Need help, Girlfriend ready to leave me



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:26 am 
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Freezing her out isn't directing a lot of energy and playing games if he has the I don't care mentality and games other girls and letting his soon to be ex girlfriend be the one to iniate ALL the contact with him he has nothing to lose either she realizes that she misses him and makes more effort for him or she just breaks up with him which is about to happen anyway
This is exactly how I feel at the moment. I would love to just have things go back to the way they were but they obviously aren't... So I figure that maybe I can try a few things before the end is official. Right now im just making myself busy. So today I've been ignoring her text messages. She's been sending me simple "Hi" and "hey :)" messages. I've responded to 1 simply with "Hey hows it going. Im just doing my thing". So far she's initiated all contact today, but the small 1 word text's are so boring and show zero effort. :/


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:51 am 
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So keep it up until she starts putting some effort forth and starts working for your attention again. And if she doesnt, continue to move away.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:02 am 
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So keep it up until she starts putting some effort forth and starts working for your attention again. And if she doesnt, continue to move away.
Thats what I intend to do. I feel like I left a good enough impression on her this weekend to get her thinking about me. Especially since she took some form of initiative to message me. We'll see how it goes.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:26 am 
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Ok guys, I have met a wonderful girl that I've been in a relationship with for 3 months now. Prior to this I was single for 3 years doing my own thing, dating women and making friends. I didnt have any game, or last I didnt know I did. So heres the story...

So after meeting this girl we dated for a month before I asked her to be my GF. She was great! Showed me a ton of affection, sent me cute text messages all the time, sent me sweet voice mails before and while at work, posted cute things on my Facebook page. She was totally into me.

Towards our 2nd month I noticed things were slowing down. She wasn't texting much or calling me at all. I also had noticed she was texting 2 of her male friends much more often. I had no problem with this as she had mentioned these friends to me before we made things official, they were high school friends. One night I noticed her getting repeated text messages from one of these dudes and I couldnt help but to react out of jealousy and insecurity... I told her I wasnt liking that she was constantly texting while with me. This bothered her big-time and although she was upset she was reassuring me that its only a friend and thats it. Later in the night I couldnt help but to check her phone and of course it was nothing but small chat about a band her friend wanted to see... I felt horrible and couldnt believe I did that. So I wound up admitting to what I had done and apologized to her for not respecting her space. She got extremely upset and threatened to go home, she told me that her previous relationship was a very controlling one and she wasnt interested in doing that again. So she basically gave me an ultimatum, that I stop or she was simply going to have to leave for good.

Now 3 months in and after a fantastic Valentines day and also after talking things over I had felt like things were getting better. She had started up again with the affection and messaging but it quickly stopped cold turkey. Lately its gotten to the point to where I now get almost no calls, little to no text messages or 1 word replies. When we hang out it just seems like shes distant and shows very little affection all over again. She also began texting one of her male friends a bunch, more than usual. Last night she stood over and slept on her back, seemed like she just didnt want to be there. Later in the night I woke up to use the bathroom and noticed her phone sitting on the side of the bed. I couldnt help but to look again... :? As I scrolled through her text she had been texting this friend from the time she wakes up to the time she went to bed. All small talk but small flirting included this time... He had told her that despite him being in a relationship himself, if he was close by he would do anything to see her beautiful face, to which she replied "youre so sweet, i would kiss you". Later in the afternoon I she had texted him "I feel so bad. Today I totally forgot I had a boyfriend, its that bad lol... I dont want to hurt him but I dont feel the same, like I dont feel the same in the relationship anymore". He basically told her to do whats right and she said "I just feel bad. This is what I hate about relationships. I dont want to hurt him because he treats me right and cares so much for me. I just dont want to lead him on. He got all upset with me because he thought I was talking to other guys and making moves on them. He doesnt trust me and his insecurity is such a turn off". Her male friend said "yes insecurity is very unattractive" and she replied with "Yes! Exactly". Thats pretty much where they ended their conversation....

So now I feel horrible. I know I shouldnt have snooped around her phone again but now at least I know what she's thinking and how she feels and that were possibly done :(

Do you guys think I stand a chance at fixing what I seem to have totally screwed up? If so, what can I do?

Please help, I love her a great deal and dont want to lose her :/
How do you know if those 2 dudes weren't her ex-boyfriends that she managed to hook them back in for relapses and mental torture?!? You are going to be her 3rd dumb dude texting along side her other 2 ding dongs!
What's happening is that, she was looking for a guy to replace all her exes and thought you were the greener grass on the other side of the fence. What she found out in about a month that you weren't so green; you were really brown! No challenge, easy to tame and you're too nice = AFC.

Snooping on her phone is bad; shows insecurity. You should have screened her better. What you are dealing with is a social drifter; she drifts from man to man and having sex like you wouldn't believe behind your back. Always looking for the perfect Alpha man that never exists. An Alpha person who is looking for a strong long term relationship isn't going to settle down with trash social drifter. Social drifters are really good only for sex if you can string them along long enough.

What's your option? Move on. Next time she texted, just text her back saying I'm so busy with this hot babe pussy -- oh just squirted a little bit on my tongue! End it with a grin and then a "Bye". Don't be too nice to her. After all, she wasn't nice to you right? That should send this drifter a little message that while you were a bit weak, you've still got some pride! Keep the pride, because that's all you got being a real man!


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:40 am 
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You should read my thread man, no joke. Ignoring her, backing off. Legit, the only way. I would die to be in your situation right now


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:23 pm 
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Well, day 2 of no contact and only allowing her to message me. Today she sent me a nice good morning message. Later in the afternoon said she had a headache these past 2 days so shes going to the doctors. Just a minute ago she sent me a text "Do you feel differently about me now?"

