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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:49 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:57 pm
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Location: Miami, FL
If you guy have read my post before, you would know that I am an expert in turning girls off even when they start off to be extremely interested at first. In fact, I only act when the girl seems interested, otherwise I would not take any initiative. (Yes! call me approval seeking!!) At the end I always end up in the "Friendzone". And we are friends forever.... this sucks.

This time, I met this new girl in class, who I think is a potential gf material. Just like before, she shows a lot of interest when we first met.(Which is why I have the guts to talk to her....) I do not want to screw up this time and end up in the friendzone like before. So before I do anything (asking her out, showing my intention. etc) I would like to get some advice from this forum. A step by step guide would be great :D

I have a class with her this semester, and we exchanged number while studying in the library. (she just happened to run into me in the library before the exam, and she was the one who asked for my number). So far, we exchanged number, and talked about the exam afterward for a couple minutes. And we would talk a little in class. Thats pretty much it. As you can see, I am still in a very early stage, I don't want to to anything to screw this up, and thats why I am seeking advice from you guys at this very early stage.

Here is the list of things that I have learnt from my failures and things that I would try to do this time to make sure I wont make the same mistake.

1) Be clear of my intention at the early stage, but don't show too much interest at first.

2) Don't be a giant pussy. Escalate and perform kino.

3) Don't act like her gay best friend. Treat her like a girl who I want to have sex with. flirt with her

4) Don't be needy. Don't be desperate.

5) I failed to make decisive action.

6) I was too nice, I give and give without ever asking anything in return.

7) I put her on a pedestal, thinking she is perfect, thinking she is better than me, and I am not good enough for her.

8 ) Lastly, this time I would talk to more than one girl! In my previous failures, when I was talking to that one girl, I pretty much ignore other girls... even if they are hotter and showed interest. BIG MISTAKE!!!

As you can see, my mistakes pretty much give me a big ass tittle on my forehead that says "Chump" or "Pussy".

So for this girl, what would be my next step??


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:13 am 
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Location: Miami, FL
Boost BABY!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2012 3:02 pm
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Hey buddy - you aren't alone.

Just read this: the-friendzone-am-i-reading-her-wrong-h ... 42612.html

I've literally had all the problems you had ESPECIALLY this one:

7) I put her on a pedestal, thinking she is perfect, thinking she is better than me, and I am not good enough for her.

I've learnt that is the WORST thing you can do.. I got myself into that mindset and it's probably the main reason everything turned to shit. If you go by the checklist you'll be fine - as I've found out.

Once you stop fixating on one girl and go find some others you do eventually realize just how stupid you were in that situation, and how that girl really wasn't that special.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:17 pm 
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Quote:

Once you stop fixating on one girl and go find some others you do eventually realize just how stupid you were in that situation, and how that girl really wasn't that special.
This is so true, I recently got friendzoned by this girl who i thought was special. until I met this new girl.... And I realized how not special that girl is lol...


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:43 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:

Once you stop fixating on one girl and go find some others you do eventually realize just how stupid you were in that situation, and how that girl really wasn't that special.
This is so true, I recently got friendzoned by this girl who i thought was special. until I met this new girl.... And I realized how not special that girl is lol...
EXACTLY. You are almost blinded by a girl when you like her, you either don't see her flaws or just flat-out accept them. I was comparing a girl I liked in attractiveness to people like Mila Kunis for christ sake! Just because at the time I REALLY did believe she was that hot! It was only when I stopped liking her and got with other girls that I realized just how unbelievably average she was.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:15 pm 
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Quote:
The 9th corner of hell , A.K.A The Friendzone.

"The Worst That Can Happen"

or, "A Portrait of the Chump as a Young Man"

You meet a beautiful woman, you don't have the courage to make a move on her, but you become "friends".


You spend the next several months (or years!) of your life obsessing about this woman, pining for her from a distance, never having the courage to even touch her hand. Occasionally, you'll get a friendly hug or a friendly peck on the cheek, and you will pathetically crave and need these displays of affection, which for her are nothing but friendly overtures, but for you are the tip of some *imaginary* iceberg of lust and sexual furor. You'll go home, lay on your bed, and jerk off three times a day while fantasizing about her.


You watch her date other men, smiling and shaking their hand, patting them on the back, (because she's your FRIEND, after all). It's like a knife in the gut when they stick their tongue down her throat in front of you, and you can't even allow yourself to imagine them ****ing her because you might have to kill yourself.


You won't be able to approach other women either because you've convinced yourself that you're supposed to be with this one woman, and it's better to be her "friend" than nothing at all to her. So you'll be alone, just you and your right hand, and the misery will build, the frustration will grow, until it is unbearable. You're rolling around on the floor crying, or bent over clutching your gut, saying "Why? Why? Why won't she love me?" and you decide you MUST do something. Anything! You agonize over it for days, going over every possible permutation of the conversation in your head. You can't sleep at night because you keep running through what you are going to say.


Finally, over an otherwise totally innocent cup of coffee, you decide to broach the subject. You casually mention that you think the two of you would be better as a couple. Oh, you think you're being so suave and subtle, don't you? But she laughs, because she thinks you're joking, since to her it's so blatantly obvious the two of you could never be more than friends. This breaks your carefully constructed facade (because all of the scenarios you ran through in your twisted, obsessive mind never ended with her rejecting you; that wasn't even a possibility in your consideration). It puts you on the defensive -- you have to rebuild your little fantasy, so you start listing the reasons why you are right for each other and explaining how deeply you feel about her, not noticing the look of horror growing on her face as she realizes that the deepest thing about you is your set of deep-seated psychological problems. Directly as possible she puts you in your place and beats a hasty retreat outta there.


You, of course, are crushed and hate yourself for being so stupid as to tell her how you really feel. Now you don't even have her as a friend, she's totally out of your life. So you immediately plan to regain her friendship...because "it's better to have her as a friend yadda yadda yadda." You call her or meet her, and totally lie and debase yourself. "Oh, silly me, it was just a crazy idea, I've been lonely, but I'm all over it now, I really couldn't bare to lose your friendship, blah blah blah." She, of course, accepts you back as a friend because she enjoys having you around to give her rides home and go to coffee or movies with between boyfriends. You, of course, are back to jerking off three times a day and living in misery. Somewhere in the distance, though, you can hear a voice. If you strain, you can make it out. . . listen . . . it's saying something to you . . .it's saying something. . . it's saying . . .. "Welcome, young sir. Welcome to Hell."


THERE IS A SOLUTION!!!!


The only way to fix this, is to go through the HORROR of getting to meet more girls.. IT will hurt and it will kill and it will make you feel so bad. But in the end you will have girls calling your house asking to hang with you and that cant be bad can it. LOL


And then you will look back and see just how incompetent you were when you were an average frustrated chump. The most noble and commendable thing an wuss can do is take action to change it. Just taking action in itself is a reward in itself. For an average person the change over shouldnt take longer than about 3 months. After which you will probably have already accumulated 5 or so girls. Which is about 5 more than what you would have had if you didnt go and try.

Go out and approach 4 women every day! Thats only 4! You could EASILY do it in an hour! Yes, you will get rejected MANY times, yes you will be nervous and afraid, and yes you will overcome your fears and start seeing RESULTS!!! How many success stories have you guys seen on this board? Not many. Just a bunch of whiners who arent ready to commit themselves to becoming more succesfull with women. I challenge all of you to get your asses in gear and make a commitment to changing yourself and overcoming your fears!!!

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