Ok guys, I have met a wonderful girl that I've been in a relationship with for 3 months now. Prior to this I was single for 3 years doing my own thing, dating women and making friends. I didnt have any game, or last I didnt know I did. So heres the story...

So after meeting this girl we dated for a month before I asked her to be my GF. She was great! Showed me a ton of affection, sent me cute text messages all the time, sent me sweet voice mails before and while at work, posted cute things on my Facebook page. She was totally into me.

Towards our 2nd month I noticed things were slowing down. She wasn't texting much or calling me at all. I also had noticed she was texting 2 of her male friends much more often. I had no problem with this as she had mentioned these friends to me before we made things official, they were high school friends. One night I noticed her getting repeated text messages from one of these dudes and I couldnt help but to react out of jealousy and insecurity... I told her I wasnt liking that she was constantly texting while with me. This bothered her big-time and although she was upset she was reassuring me that its only a friend and thats it. Later in the night I couldnt help but to check her phone and of course it was nothing but small chat about a band her friend wanted to see... I felt horrible and couldnt believe I did that. So I wound up admitting to what I had done and apologized to her for not respecting her space. She got extremely upset and threatened to go home, she told me that her previous relationship was a very controlling one and she wasnt interested in doing that again. So she basically gave me an ultimatum, that I stop or she was simply going to have to leave for good.

Now 3 months in and after a fantastic Valentines day and also after talking things over I had felt like things were getting better. She had started up again with the affection and messaging but it quickly stopped cold turkey. Lately its gotten to the point to where I now get almost no calls, little to no text messages or 1 word replies. When we hang out it just seems like shes distant and shows very little affection all over again. She also began texting one of her male friends a bunch, more than usual. Last night she stood over and slept on her back, seemed like she just didnt want to be there. Later in the night I woke up to use the bathroom and noticed her phone sitting on the side of the bed. I couldnt help but to look again... As I scrolled through her text she had been texting this friend from the time she wakes up to the time she went to bed. All small talk but small flirting included this time... He had told her that despite him being in a relationship himself, if he was close by he would do anything to see her beautiful face, to which she replied "youre so sweet, i would kiss you". Later in the afternoon I she had texted him "I feel so bad. Today I totally forgot I had a boyfriend, its that bad lol... I dont want to hurt him but I dont feel the same, like I dont feel the same in the relationship anymore". He basically told her to do whats right and she said "I just feel bad. This is what I hate about relationships. I dont want to hurt him because he treats me right and cares so much for me. I just dont want to lead him on. He got all upset with me because he thought I was talking to other guys and making moves on them. He doesnt trust me and his insecurity is such a turn off". Her male friend said "yes insecurity is very unattractive" and she replied with "Yes! Exactly". Thats pretty much where they ended their conversation....

So now I feel horrible. I know I shouldnt have snooped around her phone again but now at least I know what she's thinking and how she feels and that were possibly done

Do you guys think I stand a chance at fixing what I seem to have totally screwed up? If so, what can I do?

Please help, I love her a great deal and dont want to lose her :/

I'm just going to be blunt.

It's probably over. The second you admitted to looking through her phone her attraction and respect for you probably dropped way off. She said she would kiss this guy and that she "forgot" she had a boyfriend.

The BEST thing you can do is end the relationship yourself to save face and cut off all contact with her. That MAY fix things for the future or it may not, but that's pretty much the only thing you can do from where I'm sitting.

Get back out there, game over girls and move on

She's been flirting with other guys behind your back, and it was showing in her behaviour (going cold turkey, one word replies, distance). So of course you had every damn fucking reason to be insecure, and of course you were damn curious to see what the hell she's been texting with her friends. Then she calls your insecurity a turn off... LOL. Girl logic.

Don't try to fix anything. Just leave her ass. She hasn't been loyal to you and she doesn't deserve you bro. Don't even tell her you went through her phone. Vanish just like that. Hit up other girls.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Well a few minutes ago I called her to see how her day was going and to try and strike up a conversation. She sounded so annoyed and bothered so I asked her if she was ok, she said yeah. I told her "Im sorry if I annoyed her or something. These past 2 days youve just been sounding so unhappy".

A few minutes later I got a text saying "It gets to be a little too much sometimes because you always ask me if everything is fine. I dont want to start ok, lets just have a good night when we meet for dinner ".

Totally left me feeling like a sack of shit. :/

Hey man,

It's time to turn the things around

Go no contact for 3 days, don't awnser any text/calls unless they are very important (like her grandmother died or something). But if she asks you something, just ignore it, after those 3 days, say you where busy. Do not initiate anything, just chill, and do nothing.

In this time, think things trough, see how you feel, see if you miss her. Think about the fact that you want a relationship like this?