How should I answer that? Should I?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:05 pm 
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Good job freezing her out. She's starting to worry a tad. Serves her right.

If I were you, I'd just answer with "no, lol. I've just been busy." This will temporarily reassure her. Then, continue ignoring her for another 24 hours to get her second guessing and worrying once again. Games suck but sometimes they need to be played to get what you want.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:16 am 
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Well... Things went to shit out of no where but to be honest, thanks to you guys I dont feel so bad... :?

She just sent the following out of no where,

"Im sorry, but I dont know how I feel. Half of me feels like Im not fully into it anymore and the other half wants me to try but I find myself being grumpy with you and I cant shake it... I try and see past it but I cant. And the Im sorry is also because I know its not fair to you"

So, I'll take this as a learning experience and apply what you guys have taught me to whom ever comes into my life next. I gotta admit though, this girl... She was different from every other one I've been with. I know the pain is going to kick in pretty soon. :oops: But what can you do?

Thanks guys.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:26 am 
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She just sent the following out of no where,

"Im sorry, but I dont know how I feel. Half of me feels like Im not fully into it anymore and the other half wants me to try but I find myself being grumpy with you and I cant shake it... I try and see past it but I cant. And the Im sorry is also because I know its not fair to you"
Good job going NC.
Keep on ignoring her, obviously she's trying to rattle your cage now. Any emotional reaction from you would assure her that it's better to leave you. If you don't give her that assurance she'll start doubting it. Do not take 1 single message from her as a reason to talk and become all soft again.

From the few quotes you posted my impression is she's a descent girl, she just lost attraction.
As you can see she's thinking about you. That's exactly what you want, she'll start missing you.

Stay unavailable, if she starts asking you why you don't reply, go with Fly_Swatter's advice and text her that you've been busy. Do start being busy, anything that distracts you is cool. Continue what you are doing and keep us posted.

You want to give her the impression that her mood swings don't affect you, and she has to feel like you can happily walk away. That's how you get her attraction back. You need to stay independent...


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:52 am 
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Thanks CMD.

So my question is, if she doesnt bother from this point on how long should I wait to start dating again? Should I just go straight back into it? We had a 3 month relationship, its not a long time but at the same time with the amount of feelings developed within those 3 months it feels like we were together longer.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:02 am 
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Thanks CMD.

So my question is, if she doesnt bother from this point on how long should I wait to start dating again? Should I just go straight back into it? We had a 3 month relationship, its not a long time but at the same time with the amount of feelings developed within those 3 months it feels like we were together longer.

If the relationship is lost, make sure to ask her what you did wrong. I know the keyboard jockeys will be like "nooo, screw her, move on" but my point is not to get you back together with her. My point is to learn from your mistakes. She is the one who can tell you from first hand experience what the problem was that pushed her away and that is one of the primary ways you will learn how to not do it again in the future. Do it when you know that it is time to fold your cards and call it a day.

And you don't wait at all to start dating again.. Keep on moving and keep on banging. It's funny when you have sex with another women how it places things into perspective. I think it has to do with the abundance mentality. Helps you detach yourself from the situation and see the bigger picture.

Dean.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:18 am 
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Thanks CMD.

So my question is, if she doesnt bother from this point on how long should I wait to start dating again? Should I just go straight back into it? We had a 3 month relationship, its not a long time but at the same time with the amount of feelings developed within those 3 months it feels like we were together longer.

If the relationship is lost, make sure to ask her what you did wrong. I know the keyboard jockeys will be like "nooo, screw her, move on" but my point is not to get you back together with her. My point is to learn from your mistakes. She is the one who can tell you from first hand experience what the problem was that pushed her away and that is one of the primary ways you will learn how to not do it again in the future. Do it when you know that it is time to fold your cards and call it a day.

And you don't wait at all to start dating again.. Keep on moving and keep on banging. It's funny when you have sex with another women how it places things into perspective. I think it has to do with the abundance mentality. Helps you detach yourself from the situation and see the bigger picture.

Dean.
That was discussed already. I had gotten a bit on the insecure side and looked at her text messages. After doing so and finding nothing I admitted to my actions. This totally blew things up as she claimed her last relationship was horrible and the guy was crazy controlling. This was something she definitely did not want again for her or her son. Despite her trying to ignore it and move on she just kept believing that she couldnt and well... Now you know where it lead to.

I gotta prevent any insecurity or jealousy from showing. Most of all, next time I cant control it I just gotta keep my dam mouth shut... lol

Anyway, I just got hit up by a straight 9/10 girl I've known for a while, we actually dated at one point but I dropped it because she was to hot to handle. Told me to hit her up tonight lol... Only problem with this chick is shes got 3 kids. :roll:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:37 am 
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LULZ

And now she just texted me

"Im sorry babe, I love you!"

So funny... I feel bad but I know Im doing right at the same time. I just hope that if this does turn out to work. That I dont go through this shit all over again, but I know I probably will.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:39 am 
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Keep it up...she is getting cooked. Don't let her regain her frame again. You are riding out the storm well!

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:49 am 
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LULZ

And now she just texted me

"Im sorry babe, I love you!"

So funny... I feel bad but I know Im doing right at the same time. I just hope that if this does turn out to work. That I dont go through this shit all over again, but I know I probably will.
Keep your frame bro. Hold the fort. You're doing well. You're taking control and power. Don't give up. She'll be eating your cum out of her hands if you keep on winning.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.


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