed or done anything romatically? yeah it's that bad.
I always waited for the right moment to approach her. Lesson learned the hard way: there is no right moment.
Being religiously raised I thought some prayers would help as it was told to me. "The lord will guide you".. well fuck that I'm an atheist now since a few years back and already life life happier knowing there's no magic guiding me but myself and my knowledge.

Anyway... The girl really has a charming personality. Very bright, spontanious, and full of humor. Something I can't blame my mind for loving. But because of my obsession of her I let so many oppertunities slide with other girls.
Not so long ago the oneitis feeling seemed to lessen as I became fully aware it was an illness. But since the beginning of this year I suddenly had to constantly think of her.
This time I thought I would just deliberately act like an idiot hoping I would get past the whole thing. Kinda like making a drawing on paper that doesn't go well so you just grab your pencil and rub it all over the paper and throw the piece away to start anew.
So in my first message to her I instantly told her she was my crush and all for that time of period (I'm aware I know) which would have probably freaked her out. And then I acted like a needy guy with trying to get something done involving her (another AFC bonus point) Well, a few messages later... That thing involving her actually worked to my surprise... Ok fine, but getting rid of the feeling didn't work. As a matter of fact I think it has now become even worse.

I now constantly think of her every day forcing myself not to. Even had a nightmare of her playing in a porn movie and everybody seeing it after I heard a rumor a classmate of mine fucked her in the meantime.
The latter also is weird. What if my classmate really fucked her? Hell what if my whole school or friend circle fucked her? I shouldn't care nor bother thinking about it but yet I do. I bet it's because of that stupid feeling of "Women purity" and her being reserved just for you. The same kind of feeling when you hear that innocent well raised cute looking girl from down the street that you know did a threesome with the worst scum in town, but then worse.



I apologise for the long (and probably painfull to read) novel of mine.
I'm fully aware of everything that's wrong and I really try my best to get rid of it but it just keeps coming back! This oneitis haunts me.

I read about the GFTOG method. But that wouldn't work for me because firstly my mind is so fed up with this girl, and secondly through the years I have developed zero skill in dating girls let alone being able to fuck them in a short period of time.


Any help or advice would be so greatly appreciated!

The only way to forget about someone is to meat other people.Make new friends , hang out with people more often , take up your passions and hobbies and actually practice them.


You want your mind to focus on how exciting your life is. Consequently , if you're life becomes exciting and you have things to look forward to every day , you won't find yourself obsessing over her any more.

Another option is to completely cut any form of contact with her. If you're truly committed to healing , remove her from your fb friends , block her IM's & phone number and simply crawl through the 'pain' each day. It will take you 1-2-3 or maybe 4 months , but hey , considering the 8 years...you ain't gone shit to lose.

Another ? Stop caring. Simply stop giving a fck about her. She's not that amazing. Trust me ,every one of us has that person who we were infatuated with for weeks , months or years. Not saying she's not great , just that there are tons of equally as or even greater women with whom you might actually have a shot.

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Dude an 8 year oneitis and you're only 20 !!! Forget this girl dude, you need to go out and fuck other women.

Destroy the idea of pure innocent love, its a myth.

Thank you for both responses!
That's the weird thing, I'm quite succesfull with my made-from-hobby-work I do and am busy with it every day. It is something I put a lot of time into, and am really proud of. I love to share the things I do with everyone around me and their appreciation is what keeps me going aswell. yet still these thoughts of that girl cross my mind every day. Meeting more people is a good suggestion I forgot. In a period I met a great (altough occupied) girl my oneitis worries were less even though I had no interest dating her.
That would be a bit tough in the small community I live in. It could come off weird if I suddenly remove her from FB. It's not like I want to ignore her, I would be fine with seeing her as just a person to casually greet. She's not the one messaging so Ignoring her through media is no problem.
Precisely. Conciously I'm fully aware of that and that's what I'm struggling with. Because somewhere in my unconciousness mind's archive there are still drawers filled with her that I'm trying to get rid off.
A bit like the quote above, it's what I'm trying but just cannot seem to get working. I have been raised with people telling me true love was real. And luckely I'm quite past that mindset so I wouldn't bother fucking a girl I just met the same day if not hour/min you name it. But my lack of social skill regarding women makes it impossible for me. I'm not shy at all or terrible looking and always fully confident especially with friends around but when it comes to girls I just treat them too casually making me the most unattractive guy to get fucked by.

Also I'm indeed only 20, but 2 years ago which seemed like 2 days ago I was just 18. If I don't do anything about this I end up in the guiness world records with "50 year old - Oldest virgin with longest crush in the world" title. Life just goes too fast and I'm 30 before I know it.
Right on the money!

EXACTLY