Skills, this is an open journal, your advice is very welcome.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Lets say that your qualities get up to her level. You are where she is at in terms of work and life, you have every little quality you admire about her. Do you believe that you will still be in love with her then? Will you be okay with the fact that she is the way she is, loose and free? The problem will still be there. You can make her orgasm to the heavens and wake up your neighbors or make her your maid but she will still be that same girl. Unless she changes herself. You can't perform miracles, and embarking on this experiment will set you up for disappointment.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

^Yes I think I would still be in love with her because her qualities and my qualities could synchronize and we could grow TOGETHER.

However, you are right, her personality would remain the same.

Which is why I don't understand at all why I feel the way I feel about this girl and I STILL want to uncover the reason for it so that I could start thinking more rationally about it and maybe revoke the effect with time.

It's been several days and she still hasn't contacted me or given me a callback from the last time I called her (2 days ago).

Painful. Unreasonable.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Instead of fighting it or looking for a rationale why don't you just accept the feeling and let it play out on its own?
Stay in the moment, you don't need an answer to everything nor right away. Just take it as it comes so you won't mindfuck yourself over. Keep your eyes on yourself and take care of yourself. I am sure the answer will come when you least seek or expect it.
^^
The usual advice for a oneitis actually. You need to get back to being you Lil Panda. Even if you are in love you can still keep your head on straight through it. You got it.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

It's funny you should say that Mr. Assertive, because I'm just about in the process of reading the Power of Now, which has greatly improved my ability to stay present and handle/organize my feelings.

Of course, all of which is going on is still annoying and unreasonable - but I don't 'feel' it. . . I just feel my body feeling it.

Meditation has never made more sense to me before than now and I'm glad I discovered it the proper way.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

FR #3: Bellatrix Returns: fr-3-bellatrix-returns-vt157702.html

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

OK I've given this a thought and this is what I've concluded (regarding my oneitis):

She has not hit me up in a long time and when I confronted her about it over text (was very discreet), she said sorry and that she would call me back the next day.

Well it's been 3 days tomorrow and still no word from her.

My last stand would be something like this: I text her a decently direct message saying something along the lines of 'You really suck at contacting people', with an added smiley at the end.

If this does nothing good for the interaction - I will simply stop contacting her and move on.

If, however, this miraculously wakes up a 'solution' and we start talking - I'm thinking of asking her out on a movie date or a picnic date where I will go full-on escalation and push it to the very limits.

Either way, I will get my answer about this girl from either the text message or the follow-up date as to if she is into me or not.

I've just about had it with this bullshit.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

Reading all of Tim Ferriss' books at once:

4 Hour Work Week
4 Hour Body
4 Hour Chef

So far everything seems legit. I've learned 2 new recipes for cooking (Sexy Steak and French Omelette) and I've been greatly inspired by the whole philosophy behind the way he views life.

His methods remind me a lot of the advice that kasabi tends to give.

Anybody read these books? What do you think?

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Just a few thoughts:

You are already in a 'relationship' with her. The way she behaves with you is the way she behaves with every guy she knows, including her boyfriend(s) She's always going to be an energy sucker. And although this will be difficult to quantify, she will suck more life out of those she fucks than those she does not.

You've been imagining and exploring her qualities to figure out why you might be infatuated with her but you haven't thought too much about her negative qualities. You've heard the cliche', "Love Knows No Boundaries." We are attracted to negative qualities and negative consequences just as much as we are attracted to the positives. She's non-communicative, moody, flighty, flip-flops her mind . . . and she does all of this knowing that it hurts others. Why are you so attracted to this? Do you recall anybody else in your past who fits this description? Do you recall anybody else making you feel nervous about 'relationships'?

We actually know EVERYTHING. . . but instead of accepting the negative (so that we can progress) we tend to manufacture positive things to balance out the negative. After all, we are taught at a young age that wrong is bad. Pain is bad. Bad is bad. . . but what exactly is so bad about bad? Everything is just a moment in time, and acceptance is the first rung of the ladder to get you over and out.

So . . . keeping ^this in mind, let's take a look at what you wrote here:
Now . . . I don't know this girl and I don't know her professional life. . . but if she is the woman you described to us in your journal, I can promise you that she is not punctual with her work nor is she professional. Being two completely different people in two different facets of life is a difficult task. When she's in a bad mood, she's not going to return calls; she's not going to follow up. When she's in a mood to work, she will. When she is not, she won't. She might seem to be getting by right now . . . but give it a few years, all of this will catch up. . . unless of course she's got a value proposition that trumps these unprofessional habits.

Take charge of your life. If you seek a professional mentor, then find yourself a professional. If you want help with scheduling, take a class. If you want to become a goofy chick, go find a counselor and hash it out. But avoid mixing all of this stuff with vagina. Your life is your life to live.

