More improvements to my inner game have resulted in further reductions in my anxieties during sarges. Actually, I've discovered that once I establish a vibe in a conversation, the anxiety disappears entirely. However, two distinct periods of time before establishing the vibe still spikes my anxiety levels:
1) Between approaching and opening a HB9 or HB10. This is because I hesitate still before opening them, breaking the 3s rule (which I do not for 8's and below most of the time), which stirs up a whirlwind of doubts and fears in my mind. Logically, I know these fears are baseless, but they nevertheless interfere with my ability to game in the sets.
2) Between attraction and comfort. I've noticed that girls will be guarded and rigid when you approach, but after a few minutes---sometimes a few seconds after the opener and you make them laugh---they will become "receptive" to you and your presence. I'm not counting IOI's anymore, I've gotten to the point where something in the body language, voice, or eye contact of a woman tells me she is attracted---although I have to admit it gives my ego a huge boost to make a pretty girl blush within the first 60 seconds of talking to her.
Anyhow, the pressure's all on me to deliver---or at least not fuck up---between this moment and the moment we become comfortable with each other. And that causes my anxieties to rise, because I've become emotionally invested in the interaction and there is a definite risk of me losing that investment. Ironically, when my anxieties rise, it affects my game in a negative way, which then increases the risk of me losing the girl's attraction. It's an internal loop that feeds back into itself. The hotter the girl I'm sarging, the more likely it is that the loop gets started. Once it gets started, it can be very very hard to break.
I've identified the problem and am working towards resolving it. The simplest way is to not care about the outcome of the sarge. Of course this is easier said than done. Separating myself emotionally from the results while still committing myself emotionally to the interaction (i.e. vibing) is tricky, to say the least. Another trick is to establish strong kino at the very beginning, say within 30 seconds of opening. I've found that the more I touch the girl, the more comfortable I become with her and her with me, and the less pressure there is on me to establish rapport later on. Finally, I've found C&F mixed with direct game type statements to alleviate the tension by producing laughter while establishing honesty and trust---I'm basically saying to the girl "hey, this is who I am, take it or leave it". The fear of rejection becomes dulled when you realize that if this person were to reject you, it would not be because you fucked up, rather because their core values are completely different from yours. Since I try to be fun and lively in all my sarges, it would mean they're dead inside...no big loss then
