A'right so about 1 week and a half ago I broke up with my girl. We've been together 3 years.

Best relationship ever. Ended on mutual agreement because of long distance and financial problems that were really keeping us from seeing eachother(it has been a LDR for the last 1.5 years).Basically we could meet 1 weekend / month TOPS.

We still keep in touch and we're good friends. I have very strong feelings for her and so does she but we both know that we did the right thing for both of us. The only way we're gonna have a future together is after at least 2 years when she'll be moving in my current city.

So anyway...how do I get over this ?

It's honestly ridiculous...I go out with friends / I go play poker / I get myself faceplanted drunk / I talk to 10 different girls everyday / I work out...Problem is I just can't seem to enjoy anything now.I just lost all interest in doing ...well ,anything.

Wtf am I supposed to do ?I've been feeling like shit for the past 10 days.The more I go out the more I miss her.

I've never been so pathetic in my entire life.My brain forces me to think about her literally at least once or twice every hour. It's like she was the center of my fucking galaxy and now that she's gone , everything is total chaos.

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It might be like that for a while longer.

While breakups are initially more emotionally devastating for women, men take far longer to get over it, generally speaking.

This doesn't mean you're powerless to do anything about it, though. You said that you're talking to ten different girls every day? Why are you just talking?

You've dug yourself into a comfort zone of having little to no physical intimacy. Break out of that comfort zone.

Just talk because having sex with some chick while picturing my ex is something I don't find particularly healthy for neither of us. Specially me.Also I don't have that spark in me right now.I seem to be uninterested no matter how hot they are.Not to mention that sex with my ex was amazing and anything below that will probably make me even worse.

I'm glad it ended the way it did , with no drama and senseless hate but rather with love and maturity and whatnot ,but I think that it's also backfiring in my face pretty hard. If I had some sort of negative event to focus on it would probably be easier.

There might be more truth to this that I'm capable of realizing now.

Anyway , thanks for your reply. Appreciate it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Take it one step at a time. Baby steps.

No need to be picturing anyone but the woman right in front of you. No need to pressure yourself into having sex or getting turned on by her. Just give her a fair shot in inspiring you in ways you wouldn't have expected. Comparing her to any past experience would also be unfair.

When you're listening to that new girl right in front of you, stop your thoughts and really listen. You'll find something good.

Then try a little kino and see where it goes from there.

Yeah you're right. Baby steps is what I need. I have to get out of my own head.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

A breakup is like when your pet dies. You had it for x amount of years and now it's gone forever. All that time together. It's sad, tragic, etc.

But as time goes on the pain lessens. Sure, if you sit there and stare at pictures of you and them together everyday then it makes it worse. But if you block it out and focus on other stuff you will eventually distance yourself from the memories and emotions and before you know it you'll have a much healthier perspective on it.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Time.

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I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

Yeah ...I guess so. Part of me fears that it's gonna be a long time till I can find another equally as good of a match. That's where most of my pathetic state comes from I guess.

I built my world around her. High risk high reward. Seems like I lost this hand.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

This is so fucking stupid. You obviously love her. And you mutually broke up over the two most retarded reasons you could name. Distance and money. Are you fucking kidding me? If she feels the same, one of you needs to move. Go get her you retard.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

I bet you can find a better way to say this. Come on, the guy is depressed and it's 100% normal in this situation.

Like one guy above said, time will make things better. I believe that if you can think about her a little bit less day after day you will (eventually) get over it. Just wait and you will start to feel better if you are able to find activities to distract your mind. You should also share your emotions with your best friends there are here to give you some support.

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

This and you need to cut off ALL CONTACT with her, its hard to do but if you really want to get over her its the only way, the minute so see via facebook twitter or some other social media site that shes talking to some other guy your going to make it a lot worse for yourself

First thing you have to do is tell yourself that it's ok to miss her. Perfectly ok! And it's ok to think about her... Encourage yourself to think about her, don't force yourself not to! If you don't give yourself the time to grief / process the thoughts about her, it'll fuck you up for longer.
Still try to be active and outgoing tho, as much as you can. There is a difference between grief and self-pity.

Second thing to do (starting from NOW): As mentioned before, cut ALL contact and DON'T look at pictures/facebook profile/all that sort of sh#t. Do whatever is necessary to prevent you from looking at stuff that reminds you.
Treat it like she doesn't exist anymore, but let your thoughts out and if it makes you feel better, cry about it. Now is the time to reflect on everything WITHOUT making more memories...

Once you have done that for a couple of weeks (with no cheat-days;), it's time to reflect if you are sure you don't want to continue seeing her.

If you then still think it's better as it is in the long run, even if you have the slightest doubt about taking her back, stay away and start putting yourself together (will probably take you almost a month to get to this point). If you think you want her back, follow Fly's advise.

All I can tell you is that you WILL find someone like her or even better than her. I know it sounds nonsense but it's very true. And I was really f#cked up after my first long term relationship back in the days...


As you can see, it takes time and there are no shortcuts. Same as there is no f*cking shortcut to f#%king six-pack abs. You have to break properly to pick up the pieces and put yourself together.

Yeah I guess I gotta go through it. I'm trying to brake off all contact but there's always that retarded friend(not just one) that feels the need to somehow message me :"DUDE DID YOU SEE THE PIC OF HER AND THAT GUY ON FACEBOOK ? DUDE THEY'RE TOTALLY HITTING IT OFF" or "DUDE I'M SORRY MAN BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ALREADY GONNA BE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP REAL SOON.

She a fucking hb , she's obviously gonna get the attention of guys left and right. Part of me feels the need to go berserk and bash some skulls in but I don't really like to act on emotion like that since it's retarded and weak. Other part is rational and tries to not give a fuck , and in the best case just be glad for her cuz she seems to be having an easier time.

Somehow I think that the 'pain' I feel now she'll only get to feel a lot later.

All in all if I were in her place I'd enjoy the company of other guys too if it would make it easier on me.Hating on this is stupidly pointless.

Problem is that I make a couple of steps forward trying to put myself together and then the friendtard drops a fucking bomb like that on me and I'm straight back on my knees.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You're going to feel that way for a while, most men do after a breakup. Even mutual ones. Its an ego thing. I went through the same thing when I first broke up with my ex after 3 and a half years. Being with someone for that long, you feel possessive over them. You need to learn that it is out of your control, and she can date whomever she wants. Since most women have a fear of being alone, take solace that her rebound will most likely not work out. In the mean time, work on yourself.

You will think about her, whether you want to or not. Realize that. I would say don't enter another relationship until you're happy as a single man. Truly happy, not just content. That is when you know you are ready to enter another relationship, if you choose to do so.

_________________
The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

The level of retardation in this thread is over 9000. No one else brought up the possibility of getting back with her. Even OP ignored my advice. There is no hope for humanity.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.