*By the way, were you the youngest sibling of your family?

Actually now that you mention it, this is the description of almost any girl that I've been falling for. I notice myself I keep falling for the 'crazy' ones, if one were to put a label on it.
So how to acknowledge the 'bads' and be able to act rationally rather than emotionally? I want to filter these kind of women away from me in the future, but they all keep coming back and I keep falling for them and I keep entering the same traps over and over.
I think you're spot on here now when I think of it. . .
No, the contrary.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

My friend just told me he met her on the street and apparently she told him she had 'met the love of her life' and showed pictures of him. They've been dating for over 2 weeks, which is about the time I asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said 'no'.

I feel like shit and I feel so stupid. You were all right. I don't know what I was thinking.

I can't believe I had hopes to actually make this work this time.

I even talked to her last night, asking her out on a formal date. She accepted (wtf?). So I sent her a text now, canceling it.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Stick to the fundamentals of the game. Be consistent. Reality can be a bitch...sorry bro. I am also learning that the hard way.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

The following is a little psychology mumbo jumbo in lay terms, and it's only my opinion . . . but if it seems to make sense to you, then consider working on it:

We often do things that we tell ourselves and others that "we do not like". Drug addicts only exaggerate their love for drugs in the movies. In real life, they detest it . . . they cry and complain about it all. But what can they do? Their brain needs to be fed what it has become accustomed to. Fear, anxiety, and uncertainty are labeled "negative emotions" yet people love to watch horror movies. Just like the drug addict, some people have a need to feed their brains the chemicals released from experiencing these emotions.

Unfortunately, we often knowingly and unknowingly create real-life horror movies, just to experience these emotions. Like a broken record, we're addicted to these situations, reliving them over and over again. You are not attracted to "these types of people" necessarily. It would be more accurate to say that you are attracted to these types of situations that these types of people are to likely to create along with you. And if you found a girl who is as you say you like, monogamous, you will either lose interest or create situations that make your relationship with her non-monogamous, just so you can go through with all this drama again.

Professional head-hunters, academic admissions, athletic scouts, talent scouts. . . these people DO NOT look for people to change or improve. They do not look for people that 'need work'. They look for a fit. And sure, nobody is a 100% fit for anybody else or a group but certain talents, values, skillets, and personalities MUST be a fit. So for you, it's got to be one thing or another. If you tell yourself that you desire a monogamous relationship, then you find a girl who is monogamous; that's it. . . it's as simple as that. . . or is it? . . . Because these girls don't particularly turn you on do they? So . . . it's still a choice. But going through these cycles and complaining about it isn't healthy at all.

There's a reason for all of this of course . . .and I bet you already know it. . . just like Ms. Goofy, the seeds for your drama were planted long ago. . .

If she met the love of her life, she would not have accepted to go on a date. Hang out with her, and see what happens... Dating over 2 weeks ain't shit!. And do not listen to friends, get it from her mouth... But don't go on a date, set up an encounter. My gf was into another dude when i met her(and i think in love with her ex), so that is 2 vs skills(i was needy as fuck)... At the end, i got her and we have been together 6 years.

Disney – Any thought derived from societal programming that monogamy, child rearing, or marriage is pleasant and/or permanent in the modern era. Disney is usually suffered by women, but a certain variation can be suffered by men as well (see: Guy-Disney).

Guy-Disney – The incorrect thought men have that somewhere out there is a girl who will love you forever, never cheat on you, never get bored with you, and never break up with you.

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

I've certainly been living in a nightmare all my life so far in that case. Yes, I need drama, it's true. I feel threatened by boredom and I seek for 'something to happen' all the time. These are the kind of girls that provide me with that drama. And when it gets out of control, I don't like it anymore. Especially when a woman has such strong control over my emotions.

Instead of trying to 'fix' or 'change' the seed which is now in the process of growing into a full 'dramatic' flower - maybe there is a way to channel it and transform it into something else? The question being: What now? Kasabi, your previous post made more than perfect sense and I completely agree with you. Somehow my situation seems so much more easier now that I understand WHY it's happening. I have the WHAT, but I need the HOW. . . What to do about this? Drug addicts have rehab, psychopaths have asylums . . . What do people with unwanted results have that can change their indirect choice of lifestyle?

Either:

1) Accept these women the way they are.
2) Change my attraction target to other kind of women.

Seeing that once I fall in love with a woman, #1 becomes unacceptable. . . Which leaves me to #2. Sure there must be a way to influence myself so that I stop being attracted to drama and the type of women that fulfill that drama. Maybe by finding drama in a different way? Or from a different, harmless source?

Don't know if my brain is lying to me or not, but I already feel that this woman was not a 'big loss' and I feel like I am completely in control over how much (read: little) I will be attracted to these women in the future. At least not beyond the sexual. And they DO emit a very strong sexual energy.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html