Distance yourself from the situation, it makes you think better. If she shows no intrest at all in you those days, you know she isn't intrested in you anymore. If she does, her attraction will rise.

Well, Im going to see how things go tonight. Being that things dont actually look good I kinda want to fool around with stuff though. Do you think some Push/Pull or other PUA techniques could get a little spark going here?

If so, lend me some pointers please.

What you want to achieve is emotion from her side, if she feels something from you, she thinks 'i must still love him', cause he makes me feel this way. Good or bad, emotion is what you want. That's why i would advice to go no contact, normally that would make her feel something, why isn't he awnsering? What is he doing? Did i do something wrong? If she gets these toughts, you are good. If she doesn't you know where you're at.

Push/Pull is great in the 'unkown' zone, where she risk losing you, when things aren't declared yet. You are in a relationship now, that's a different kind of game.

I doubt this guy will follow through with our advice. My two cents.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

This thing is over... Not officialy but you two past the point beyond return... So you lost her, and you cant do anything at this point except prolong your pain...

ONLY thing you can do is to disappear... Without explanation or anything, just drop off the radar. Any other move you try to do will result as a fail.

Disappearing at this point is ONLY thing that bring her back (and not so soon) or allow you to move on. Harsh truth, but really the only way... I know it is very hard thing to do, and that every piece of your body and mind want to do some magical fix, but believe that we all been there, and we would be happier if we lisened to same advices that we are giving to you

After all, 3 months is way too early for all this shit.

Good luck

You should never sneak into your girlfriend's phone.Ever. Two reasons for that:

1) Everything's good and you now feel like shit for doing it , and establish a pattern for yourself.You WILL do it again.

2) Everything is NOT good , you spot flirty texts and you become immensely insecure. If things are not over yet, you're now powerless and the only way left is down.

Seriously...just don't do it. Nothing good ever comes outta it.

Also,stop being all apologetic. You call her and she's all worked up and annoyed ? Why are you apologizing ? The simple fact that you call her gets her annoyed and you're the one apologizing ? Fuck that shit.

Keeping your head down like this only makes it easier for her to chop it off. Fight back and have some damn respect for yourself. Prioritize. Is SHE making you happy ? No ? Good , soft / hard next her. Yeah,you risk losing her and you probably don't want that. But then again , don't you ? If she's not making you happy , why keep her around ?

Emotional attachment is no excuse for living in misery.

One more thing. When a girl decides to leave you , the single 'right way' to act is to remain un-phased.You both keep your dignity and also keep her guessing.

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How to keep a girl.

Everyone has already given you the advice.

The ONLY thing you can do is to drop off the radar. If you hang around you're going to lose her and every chance of ever getting her back. Simple.

Drop off the radar, do not see her tonight but go out with friends instead. Break off your plans with her by simply saying "Hey, I'm gonna have to cancel tonight, got stuff to do, sorry" then don't contact her for a few days, even if she tries contacting you, just ignore her.

If in a few days shes trying to get you to talk to her, shes interesting and you can start gaming as usual, if not, it's done.

BITCH PLEASE! Not another one... FFS DO NOT SEE HOW IT GOES! Cancel on her, do not contact her. You want to know how to save this? You want to know how to make her attracted to you again? Then FOLLOW the advice you've been given!
You sound very similar to this guy: loss-of-interest-vt157179.html
and you are going to end up like him if you don't stick to the advice.

Become unavailable, cancel the date. Become unavailable for at least 1 whole week! Do NOT cantact her anymore, wait for HER to reach out to you. You can still answer her, a hard next would be too obvious as I feel you've never nexted her before...

PLEASE follow the advice you have been given and don't initiate any contact! If she texts you, text back a couple of hours later and be very short/unaffected. If you do it CONSISTENTLY over at least a week, she'll start to think she's losing you, she'll miss you and you get some attraction back.
If she calls you out on your unavailability, tell her you are really busy. I strongly suggest start getting busy with hobbies/friends, that way you don't have to lie to her and it keeps you distracted.

So the goal is to become less needy and NOT to make her your freaking priority in your universe! PLEASE just do it, or you will lose your girl like the guy in the other thread... Your choice bro

Looking through someone's phone is a really shitty thing to do, but what's done is done, and you've seen flirty messages including one that says she FORGOT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND and that SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME.

It really hurts I know, and I appreciate you have feelings for her, but I can't help but thinking the only solution is a HARD NEXT.

Kick her to the fucking curb and don't pick her back up. Her behaviour is out of line big time.

Exactly if he was smart he'd freeze her out or just dump her but he has a really bad case of oneitis

Why would anyone want to freeze this girl out and direct a lot of energy playing games, pushing and pulling to win this girl back. Just throw out the trash imo.