We think relationships are about exclusiveness, but then if that's the case why do many people cheat? Maybe we have to ditch the notion of being exclusive?

Humans are not monogamous creatures. Serious & successful relationships are kept alive by mental challenge. Physical attraction alone is never enough for a LTR. A more in depth level of compatibility is required. No man will ever be in a happy LTR with a hb10+ but that is dumb as a brick.

Anyway , that's relationships. Flings / ONS have only to do with attraction. You don't care how low her IQ is. She's hot , so you'd tap that.




Cheating is different for every person and it's definition also varies.Generally , however , people cheat for a number of reasons:

1. They give in to the attraction I was talking about above.
2. They're unhappy with their current relationship but don't have what it takes to end it or are keeping their partner along until someone better appears.
3. They're desperate validation seekers who feel very good about themselves once the other sex gives them attention.
4. Drunken mistakes.
5. Occasional state of vulnerability & weakness.
There are way to many reasons for cheating for anyone to list them. What it all comes down to , I believe , is the 'thrill' it offers. It's sort of a brake from your daily life. If your life lacks excitement , cheating is a way to provide it.


Personally , I can't say weather it's wrong or not. In some cases I definitely think it's immoral , but most times I don't.

Like I said , depends on the person. In my last LTR I spinned some plates , considering it was also LD. I never considered it immoral , because I still loved her just as much and treated her just as right. She never found out and so , I never hurt her. Why did I do it ? Although I loved my girl , I still enjoyed other women.

My friend had a great analogy about this.

Say your favorite food is pizza. You're not going to eat just pizza your entire life , from there on out , right ? And even if you do , you will still crave other dishes. So every now and then you taste something else. That doesn't mean you don't love pizza anymore , or that you don't respect it. You do , and it's still your alltime favorite.You'll probably even love it more , ironically enough.

I obviously would not 'cheat' if I were married though. That's just wrong on a lot of different levels. But there's also exceptions to that rule. If your wife is a raging slut then by all means...go ahead. But in that case , you're an idiot for marrying her in the first place,aren't you ?

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You're making it sound as if the cheated party should just get over it.

It's more complex than that I feel. If people agree to an exclusive relationship, then neither party can break it, unless it's an open relationship. Hence why I said maybe it's exclusiveness that is the issue, not cheating per se. Maybe we should encourage looser relationships, and not let religion or other crap influence things.

If I have entered an exclusive LTR than I think cheating is absolutely wrong, if they trust you and are under the full impression that you are absolutely exclusive, you can't break that.

Fortunately I have never been cheated on in a LTR afaik. But I have seen the absolute heartbreak and pain it has caused to friends of mine, and I couldn't inflict that on others. I always have the stones to break up with someone if I am thinking of looking elsewhere.

If you and your partner agree on an LTR and to be exclusive you've got to respect it. Even though all of us are on this forum for the community of meeting girls and playing the game, I still believe that women deserve respect. Cheating is called cheating because its not fair. If I'm committed to a chick, I'm a man about it. Just as I a man when I'm not committed. And as a man I do my part to respect my girl, take care of her and hold up my end of a relationship. Of course we want to fuck very hot chick we see. We're dudes. But a commitment is about being a man and taking care of said commitment.
If you can't respect your girl, don't be in the relationship. And if she can't respect you and be commuted to you, get rid of that bitch!

Like I said,it's a complicated matter. I'm not saying the cheated party should just get over it , it's just that some people thing exclusiveness is 'implied' in any relationship. It entirely depends on the people involved , their mentality and the nature of the relationship and how they define 'cheating'.

Some think kissing is cheating.
Some think making out is cheating.
Some think sex is .
Constantly seeing another person while with someone else is.

At any rate , once a committement of any sort is made and agreed upon by both parties , it should not be broken.

Anyway ,I agree 100% with your point. Relationships should be a little looser and definitely not influenced by religion and whatnot.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.